>He paints with light! Excellent! And right on cue, haven't posted this for ages. 60's British humour - a must read :-)
Cheers, Cotty Part 1 (see part 2 email for continuation) The Publicity Photograph by Alan Simpson and Ray Galton transcribed from the long play record Pieces of Hancock (NPL18054) Scenes: 1. A London street. 2. Photographic studio. 3. Mr Hancock's house. Cast: Tony Hancock......minor celebrity Sydney James.....his agent. Kenneth Williams.....Photographer to the stars, Hilary St. Clair In Hancock's house.....Hattie Jaques and Bill Kerr [A London street, day. Tony and Syd are walking to a studio to have some new photos shot for Tony's publicity, something the irritable Mr. Hancock is not entirely happy with...] Tony: So you really think my old fan-photos have been holding me back, Syd? Syd: 'Course they have. I've been telling you that your years. And I'm a good agent, but even I've had trouble getting you work. All because of those photographs. That 'Valentino' one: diabolical, it is. Tony: My 'sheik' pose? It's my favourite! Syd: Yeah. When I started showing it around, they thought I was collecting money for Arab refugees. Tony: You sure the place we're going to is alright? Syd: Alright?? This geyser is the best theatrical photographer in London! I send all my clients to him. He charges fifty knicker a sitting. Tony: Fifty pounds for one photograph?? I want it in postcard size, not Cinerama! Fifty pounds! I made my last film for less than that! Syd: Well it's worth every penny. This boy is fabulous. He does beautiful retouch-jobs. He'll make you look like a million dollars! He'll take them wrinkles out, get rid of the crow's feet under your eyes, pin your ears back, cover up some of that loose stuff around your neck, straighten the nose out a bit, put the eyes further apart - Tony: What an attractive picture you'd paint of me. I'm having no retouching done on my photographs. I face the world as I am. Syd: Well, we'll see what he says anyway. He might have some ideas when he sees you. He's never been defeated yet. This is it: 'Hilary St. Clair'. Tony: Oh my word. I'll bet he's all corduroys and blow-waves. Syd: Shaddup - get inside! (They step into Mr. St. Clair's studio) Hilary: No no no! Don't move! Now stay just where you are...the light catches you perfectly! Tony: Who? Me? Hilary: Oh! A fusion of shere heaven! Don't move! I must take you a shere poetry of line and composition! Tony: Get away. Hilary: Just tilt the head so the sunlight dances on your hair. Tony: (mocking) Oh you mean like this? Hilary: Yes! Yes! I shall call it 'In Juxtaposition'. Tony: (still mocking) No no no no. What about: 'Textures'. Hilary: Yes! Yes! That's even better! Tony: (to Syd) I'm getting out of here. Hilary: (taking a shot) I've got it! Thank you so much. That's going to be very very sheesh. If that doesn't get First Prize at this year's 'Salon', I shall be quite overcome. Now, what can I do for you? (continued in email 'OT - Paints With Light part 2) -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List PDML@pdml.net http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
