>> > The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were >> > asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. >> > >> > >> > The following were some of the winning entries: >> > >> > Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. >> > >> > Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. >> > >> > Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. >> > >> > Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. >> > >> > Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent >> > >> > Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly >> > answer the door in your nightie. >> > >> > Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. >> > >> > Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. >> > >> > Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are >>run >> > over by a steamroller. >> > >> > Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. >> > >> > Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. >> > >> > Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a >>proctologist >> > immediately before he examines you. >> > >> > Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish >> > expressions. >> > >> > Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. >> > >> > Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes >>up >> > on the roof and gets stuck there. >> > >> > Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
