BODY { font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;
}John - thank you - very good advice.
Edwina
On Thu 02/08/18 3:18 PM , John F Sowa s...@bestweb.net sent:
Gary F,
The practice of avoiding the word 'you' may seem to be trivial,
but it is surprisingly effective in reducing the "heat" in
heated arguments.
GF
> Shifting the focus from the statement by “taking it
personally”
> and reacting against some imagined slight in it is a habit that
> can’t be cured by avoiding any specific word across the board.
I just went through previous notes in the "Logical Depth" thread,
and I didn't see any occurrence of the word 'you' in the remarks
by Mike B. and Gary R. They made their points effectively without
saying anything offensive to or about other subscribers.
But following are some examples from different, unidentified
senders:
Example 1
> You are confusing an individual comment with an assertion that
> the comment expresses THE TRUTH.
The phrase "you are confusing..." is always an insult. It's better
to say "That's not what I implied" and rephrase the point that was
misunderstood.
EX 2
> I’m glad to see that you now acknowledge the reality of truth.
This is a gratuitous insult. Various subscribers to Peirce-L
may quibble about the criteria in different circumstances, but
I'm sure that all of them distinguish T and F.
Ex 3
> After all, with your perspective, you would end up assuming
that...
Better: "No. The point that [insert quotation] would imply that...
Ex 4
> this once again appears to be self-defeating; you, as an
> individual, are categorically asserting that...
Better: "I disagree. The claim [quotation] would imply..."
Ex 5
> The issue you are still ignoring is that...
Better: "But note that..."
Ex 6
> And that seems to me an improvement over your previous
statements...
This is a back-handed compliment, which implies that the previous
statements were bad or misinformed. Since the writer has moved
away from that position, it's best to ignore the previous issues.
Just say "Yes. I agree."
John
-----------------------------
PEIRCE-L subscribers: Click on "Reply List" or "Reply All" to REPLY ON PEIRCE-L
to this message. PEIRCE-L posts should go to peirce-L@list.iupui.edu . To
UNSUBSCRIBE, send a message not to PEIRCE-L but to l...@list.iupui.edu with the
line "UNSubscribe PEIRCE-L" in the BODY of the message. More at
http://www.cspeirce.com/peirce-l/peirce-l.htm .
