Re: [ozmidwifery] Ode to a mammogram

[Aviva Sheb'a]

I've taken the liberty of altering a line that doesn't quite work, see below...and another comment at the end. aviva The copy Pinky posted was missing a line - this is a better formatted version - shows you the power of Google. This was the first result back when I searched for "Ode to a Mammogram" --------------------------------------------------------- For years and years they told me,  "Be careful of your breasts." Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, and give them monthly tests. So, I heeded all their warnings.....and protected them by law.... Guarded them very carefully, and a bra I always wore. After 10 years of careful care, the doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram to look inside that clump. "Stand up very close," the nurse said, as she got my tit in line, "And tell me when it hurts," she said.  "Ah, yes....that's just fine." She stepped upon a pedal....I could not believe my eyes, A plastic plate was pressing down....My boob was in a vice.... My skin was stretched and stretched from way up by my chin, And my poor tit was being squashed to Swedish pancake thing...... Excruciating pain I felt, within it's vice-like grip, A prisoner in this vicious thing.....My poor defenseless tit...... "Take a deep breath"  she said to me.  Who does she think she's kidding? My chest is smashed in her machine, I can't breathe and woozy I am getting! "There, that was good" I heard her say, as the room was slowly swaying. "Now let's get the other one."........"Lord have mercy," I was praying. It squeezed me from the up and down, it squeezed me from both sides, I'll bet she never has this done to HER tender little hide. If I had no problem when I first came in, I surely have one now...... If there had been a cyst in there, it would have popped Ker-Pow! This machine was made by a MAN, of this I have no doubt..... I'd like to get his balls in there.....for months he'd go WITHOUT! ------------------------- Brian White Step Two Designs Pty Ltd Knowledge Management Consultancy, SGML & XML Phone: +612-93197901 Web:   http://www.steptwo.com.au/ Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Content Management Requirements Toolkit 112 CMS requirements, ready to cut-and-paste Comment: For nearly 20 years I've worn no bra unless I have to impress someone who just wouldn't understand, or I'm dancing (and not always then either). To me, if you stop the breasts from moving, you're also blocking the lymph nodes. My theory has been supported in the British Medical Journal, that wearing bras is a contributing factor in breast cancer. Also, for women well-endowed (I wear a 38G), having breasts hang off your trapezius muscles with a tighter than skin tight harness around the torso is most unkind to neck, shoulders, back, you name it. Shocker of a contraption the old titty-truss. They do make great handbags, though. Aviva