g_b Give a suitable subject.

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 22:45:26 -0800

Hi Angel!
 
Angel I think some where these guys are not understanding the meaning of marriage.
They think marriage means officially being allowed to do sex and live together. But marriage has much more meaning then this. Its about giving another generation to the world. Having your family and bringing up your child/childern. Thats your social responsibilty. It not about just giving birth but to make them good human beings. Certainly guy with guy or girl with girl can not do so. This is the law of nature, which no one can change.
 
Why a gay can not love a female? Why can not gay marry a woman? To love a female and to marry her, is a sin? We never love any one according to their gender. Else it would be like gays would love any guy. But thats not so. We love someone because we find him/her the best and lovable.
 
Here the meaning of love has changed. You are a gay so you should love only guys, whether straight, bi or gay. Again marriage is treated very differently. Some say you should tell you wife that you are gay. But what if she is not able to face the truth?
All truth need not be told to everyone or anyone. There is certainly no intention to cheat her. Many a times it does happen that we dont open up. Does that mean we are trying to cheat? We are enough caring not to hurt her. Who can't digest the truth need not be told.
 
My parent knew that I was liking guys. But never they told me. They always showed their worry, when I use to refuse to marry. They bought many proposals, but I refused. I could see misery in their eyes. Like others I too thought, marrying a girl would be cheating her. But my best friend who happens to be straight told me "Do your deeds", do what as son you are suppose to do. I asked him then what about being a husband? He said those who for their sake of parents, sacrifice their life and happiness, are never left alone by GOD. For parents are before God. If you know that by you marrying a girl, they will be happy, marry. And as a son I have fulfilled my duty, now being husband I am trying.
And this is what religion teaches us. "Karm kar phal ki chinta mat kar."
So you need to first know your karm and your dharam(duty). You don't worry about the Phal part. I am much happy to see them happy. This is what I call family. I would have been deprived from seeing my parents happy, if I would have refused to marry. And yes I do believe that God is with me. I am not alone.
 
We all are different, as our life is also different. So we all think differently. Hence I do not agree or disagree with any one's opinion here. We all have right to live our life, the way we want. Either we live our way or the way that our loved one's expect. But how we live it, that makes the difference.
 
One more thing to add here. There is some one who asked me "Am I a part time or full time Gay? As he told that he is a full time gay, I am very sorry. I never knew that there were guys who had gay in their mind all round the clock. I thought that like me everyone is dedicated to their work and other responsibilties, when they are into it. I dint know that even during work time there would be gay in his mind. Then I certainly need to apologize, to hurt him for his 24hrs gay feeling in his heart/mind/soul, where it resides. I was thinking that gays are more dedicated to their work and I have come across such guys only. Never had came across guys like him. He have changed the gay meaning that I carried with me. I think he might be professionally also involved.
Good going, then its matter of his bread and butter also. Hence no comments on him.
 
Regards,
Sumeet.
 
 

Android Angel <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
I think salil you are diverting from role clarity specified by Sumeet. Marriage is another activity holded for lifetime  as per indian culture. But other aspect of being together is not just cultural binding, but one may like to have one's own female partner & child. What should one can do best possible in current framework of indian society. because does not mean just sex n stay together but making two ends meet for day to day needs by all means in kind of environment we have grown up. We expect female response on particular situation what's then? If one would have grown up in only gay world right from birth, then the feelings , understandings n expectations would be altogether different. This I can call blended in prevailing surrounding to have homosexual feeling. You can't just cut urself from rest of female world for the heck of it. You definitely enjoy interaction with woman at some junction of routine activities.
 
What I mean to say is nothing is guilty untill unless u feel it and do it intentionally. If you define it as sin then you should not just count it by it's weight. Then u have to treat everything committed like that as sin even though it does surface anywhere. That's the reason being 100% is nowhere in the world except mathematics. I am not convincing but stating live life as u wish, but then stand for anything come in ur way as well. Don't run away n give up, that is what is sin. For every aspect life u need to apply this one n not just homosexuality.
 
Angel

Salil <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Sumeet,

I would like to not run away from "social and family responsibility". The problem is your definition of social and family responsibility is heterosexual marriage by all men including those who are exclusively homosexual. This is something that heterosexual people told you, and you do not consider disagreeing with it. Other people on this list, including me, define social and family responsibility as mutually respectful and caring relationships with parents and gay/straight spouses in particular and other members of society in general.

I am gay. Therefore I would like to get married to my boyfriend and not to a girl. I would also like to adopt kids. My boyfriend will allow me to be "24 hours gay", since he and I both know that I do not become gay for "a while in a day". I am gay all 24 hours, just as straight men are straight all 24 hours. My parents do not know I am gay, but I have told them I shall not be marrying, and they are quite okay with it. They understand it is my life and not theirs. They wanted to marry, so they did. I do not want to, so I will not. If they insist, I shall resist. I shall explain, not capitulate.

So tell me, what responsibility shall I be running away from by being true to myself, my boyfriend, my parents and the world around me ? Allow me to marry, and I shall marry today - but it will be a guy, not a girl.

Regards,
Salil

Sumeet Mehra <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hey Guys!
 
Thanks Angel!
 
Guys who agree or disagree with me, just go and watch broke back moutain.
In this movie there is gay couple who after departing from each other get married to female. Both have kids. They both are living very responsible lives, as a husband and even as a father. Then after 4 years the guys happen to meet again. They again enter into realation, without their woman knowing it. But one guy's female come to know and after some years she breaks the relation. But the other guy's female is not aware and so she is happy with his man. This is no more just my view point but now even others agree.
 
Look guys if you want to marry...go ahead. If you dont want to then don't, but dont give lame excuse that you cant spoil any girls life. You are by no means God that you can make any one's life good or bad. Stop treating your self as God.
 
Why stick on to just one identify as Gay when one is not gay for all 24hrs? Like woman even man is a son, brother, father, husband, so what if one more thing added gay. I think we can fulfill all relations properly. I dont say one must ignore family. Yes family comes first. But when you want to live for yourself for a while in a day, which everyone does, do whatever you like. Thats where I think we make a difference. So guys just by carrying a bit difference in our preference of sex, why do we want to run away from our social as well as family responsibilty.
 
Cheers!
Sumeet.


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