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Hillary: I Don't Even Know What A Server Is
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Posted: 06 Mar 2015 11:53 AM PST

NEW YORK (WNB) - Hillary Clinton is reportedly close to presenting a
defense against the growing scandal that she used a private email account
based out of her home during her tenure as Secretary of State. The
presumed presidential candidate will reportedly claim ignorance about how
emails work and will deny having knowledge that email servers were located
in her personal residence.

An alleged Clinton campaign source divulged what is described as a working
draft of a forthcoming press release:

My Fellow Americans,

Recent news stories alleging I may have inadvertently utilized an email
system not fully compliant with State Department guidelines has prompted me
to mount an immediate investigation into my email system as well as the
reported potential presence of 'servers' in my residence, and what
organization or individuals may have placed them there.

As most Americans know from reading my book "It Takes A Village," I am
foremost a woman and a mother. As such, my technical knowledge essentially
begins and ends at operating a toaster. Like all females, I naturally have
no understanding of high-tech electronic devices such as servers (what's a
server?) or how emails work. All I know is when I type something on my
phone and hit 'send' it flies through the air to the person's phone I sent
it to - it's simply magic to me.

Reports that my husband and I have these servers in our home is frankly
news to me, but may possibly explain what those boxes with lights are in
our basement. I am reasonably certain they were there when we bought the
home, but if not, I will determine how they got there and punish those
responsible. I have instructed workmen to inspect them, and if found to be
servers, to disconnect them and carefully pour out and burn any emails they
may contain.

All Americans can confidently trust that I will always knowingly adhere to
all government outlines and will redouble my efforts to assure that those
in positions of authority around me do the same.

God Bless America.

Hillary R. Clinton



* [image: Clinton servers]
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