On 16 December 2012 23:56, Sivan Greenberg <si...@omniqueue.com> wrote:
> On Mon, Dec 17, 2012 at 1:25 AM, Simonas Leleiva < > simonas.lele...@gmail.com> wrote: > >> NemoMobile >> >> >> The future of mobile computing is in our hands - today. > > > (sounds too long to me compared to the original, was just the 'computing' > word added?)... > >> >> -1 It's because otherwise there would be 3 repetitions of the same dry noun "mobile": NemoMobile, future of mobile, Linux for your mobile. Doesn't read easily. Presenting Linux for your mobile. >> > > Feature rich. Free and open source. First of its kind. >> >> The heart of NemoMobile is a lightweight Linux distro called Mer. It >> can power a wide range of devices: from interactive alarm clocks to >> car entertainment systems and smart TVs. >> > > Now this seems to say much more about Mer, but if I'm just arriving I'll > ask "So what's that NemoMobile??". > +1, however in etherpad you corrected it into "open source operating system", where "open source" has already been mentioned in a previous sentence. I'd suggest: "Nemo Mobile is a Linux operating system for mobile devices." just like Nemo's wiki says Also, heart can be interested differently by different developers / landers > on the page. > +1 now it explains what -NemoMobile- is better! > >> Become a NemoMobile developer and enjoy the freedom. Nemo-power your >> mobile phone, tablet, LCD shopping list on your fridge, ... , and >> share the experience! If you get it to make tea, invite us! The more >> > > -> Nemo power again to the uninitiated could be a bit problematic, so > again I'd suggest 'Use it to power your mobile phone,....,'. > -1 I'd go with Nemo-power, as it is a dynamically applicable compound word (noun "Nemo-power" as in "flower-power" ;) and verb "to Nemo-power sth.") Since we went for the mysterious tea metaphor (for those who don't know), the newbie landers should inquire what "to Nemo-power sth." means, if they don't understand it. -> "if you got it to make tea,.." > -1 Grammatically incorrect: either use "Type 2" conditional or the "zero" conditional. Since Type 2 refers to an unlikely condition - it's antipropaganda! :)) -- source http://www.edufind.com/english/grammar/if_conditional1.php Thus I support whoever changed it away from mold: "if you get it to make tea..." > users the merrier. The more feedback the better. >> >> It's fun, we're excited and a friendly community. Interested? Join us >> at IRC http://webchat.freenode.net/?channels=#nemomobile or leave a >> comment here. Let's influence the future of mobile, together! >> >> > 'It's fun and we're a friendly community. " should be better. (drop > the excitement altogether) > > +1 Cheers, Simonas -Sivan >
