hi ts -
While i appreciate that you are apologizing (and apology is accepted btw) there is no way i can adequately reply to what you've written here. I don't have a spiteful or vindictive bone in my body. Those qualities are not in my nature. Many list owners set "moderator" privileges at the same level that yours were set, it is done frequently and is not done from spite by anyone. People tend to accuse others of having negative traits that they themselves posess, and i think that is what is going on here but it doesn't matter. Speaking for myself, again the apology is accepted. I wrote here a couple of weeks ago about sensitivities and stress, in this post: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HolyGeek/message/2788 This is what i wrote then: "I have an autoimmune condition in which anti-nuclear antibodies are present at very high levels. These are antibodies that attack RNA, DNA, nucleoli ... that sort of thing. One thing i have learned over the years is that "managing" exposure to highly-stressful physical and emotional situations has a bearing on remission and exacerbation of symptoms i can "feel" and probably also on long-term damage at a cellular level." I am tired and feeling a relapse coming on and am just probably going to be quiet for a while. Anyway, thanks again for the apology and the invitation to rejoin Curl forum. Take care everyone. Happy New Years' Eve Eve. love and peace, joyce --- In [email protected], "ts" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In [email protected], "know_mystery" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > wrote: > > > > i want to be able to edit the main page description. > > > that is why lob gave it to me in the first place ... > > > so i could put that jade yogi anim on it. > > ~~~ > [bear with me joyce ... > please read the whole spiel ... > you know ... i'm just jammin' here > as i am prone to do ... > and reserve judgment until the end, ok?] > ~~~ > > > NO, he did not give it to you - you request it so you could add your > > graphic image to the page. > > well ... i don't believe that is correct. > i made this anim esp for Lobster. > he gave me access here so i could do exactly that ... > put this anim here to see how it worked. > i had a lot of trouble with getting it correct ... > esp getting the speed right and the transparency. > so i put it here and contnued to tweak it until it > did what he wanted. > now ... i have learned how to create a much better > version and want to replace what is here. > > i don't esp need to invite people here ... > as i can steer them towards the group ... > and do so all of the time. > but it is easier to send them an invite ... > so that's not a big deal. > > but i do want to be able to edit that page. > and there is no reason on earth why you should > step in and keep me from doing that. > well ... no rational one. ;) > it is ablolutely no skin off of your nose that > i have the ability to do this editing. > why would you do this if not out of spite? > what else am i to think? > why else do this? > there is absolutely no other reason to keep me > from editing LOBSTER's page on HIS group as long > as he has no problem with my doing so. > > > you cannot delete the group and you cannot ban or remove members > > ts, you have banned me elsewhere in the past 48 hours and you have > > blocked me elsewhere in the past 48 hours. i have no reason to > > believe that you would not have done so here as well... > > ~~~ > well ... i assure you that is not the case. > i have no desire to delete Lob's group!!!!! > can you really believe that i would? ;) lol > come on!!! get a grip!!! > this is not MY group ... > [it is not yours either btw] > it is LOB's. > and i have never had any intention of deleting > HIS group or of banning HIS members or removing them. > why would i? > > was it a mistake to ban you from Curl? > sure. that was me being vindictive ... > being human and striking out when you hurt my feelings. > blocking my page at the Peace wiki i think was justified > as you were indeed messing up my efforts to work out > page formatting. > and you were doing that out of spite. > we both have screwed up joyce ... > niether of us in the innocent here. ;) > > > seems fair i think. > > > > love and peace, > > joyce > > well i don't think it is ... > i think you are being spiteful again now ... > and i don't see how you can say you are not. > you are going to have to get over this, joyce. > seriously. for real. > not for me ... > although i would certainly appreciate it ;) .. > but for you. > why would you want to continue to be like this? > what's in it for you? > what's the payoff? > what gain? > none that i can see. > > see ... i am trying to process thru this anger. > got most of it behind me ... > got a bit more to go but i am indeed getting it. > now you aren't making it easy ;) ... > but i am still going to work on thru it. > > i had a very good talk with lob this morning ... > and that has really helped me to put things > into perspective. > that's how i work. i am indeed passionate ... > and i know you are as well. > i make no excuse about being so. > why would i? why would you? > i may appear as a bull in a china shop ... > [although i prefer the unchained grizzly metaphor] ;) > but then i do have my act together enough so > that i can step back and take an honest look > at my actions and then alter/change them. > it is all grist for the mill. > when this happens and i see it ... > i then take the opportunity to use it to advantage. > to grow and move a little farther down the Path. > these past few daze are no exception. > i will USE these experiences to my advantage. > > so i want to thank you for your part in it. > for allowing me to SEE it. > for bringing it to my attention. > but ... > enough is enough! > i got it, ok? ;) > > as siski aki used to say ... > "oh no! not AFGO!!!!! > [Another F**kin' Growth Opportunity!] ;) lol > > so i am indeed moving beyond this ... > taking whatever i can from the experience > and using that to help my self. > i had to get beyond this shit. > so do you, joyce. > is it not so? > > see ... > i didn't do it for YOU. > i did it for ME. > because it is not healthy to be angry ... > or spiteful or vindictive. > there is nothing wrong with getting angry ... > it is part of being human ... > just as is being happy or sad or even fearful. > there are instances when any of these is appropriate. > but it is not ok or healthy to indulge in anger ... > or to let it keep running us around. > > WE need to get beyond this joyce. > both you and i. > we have been doing this long enough don't you think? > this serves neither of us. > unless ... we use it to bootstrap ourselves up. > can we take this opportunity ... > now that we are sensitive to the FACT that this has > been running us both around for a long time ... > to find a way to leave this crap behind us? > can we begin to work it out and let it go? > > can we have the intention to do that? > can we concentrate on that? > and if either of us falters ... > to be sensitive enough to find a way to gently remind > one another of our ihtention.? > can we do that? > i believe i can. > i do admire your many talents a great deal. > just usually don't have the opportunity to tell you so. ;) > i guess i don't see you as being open to that. > there are lots of defences there. imo. ime. > i would love nothing more than to truly be your friend. > i do have the desire to do just that. > and the intention. > and you? > > i can't do it by myself. > what do you say? > > in love and peace. > truly. > > -ts- > btw ... > did you know that i made the dophin anim esp for you? > i heard you speak of dophins somewhere in some post ... > and the reminded me that i had found some dolphin models > not long before. so that triggered it and i made it up. > i don't know if you know that ... > if you did you never acknowledged it ... > and i think my feeling are still hurt over that as well. > what silly creatures we humans can be, eh? ;) > anyway ... that dophin is yours. ------------------------ Yahoo! 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