>>Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already >>know everything. >>~~~ >>Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a >>while...it isn't as hot. >>~~~ >>I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and >>think, "Well, that's not going to happen." >>~~~ >>If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell >>who the sucker is, it's you. >>~~~ >>Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of >>nothing. >>~~~ >>The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an >>argument going. >>~~~ >>Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks >>about seeing UFOs like they use to. >>~~~ >>You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on >>two legs then you lean too far and >>you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like >>that all the time. >>~~~ >>According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about >>women, are their eyes. >>And women say the first thing they notice about men is, that they're a >>bunch of liars. >>~~~ >>Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. >>~~~ >>All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to >>criticism. >>~~~ >>Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a >>substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? >>~~~ >>I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling. >>~~~ >>In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is >>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. >>~~~ >>Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to >>realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. >>~~~ >>There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what >>the Universe is for and why it is here, >>it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre >>and inexplicable. >>There is another theory which states that this has already happened. >>~~~ >>How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole >>box to start a campfire? >>~~~ >>Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, >>and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner." >>~~~ >>You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but >>they hung around on these expired visas, >>some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are >>two days late with a video and those people >>are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
