Re: [ozmidwifery] pregnancy

[Andrea Quanchi]

I have had a client whose mother died  following the birth of her younger brother. She was four years old and home alone with her mother 2-3 days after giving birth when her mother unable to get off the couch sent Mandy to get a neighbor.  She claims to have no conscious memory of the incident but after having been with her through four pregnancies and births it definitely had an effect.  It took till the fourth pregnancy for her to allow herself to grieve for her mother something she had never been allowed to do. She learnt as a little girl not to talk about it or cry because it upset her Dad and Grandmother. Finally during her last pregnancy she rang me one day and said she needed to see me and sat at my dining room table and said "I want my Mum" and then cried and cried for nearly two hours. She then kept crying for nearly two weeks, for no apparent reason but just let herself do it. I think it was thirty years of tears coming out.  After this episode her physical symptoms ( she had had terrible gastritis requiring medication throughout each pregnancy and dependent oedema causing carpel tunnel etc) went away and she finally got the pregnancy glow that I had never seen before. She had her empowering birth that she had been seeking and is cruising as the mother of four under six.  Andrea Quanchi On 19/09/2006, at 4:39 PM, Julie Clarke wrote: Hi ozmid wise women, I have just become acquainted with a woman who is pregnant and in a brief conversation she informed me that her mother died during childbirth whilst giving birth to her. I don’t know anymore than this for now as the opportunity to ask further questions didn’t rise. I cannot help but think about what this might feel like to this pregnant woman and I wondered if anyone else on this list has encountered this situation before and if you could share some words of wisdom. My heart really goes out to her and if I get the chance in future conversations I would really like to be able to help her in a sensitive way. Any thoughts? Warm hug Julie