Hi Russ, Please see my reply inline tagged as [GF]. Thanks,
Giuseppe -----Original Message----- From: Russ Housley <hous...@vigilsec.com> Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2022 10:33 PM To: Giuseppe Fioccola <giuseppe.fiocc...@huawei.com> Cc: IETF Gen-ART <gen-art@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis....@ietf.org; i...@ietf.org; last-c...@ietf.org Subject: Re: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02 > On Jun 29, 2022, at 11:57 AM, Giuseppe Fioccola > <giuseppe.fiocc...@huawei.com> wrote: > > Dear Russ, > Thank you for your review. > I will revise the draft to address your comments. > Please see my reply inline tagged as [GF]. > > Best Regards, > > Giuseppe > > > -----Original Message----- > From: Russ Housley via Datatracker <nore...@ietf.org> > Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2022 4:04 PM > To: gen-art@ietf.org > Cc: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis....@ietf.org; i...@ietf.org; last-c...@ietf.org > Subject: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02 > > Reviewer: Russ Housley > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review > Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the > IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call > comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02 > Reviewer: Russ Housley > Review Date: 2022-06-29 > IETF LC End Date: 2022-06-21 > IESG Telechat date: 2022-07-14 > > > Summary: Ready with Nits > > > Major Concerns: None > > > Minor Concerns: > > Section 8 says: "... can be incorporated into A, ..." > I think that "A" is described in Figure 5, but it took me a few minutes to > figure that out. Please clarify. > > [GF]: Sure, I will clarify that A is introduced in RFC8321bis and possibly > refer to the Figure. > > > Section 9 says: > > Either one or two flag bits might be available for marking in > different deployments: > > This is followed by three labeled paragraphs. Can this sentence be expanded > to cover all three of the paragraphs that follow? > > [GF]: Yes, I will highlight that three possibilities are possible. > > > Nits: > > Section 5.1: s/split our monitoring/split the monitoring/ > > [GF]: Ok > > Section 5.1: s/In our monitoring network/In the monitoring network/ > > [GF]: Ok All of the above look fine. [GF]: Great. I will update the draft accordingly. > > Section 5.1 says: > > The algorithm described above network is an iterative clustering > algorithm, but it is also possible to apply a recursive clustering > algorithm by using the node-node adjacency matrix representation > [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM]. > > I cannot understand is sentence. > > [GF]: [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM] describes different algorithms (iterative and > recursive) for cluster partition. In this document we only describe the > iterative approach since it executes steps in iterations. While the recursive > algorithm is detailed in the paper. I will reword this paragraph to make it > clearer. This is a grammar concern. "The algorithm described above network is ..." does not parse. [GF]: Ok, I will revise the sentence. The word "network" is not necessary. Russ _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
