LOL * *
*ASB* *http://about.me/Andrew.S.Baker* *Harnessing the Advantages of Technology for the SMB market… * On Fri, Jul 1, 2011 at 12:52 PM, Free, Bob <r...@pge.com> wrote: > Sounds to me like he drank so much of the Apple juice it has given him > cranial and oral diarrhea.**** > > ** ** > > “I can’t possibly be guilty of malfeasance, I use a Mac, it’s all that > Microsoft stuff causing me to appear to be a slacker!”**** > > ** ** > > ** ** > > ** ** > > *From:* Erik Goldoff [mailto:egold...@gmail.com] > *Sent:* Friday, July 01, 2011 7:19 AM > *To:* NT System Admin Issues > *Subject:* Re: OT: Amusing legal stuff**** > > ** ** > > depends on what the definition of 'is' is .... **** > > **** > > what a TOOL !**** > > **** > > I say if he can provide empirical evidence or even officially recorded > precedence he should be set free, otherwise DOUBLE his punishment as a > bullsh*t penalty !!!**** > > > > **** > > On Fri, Jul 1, 2011 at 9:58 AM, James Rankin <kz2...@googlemail.com> > wrote:**** > > We have a user who is facing disciplinary action for over-use of the > Internet. He is defending himself, and some of the points he has risen truly > make me aware of the fact "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing"... > > He claims that, since he uses Firefox, and Microsoft ISA Server is, in his > words, "*optimized for use with Internet Explorer and Citrix*", that the > records of his web browsing cannot be accurate, as he was not using Internet > Explorer. > > He also claims that when using VPN from home, as he was on a "*dual-processor > Mac*", that the timings recorded for his Internet usage are inaccurate, as > the Mac "*works faster and more efficiently than Windows machines, and > henceforth creates a skew in time that cannot be accurately recorded by > Windows or Microsoft software*" > > Finally, he has named the restrictions on his work machine as a > contributory factor towards his over-use of the Internet. "*The processing > time used by the technologies deployed at work, such as Group Policy, > AppSense, and ISA Server, create an inaccurate representation of my browsing > time, as the pages load and unload slower than they would on, for instance, > my dual-processor Mac, therefore the evidence exhibited is inaccurate and > inadmissible*" > > I hope he does not manage to convince the people on this tribunal that he > actually knows what he is talking about. > > -- > "On two occasions...I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr Babbage, if you put into > the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able > rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such > a question." > > ****** IMPORTANT INFORMATION/DISCLAIMER ***** > > This document should be read only by those persons to whom it is addressed. > If you have received this message it was obviously addressed to you and > therefore you can read it, even it we didn't mean to send it to you. > However, if the contents of this email make no sense whatsoever then you > probably were not the intended recipient, or, alternatively, you are a > mindless cretin; either way, you should immediately kill yourself and > destroy your computer (not necessarily in that order). Once you have taken > this action, please contact us.. no, sorry, you can't use your computer, > because you just destroyed it, and possibly also committed suicide > afterwards, but I am starting to digress...... ***** > > *The originator of this email is not liable for the transmission of the > information contained in this communication. Or are they? Either way it's a > pretty dull legal query and frankly one I'm not going to dwell on. But > should you have nothing better to do, please feel free to ruminate on it, > and please pass on any concrete conclusions should you find them. However, > if you pass them on via email, be sure to include a disclaimer regarding > liability for transmission.***** > > *In the event that the originator did not send this email to you, then > please return it to us and attach a scanned-in picture of your mother's > brother's wife wearing nothing but a kangaroo suit, and we will immediately > refund you exactly half of what you paid for the can of Whiskas you bought > when you went to Pets At Home yesterday. ***** > > *We take no responsibility for non-receipt of this email because we are > running Exchange 5.5 and everyone knows how glitchy that can be. In the > event that you do get this message then please note that we take no > responsibility for that either. Nor will we accept any liability, tacit or > implied, for any damage you may or may not incur as a result of receiving, > or not, as the case may be, from time to time, notwithstanding all > liabilities implied or otherwise, ummm, hell, where was I...umm, no matter > what happens, it is NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, OUR FAULT! ***** > > *The comments and opinions expressed herein are my own and NOT those of my > employer, who, if he knew I was sending emails and surfing the seamier side > of the Internet, would cut off my manhood and feed it to me for afternoon > tea. ***** > > > ** > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to listmana...@lyris.sunbeltsoftware.com with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin
