This is posted early because someone asked about Judy Collins.
On this date in Joni History, 1969: As everyone knows, according to Ephoros, there were 3 muses, with Aoide being the muse of music. (Do not be confused that Myrtilos thougth there wer 7 muses or Hesiod thought there were 9, what did they know?) On this date, 22 April 1969, the Muse of Music, Aoide, went to God and said, God, "I have a problem. There are 3 great artists and I wish to know which is the greatest of all. Is it Joan Baez, Judy Collins, or Joni Mitchell? Who has the greatest talent of all?" And God said, "I will give you a test to pose to all three, and by their answers you will know who is the greatest of all. Appear to each in a dream and say, name an outstanding man, and explain why that man is outstanding." Aoide said to God, "In all of creation, in all of history, has there ever been an outstanding man? This is too great of a test!" God smiled at Aoide, and she said to Aoide, "The greatest artist can take up even this challenge." So Aoide went to Joan Baez in a dream and said, who is an outstanding man? And Joan answered, "My husband David. He grew up in a poor family and went out among the poor and disspossessed and taught them to seek justice and equality, to oppose war and violence; David said there was a better way. David organized draft resistance, and for this, the authorities locked him away. And in jail David organized the prisoners and led a hunger strike so that even the least of people shall be accorded respect and granted dignity and full human rights. And David will always be remembered because I will talk about him in the Woodstock movie and generations shall know his story" Aoide said to God, "Surely Joan is the greatest because she knows such an outstanding man." God said, "try again." So Aoide likewise went to Judy Collins in a similar manner and Judy answered, "My former lover Stephen. He grew up in a poor family, came into this life, the son of a woman and a man who lived in strife, he was tired of being poor, and he wasn't into selling door to door, and he worked like a devil to be warm. So he took his guitar and went to the people and sang that they should stop, look what's going on, and he sang songs of peace, like Wooden Ships, and he moved people. But best of all, he loved me, and I broke up with him and he wrote "Suite Judy Blue Eyes" about me and it became a very famous song and now people pay $250 a ticket just to hear Stephen sing about me in a song about me that shall always be remembered." Aoide said to God, "Surely Judy is the greatest because she knows such an outstanding man." God said, "try again." So Aoide now went to Joni Mitchell and asked the same question. And Joni began to talk in a torrent, "Perhaps our souls are all little men. Maybe our souls are all women. But an outstanding man is Jesus. He grew up in a poor family and went out to the disspossed people and brought them food and healing, and spoke of love, justice, and the equality of all people and a day to come when all would be blessed and satisfied. Jesus treated women as equals, even more, in that the Gospel was always first proclaimed to women. Jesus taught that all people are good and loved by God. The authorities hated Jesus so they arrested Jesus. And Jesus will always be remembered because they beat Jesus and crucified Jesus and Jesus died and they put him in a tomb and put a large stone in front of the tomb sealed the tomb and put guards oiutside the tomb to keep Jesus in the tomb. But an angel came from God and rolled the stone away, and Jesus stepped out, and if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter." And Aoide found the greatest of them all. And God said, SIQUOMB. And thus Joni took us back to the garden, to get our souls free.
