I strongly suggest that you consult a lawyer to find out what your
options are and to make sure you protect yourself. I would think the
law is different for a public dance compared to a private dance/club.
I also suggest that you do a written contract with him so that there
is no confusion. I once convinced him to stop a particular behavior.
The next week he was doing it again. When I reminded him of our
conversation the week before he responded "oh, that was for last
weeks dance"
Orin
Oy ...
First thanks to all for their support and information , both on this
list and off-list .. I will be following up independently with those
that e-mailed me in the next few days .
Yes it is the same person that caused so much trouble up in the Boston area...
We are currently working on outreach to any dancers effected ( At
least those that we can contact and are willing to talk to us about
this sensitive issue)
So now we are on the horns of an ethical dilemma , or many different
but related ones .. :-(
Should this person get the same treatment that someone with no
history of harassing behavior should reasonably expect to receive ?
Should he be "talked to" about his actions and "given a chance to change" ?
Should a "stepped" ban be considered ? ( Say ban for two months now
, and "probation" after ? )
Should any consideration be given to our not having had a clearly
written and posted set of "rules" ?
Btw we are working on a "policy" now and I have read every dance
organization policy on the subject that I can find . I suspect that
the object of such rules or policy should be to make the dancers
comfortable ( new and old ) and provide recourse to the dance
community if someone violates the folkways of the community .. It
might be better to encourage communication within the more
experienced dancers in the community and get them to let the new
dancers know through words and deeds what is acceptable , what is
not and how to tell the difference..
Thoughts ?
Rgds Q
Ps Perry ( our american dance chair ) will be at NEFFA this weekend
, If anyone has any personal experiences about this problem please
let him know.
While there are things to be said for having a code of conduct (and
my organization does have one),
having one in place is neither necessary nor sufficient for dealing
with this person.
Is it possible to have a comforting female organizer get in touch
with some of the "disappeared" women
and discuss what's happened with them? This may help assure them
that the organization cares
about their comfort and safety and that of the dancers who
continue, and will also help to establish
how far over the boundaries his behaviors have gone, which might
also help you to decide whether
the guy needs a talking to and careful watching with banning in
reserve, or just immediate banning.
(Or whether the women not coming back to contra is all an
unfortunate coincidence.)
-- Alan
On 4/21/2014 1:06 PM, Quintin Aspin wrote:
Down here in Baltimore we are having a problem with a dancer who
seems to be harassing young ladies , He seems particularly fond of
monopolizing their dances if he can , then moves on to sending
e-mails and giving small gifts ... Shortly there after these
unfortunately targeted newcomers seem to stop coming to the dance ...
They do not complain to anyone in charge , they just disappear from
the dance community ..
It is a situation that I , as president of BFMS , only recently
became aware of , but in retrospect it seems to have been happening
to some extent since he moved down from the Boston area .
If this is a "new" behavior and he is amenable to change I will
either talk to him , or suggest the American dance chair has a few
words with him ... But if , as I now suspect , he was doing this same
behaviors in the Boston area perhaps firmer action might be needed .
There was , in fact , a discussion over on the callers list about a
dancer in the Boston area that seems eerily reminiscent of the
situation here ..
If any of the Boston area dance folks know of whom I speak , or if he
was banned from any dances up there it would be enormously helpful if
you could send me an e-mail with just the first name of the gent in
question ....
You can send it to my regular e-mail ( the one I am subscribed to
this list ) or to be at
President ( at ) bfms.org ...
A thousand thanks from me and from a lot of dancers who hopefully
will not have to find out first hand about which they should be
thankful ...
Rgds Quintin
Ps I have looked at all the contra dance "codes of conduct" I can
find and we are having a getting to get one set up here ....
Hopefully not shutting the gate after the horse ... etc..
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