----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, October 20, 2002 12:24
AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Rape by
stealth (longish)
Oh, bloody hell, this is right up my alley, so
to speak, Megan. I'm working on a script, Rapee, which is due to be at ABC
radio end of this year. Yes, it is a form of rape. I've worked with women who
have experienced dreadful things at the hands of medical practitioners who get
away with all sorts of abuse because of this kind of silence. I'm exploring
all kinds of rape, though it starts off with a pack rape in which I, at the
age of 19, was the rapee. The very fact that the English language has a word
for the perpetrator that empowers him(/her), but the only word for someone who
has been raped is 'victim'. 'Rapist' actually empower; 'victim' keeps the
person as a victim. So I invented the word Rapee, which enables the rapee to
make the step from victim to survivor, then further to Thriver (another word I
had to invent, as there's no word for someone who thrives), then another step
beyond Thriver is Triumpher (courtesy of my extraordinary friend, Beverley
Searle). So the actual steps are from Victim to Survivor to Thriver and
eventually to Triumpher. How do I know this works? Because I've been there and
done that.
It can take a hellishly long time to acknowledge
any form of rape. Under the circumstances you describe here, I can imagine how
it would feel. Yes, your woman would feel she's been raped.
She has been. If there's no support for her,
that's another dreadful indictment on our society and I for one would be
supportive of her.
That doctor needs to be brought to account. He
needs to be made aware of what's going on, of what he's done (and one can only
speculate about how regularly he does this kind of
'intervention').
Well, you've really got me fired up, Megan! If
you want to ring me, my number's (08) 8333 2762. I'd like to include this type
of case (obviously the case would be anonymous), in the radio script.
How many sexual assault workers
does it take to change a light globe?
A whole world full -- it's such a
bloody big globe.
Hugs and strength to you, the woman, her man and
the bub,
Aviva
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, October 19, 2002 10:00 PM
Subject: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish)
Can I burrow some wisdom from the list?
I have just visited
my friend and her new baby in hospital. Her doctor
suggested she be induced
a week early because her baby was looking like
being a good 9lb plus?(her
first was 9lb). She trusted his wisdom and went
ahead, having gels late
evening and the following morning, nothing
happening. At 1pm he broke her
waters. This bit I am appaled at. He has very
large hands, and the agony it
caused her was awful, even to the point of
screaming at him to stop. He
didn't. Eventually labour started and late that
evening with the aid of an
epidural she birthed a lovely little boy,
weighing only 8lb5oz. Mum and
baby doing well.
I asked her if he commented on the weight , of course he
hasn't and they
don't want to say anything. She was induced for no good
reason. She
described the ARM as what she imagines being raped would feel
like, (I guess
physically and emotionally) this will also not be passed on
to him.
I feel that she was raped and there is nothing I can do about it. I
can't
force her to acknowledge what happened, her and hubby are relatively
happy
and she has a beautiful baby that neeeds her. It is safer for them to
think
of it as a medical procedure because if you acknowledge it as rape,
who is
going to help them deal with it all. How many women and men
experience this?
This doctor will never know how he made her feel and can
continue to
practice like this because the silence says it is OK. I am so
frustrated and
sad that she had to experience it at all.
It
reinforces my belief in NMAP and the need for women to have the very
best
of care.
thanks, I just needed to vent off, my husbands ears
are tired,
Megan.
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