Jodi - you did just great! You gave two important pieces of information, one that was true from a medical point of view, and one that was from your heart. And you did it in a humorous way - showing, that it was OK to ask and that you were not easily embarressed. To put it inside the PLISSIT:
You gave "P" (permission) - or may already have done so in the past by your whole attitude, since he dared to ask you. You gave "LI" (limited information), about having sex with his condition. You even gave "SS" (specific suggestions) - and you chose them so wisely, that they made the "LI" more acceptable for the SO. I'm quite sure you didn't stop them from asking again - that is if I got the right feeling about the situation. One thing though: Could your client be experiencing anything like difficulties with erection or ejaculation? This would certainly contribute to his grief about losses. Might help him to be able to speak about it - and it might even have to do with some medication that could be changed, now or later. I think I would address that - e.g. tell him that it happens some- times, and then ask - for once without the SO in the room! But besides that, I don't think I'd take it any further - no "IT" (intensive therapy) on sexual grounds. But maybe on others, like their losses, grieving, anger, changed roles, if you see a need. If possible, offer both a chance to speak to you alone. Not as IT, but so questions can be asked and problems layed out in the open. Nobody can replace you there really, as only you have that much knowledge about both his condition and him/them. Any peer support available in the area? Else there are some great groups online - though I'll have to check about CVA. susanne ----- Original Message ----- From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2002 8:09 PM Subject: OT and sexuality > This doesn't come up too often in my practice - but it did recently. The > home health client , 70some male, suffered a CVA two months ago. SO 50 yr > old female, seems to have shifted her role from partner to caregiver. He > started asking me about sex, she's standing behind him shaking her head. She > wants me to tell him not safe for his heart. That isn't true of course. He > is difficult for her, will not follow through with PT and OT suggestions > between visits, refuses to bathe unless I am there ( Could do with her asst, > needs only CGA) and by both of their reports he has even hit her ( no > physical harm caused) calls for help in the night to use urinal which he > could do I, got mad and went to front door one day and just fell out of the > door down the stairs - only way he could leave house alone. So, what I said > ( go ahead and beat me up, this is really out of my area of expertise ) It's > not dangerous for him to have sex, and maybe if someone would shave and > bathe and be nice and cooperate, he might get some. SO was OK with that > response. Patient agreed verbally, but continues to be cantankerous. They > haven't brought up sex anymore with me - ( probably due to my royal failure > in this area). On my last visit SO told me his daughter needs to find > someone to stay with him some, she needs to stay at her own house some,so it > seems the relationship might be unraveling some. I'm sure he is in a lot of > grief over his losses due to this CVA, and try to address that grief, but he > is just really kind of mean to the SO -- Jody > *********��*********** Unsubscribe? Send a message to [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the message's *body*, put the following text: unsubscribe OTlist ** List messages are archived at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected] *********��***********
