Re: [ozmidwifery] pregnancy

[Barbara Glare & Chris Bright]

Hi,   Not quite the same, but my mother was 9 months pregnant when she died of a heart attack at the age of 36.  The baby she carried died - we lived in the country, and she left 5 children.  At 14 I was the eldest.  My youngest sister was two at the time and is now pregnant and due in Feb, so brings up many strange feelings.  Maybe if you get some replies, this will help me with my sister as well.    On another tangent, I spoke with a women about this a while ago.  She was a midwife herself.  Her mother died during childbirth.  She was listening to a presentation on birth and bonding at a conference one day when she suddenly and unexpectedly found herself crying.  Although her father had remarried by the time she had conscious memories and she regarded that woman as her mother she realised that you never get over losing your mother, even if you can't remember it consciously.  And the grief and loss of being that little baby all alone with no mother was profound even after 40 yrs or so.   For me, I never feared birth or labour.  But I found one-to-one midwifery care to be vital in this. I had 3 lovely births and 4 long and nurturing breastfeeding experiences and I think it has all been very healing. I know I'm feeling just a tad nervy about my son reaching 14 - the year my experience of being mothered ended - nothing we can't sort out, but just a weird feeling that I'm really moving into unchartered territory.   Barb     ----- Original Message ----- From: Julie Clarke To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au Sent: Tuesday, September 19, 2006 4:39 PM Subject: [ozmidwifery] pregnancy Hi ozmid wise women, I have just become acquainted with a woman who is pregnant and in a brief conversation she informed me that her mother died during childbirth whilst giving birth to her. I don’t know anymore than this for now as the opportunity to ask further questions didn’t rise. I cannot help but think about what this might feel like to this pregnant woman and I wondered if anyone else on this list has encountered this situation before and if you could share some words of wisdom. My heart really goes out to her and if I get the chance in future conversations I would really like to be able to help her in a sensitive way. Any thoughts? Warm hug Julie