Dear Half of The Internet, As an official representative of The Internet Corporation, I would like to personally apologize for half of the Internet being down for months. Due to market fluctuations in the price of corn seed oil, the manufacturing cost of gerbil food sky rocketed. As a result, we were not able to adequately feed the immense herd of gerbils that power the Internet. We attempted to supplement the shortage of gerbil food with hummus, but the gerbils didn't go for it, considering it "too ethnic". With time running out, and customers becoming increasingly desperate to once again communicate with the other half of the Internet, we took drastic action. Working out deals with pet stores across the world, as well as the Bolivian animal trade, we managed to secure a large shipment of Guinea pigs. While fatter, slower, and notably less cute than their distant gerbil cousins, Guinea pigs are able to subsist from little more than grass and their own feces, allowing them to power the Internet at a much reduced cost. Once installed, the animals were able to bring back up half of the Internet, re-connecting half of the Internet's population. We most sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this outage may have inflicted on half of the Internet, and humbly ask for half of your forgiveness.
Sincerely, The Internet Corporation _______________________________________________ osflash mailing list [email protected] http://osflash.org/mailman/listinfo/osflash_osflash.org
