It's a decent draft, Larry, with some solid info/advice. I'd recommend
deciding if it's going to be first-, second-, or third-person. You have
all three, sometimes in the same paragraph, and it gets confusing.
Next, I'd take a hard look at the grammar. You have run-on sentences and
frags, odd punctuation in places, none in others, and giving the whole
thing a good cleaning will help tremendously.
Third, and probably hardest, task: ponder the inner logic of the piece.
One idea should lead to the next. Exposure should lead to light, or the
other way around, and you inserted focal length between them. I think
you get the idea. Move your cleaned up sections around until the logic
lines up, and you'll have a much stronger piece of writing.
Speaking of light, the section you include is a dodge, which you already
know. Telling the audience to read another work invites them to close
yours and go elsewhere, and any piece like this needs to stress the
importance of light at some length because whatever else goes on, the
light is what makes the photo.
You have a good start here. Keep at it, and I'd like to see how it
progresses.
On 9/14/19 7:07 PM, Larry Colen wrote:
I just wrote something about becoming a better photographer, from a high level
perspective. I’d appreciate feedback on it.
It wouldn’t all fit in one email to the list, so here is part 1
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