Hi Jo,
I feel sad that the only 'solutions' offered are letting babies cry -I also
have an enormous problem with avoiding eye contact I have seen several
babies lately whose mums have been concerned (worried and upset re bonding)
because bubs are avoiding making eye contact with mum -babies make great eye
contact with dad ( who isnt doing settling/ sleep training)and have found
babies making direct eye contact and smiling at me as I talk to their
parents - I would never suggest to a mum that she had done anything 'wrong'
, but each time have discovered mum has been using a method of avoiding eye
contact with bub to give clear sleep messages - as advocated by lots of
sleep trainers. Im finding a lot of mums using The Contented Little baby
book by Gina Ford (Childless english nanny)
I find this really upsetting -isnt it precious to have a tiny bub look at
you and smile in the dead of night? How would we feel if our partners
deliberately avoided eye contact as we tried to engage?
Hang in there JO - there are gentle gradual ways to remove a dummy if you
want -Think in terms of "gradually with love" If you are ok about it dont
worry - lots of babies give up dummies by themselves later in the first
year - very few seem to naturally self settle before 4 months anyway.
A dummy is apparently best out by a year because of teeth formation/
distortion but that leaves plenty of time to make changes - there is no need
to make a baby cry it out.
Pinky
----- Original Message -----
From: "JoFromOz" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au>
Sent: Saturday, October 01, 2005 12:17 PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Pinky McKay - an amazing woman
Pinky McKay wrote:
thanks Janet - Brenda and I have "made up" and are speaking civilly to
each other re the dilemma of confused identity and schedules versus
mother support.
I am currently writing a new book on infant sleep - all sleep stories/
memories/ anecdotes - welcome.
Better clarify - I will not be advocating parent directed feeding,
controlled crying or leaving babies to cry it out.
please email me offline if you want to share
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Thanks,
Pinky
My CHN yesterday suggested I do a 'form of controlled crying' to get my
4mo off his dummy for settling. I could only nod politely, thinking "HELL
NO!". I'd really like to have him not use it (he only uses it for going
to sleep), as sometimes that's the only thing waking him up - the fact
that it's fallen out (again!). But I'm not going to punish him for
wanting it. She said "just go in, pat pat pat, no eye contact, leave"
Umno.
Jo (Mum to Will, 4 months old)
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