Thanks Doug, There’s a lot of good feedback there.
> On Sep 16, 2019, at 6:43 AM, Doug Brewer <d...@dougbrewerphoto.com> wrote: > > It's a decent draft, Larry, with some solid info/advice. I'd recommend > deciding if it's going to be first-, second-, or third-person. You have all > three, sometimes in the same paragraph, and it gets confusing. > > Next, I'd take a hard look at the grammar. You have run-on sentences and > frags, odd punctuation in places, none in others, and giving the whole thing > a good cleaning will help tremendously. > > Third, and probably hardest, task: ponder the inner logic of the piece. One > idea should lead to the next. Exposure should lead to light, or the other way > around, and you inserted focal length between them. I think you get the idea. > Move your cleaned up sections around until the logic lines up, and you'll > have a much stronger piece of writing. > > Speaking of light, the section you include is a dodge, which you already > know. Telling the audience to read another work invites them to close yours > and go elsewhere, and any piece like this needs to stress the importance of > light at some length because whatever else goes on, the light is what makes > the photo. > > You have a good start here. Keep at it, and I'd like to see how it progresses. > > On 9/14/19 7:07 PM, Larry Colen wrote: >> I just wrote something about becoming a better photographer, from a high >> level perspective. I’d appreciate feedback on it. >> It wouldn’t all fit in one email to the list, so here is part 1 > > -- > PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List > PDML@pdml.net > http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net > to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow > the directions. > -- Larry Colen l...@red4est.com -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List PDML@pdml.net http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
