A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws a rope around the rock and ties it to his horse and pulls the rock off the man. The man, grateful as he is, tells the king that he's really a great sorcerer, and gives the king three wishes.
The king looks at the Sorcerer and says, "OK, then I wish to be immortal", the sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done." The king takes a knife and stabs himself and nothing happens, then he says, "OK, then I want my horse to be immortal." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done". The king, happy as can be, stabs his horse and nothing happens, then he says, "OK, then I want my horses genitals." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done".
The king, still happy, jumps on his horse and rides back to his castle, in the doorway he meets his friend Peter, jumps off the horse and tells Peter that he's now immortal. Peter laughs, but the king gives Peter his knife and says "Here stab me with the knife." Peter stabs the king as ordered and nothing happens, then the king shows Peter that his horse also is immortal, and replies "That's not even the best part look at this" and the king drops his pants. Peter looks at the naked king and screams out loud "Damn that's the biggest pussy I've ever seen..."
A man and his wife were pulling weeds in the yard. She went to throw some weeds in trash near the BBQ grill. When he looked up at her he remarked about her butt being as big as the grill. She said it wasn't, but he kept on saying it was. He went into the house and got a tape measure and measured her butt. He then went to the grill and measured it. "I told you your butt was as wide as the BBQ grill." Well this really made her mad. Several days passed and she still hadn't spoken to him. That night while in bed, he rolled over and asked, "Are you still mad at me?" She looked over her shoulder at him and said, "If you think I'm going to fire up this grill for one little weenie, you better think again!"
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