Debra-
Thank you so much for sending this. I accept your apology and forgive you. I
am sorry I have not written back sooner, but I found it necessary to unplug
for awhile. I don't fault you for anything especially regarding Mark (who
thinks he's Marcel). As you probably might notice I tend to avoid political
debates in this particular arena. When I first joined this list, I use to
wonder why the hell people weren't talking about Joni and having all these
other discussions. I got in a couple of flame wars over all that. After I
grew up, I realized that I too didn't wanna talk about just Joni. As a
matter of fact, I found out that I didn't even wanna discuss her love life
or any other thing about her personal life (which is done here regularly). I
don't think it's right (but don't attack people for their right to free
speech). I am not above some gossip over the phone or some juicy tidbits
over cocktails, but on this list I avoid those issues as much as possible.
Marcel got what he asked for and so be it. Being a Christian I am capable of
forgiving him for being an asshole. I am the worlds leading expert because
despite popular belief I have a dark side just like anyone else and can be
the biggest asshole in the world (just ask some of my friends).
I find it necessary at this time to follow my wise and very talented brother
Steve from Sourthern California for awhile and take a little break. This has
NOTHING to do with Marcel for I think he made HIS bed and he can sleep in it
alone. It was his own choice and I don't think he will change to please
anyone but himself. I do know that this list brought out in him the music
that was asleep inside of him and recently told me a story to me about going
back to his old college and in his biz suit and took his guitar out of the
trunk of his car, went into one of the old dorms and up in one of those
stairwells (you know the ones with the great reverb) and played his guitar
and sang a few tunes. After he finished playing he heard the sound of
applause. It was some students that had heard him and came to check out who
it was that was playing. They commented something like, "look it's an old
guy-who ARE you" etc. The wanted him to sign up to play in their campus
coffeehouse so they could enjoy the music more. The story touched me because
of the damn music that fills my whole being everyday of my life (plus I have
played a few stairwells in my life). It is also the similar to the way I
discovered Joni Mitchell in Paris from a girl called Julie who was playing
Joni songs on the stoop of a hostel in the west bank of Paris. Thanks Julie
whereever you are. I thank God that the music found Mark again and that I
had the chance to play with him and meet him in person. I have been honored
to meet so many of you and feel blessed to have create friendships that will
last forever. I continue to support Les for it is his domain and I am
merely a grateful guest here.
I have for awhile being going thru many other issues in my life and thru the
grace of many of you on this list who have reached out to help me (as well
as other friends not on this list), I have decided to make a stronger effort
to improve things for myself. I thank all of my friends here for all the
cards, letters, and phone calls recently and for your love and concern. I
especially want to thank publically Marian Russell for her kind and
beautiful email that I received this morning. I have been weepy and sad, but
had not yet been able to have a really good cry about this whole fecking
mess and she opened the flood gates for me. Putting dear old mom up there
with those other wonderful women was an image that I needed to see and her
compassion and intelligence shines SO brightly. There is nothing in life
that comes close to the release of laughing and and really good cry. Marian
you continue to be my hero on the list and I thank you again for bringing me
back to my guitar and I wish I could give you a huge hug right now.
I don't think I am leaving for good for I still love this place to much and
have been touched so deeply by so many of you here, but I need to take a
little nap.
To EVERYBODY in NYC, Washington, Boston, and PA. I will continue to keep you
in my thoughts and prayers as I will for the whole world, for it has all
been changed forever. I pray they find more survivors. I think the rain
today was the good! Lords way of getting at least some water to some of
those people that are trapped in there. The morning newscaster saw it as a
deterent in the rescue effort, but go figure, I saw it as a possible help. I
have always been a terminal optimist and very positive. I know we can not
have good without the bad, but I am not so naive to think that I need to act
bad to be good. I guess some people might even tell you that when I am bad I
am really good, but I digress...Keep laughing and loving and sharing of
yourselves and avoid the bull shit if at all possible especially in these
troubled times. It's nowhere.
I will be thinking of you I am sure and I know I will miss you.
Love and peace to you all,
Michael Paz
....nothing lasts for long, nothing lasts for long, nothing lasts for
long.....
----- Original Message -----
From: "dsk" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Cc: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2001 12:02 AM
Subject: To Michael Paz and everyone else too (NJC)
> Michael,
>
> I have been rougher on you than you deserve and I'm very sorry for that.
> And to other listmembers too... my message today was certainly not one
> of my finest. Please forgive me for assaulting you all in that way.
>
> Debra Shea
