Martha Stewart vs Me
> > Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar > > cone to prevent ice cream drips. > > > > My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's > > sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it > > anyway. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag > > with the potatoes. > > > > My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up > > to a year. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use > > a bit of the dry cake mix instead ! and there won't be any white mess on > > the outside of the cake. > > > > My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still > > cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an > > instant "fix me up". > > > > My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. My > > motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the > > refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. > > > > My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! > > > > Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to > > yield a beautiful glossy finish. > > > > My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg > > whites over the crust and so I don't do it. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it > > on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. > > > > My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a > > lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the > > problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now BLIND! > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #8: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice > > cubes for! future use in casseroles and sauces. > > > > My way: Leftover wine? Now that's hilarious! > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #9: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex > > dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. > > > > My way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > Martha's way #10: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just > > slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse. > > > > My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti- bacterial soap in > > the handy dispenser next to my sink. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
