MI Friday Humor

[ROBERT CARPENTER]

Subject: The Pillsbury Doughboy-dead at 71 Date: Wed, 15 Dec 1999 16:41:16 EST Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Cap'n Crunch and many others. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as aman who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. Some say he loafed too much. Others said he had a rye sense of humor that went against the grain. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. In most situations, he would always rise to the occassion. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.