We have a user who is facing disciplinary action for over-use of the Internet. He is defending himself, and some of the points he has risen truly make me aware of the fact "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing"...
He claims that, since he uses Firefox, and Microsoft ISA Server is, in his words, "*optimized for use with Internet Explorer and Citrix*", that the records of his web browsing cannot be accurate, as he was not using Internet Explorer. He also claims that when using VPN from home, as he was on a "*dual-processor Mac*", that the timings recorded for his Internet usage are inaccurate, as the Mac "*works faster and more efficiently than Windows machines, and henceforth creates a skew in time that cannot be accurately recorded by Windows or Microsoft software*" Finally, he has named the restrictions on his work machine as a contributory factor towards his over-use of the Internet. "*The processing time used by the technologies deployed at work, such as Group Policy, AppSense, and ISA Server, create an inaccurate representation of my browsing time, as the pages load and unload slower than they would on, for instance, my dual-processor Mac, therefore the evidence exhibited is inaccurate and inadmissible*" I hope he does not manage to convince the people on this tribunal that he actually knows what he is talking about. -- "On two occasions...I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ****** IMPORTANT INFORMATION/DISCLAIMER ***** This document should be read only by those persons to whom it is addressed. If you have received this message it was obviously addressed to you and therefore you can read it, even it we didn't mean to send it to you. However, if the contents of this email make no sense whatsoever then you probably were not the intended recipient, or, alternatively, you are a mindless cretin; either way, you should immediately kill yourself and destroy your computer (not necessarily in that order). Once you have taken this action, please contact us.. no, sorry, you can't use your computer, because you just destroyed it, and possibly also committed suicide afterwards, but I am starting to digress...... * * The originator of this email is not liable for the transmission of the information contained in this communication. Or are they? Either way it's a pretty dull legal query and frankly one I'm not going to dwell on. But should you have nothing better to do, please feel free to ruminate on it, and please pass on any concrete conclusions should you find them. However, if you pass them on via email, be sure to include a disclaimer regarding liability for transmission. * * In the event that the originator did not send this email to you, then please return it to us and attach a scanned-in picture of your mother's brother's wife wearing nothing but a kangaroo suit, and we will immediately refund you exactly half of what you paid for the can of Whiskas you bought when you went to Pets** ** At Home yesterday. * * We take no responsibility for non-receipt of this email because we are running Exchange 5.5 and everyone knows how glitchy that can be. In the event that you do get this message then please note that we take no responsibility for that either. Nor will we accept any liability, tacit or implied, for any damage you may or may not incur as a result of receiving, or not, as the case may be, from time to time, notwithstanding all liabilities implied or otherwise, ummm, hell, where was I...umm, no matter what happens, it is NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, OUR FAULT! * * The comments and opinions expressed herein are my own and NOT those of my employer, who, if he knew I was sending emails and surfing the seamier side of the Internet, would cut off my manhood and feed it to me for afternoon tea. * ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to listmana...@lyris.sunbeltsoftware.com with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin
