I want a divorce. --- good ... get the fuck out, bitch ... and take your religious myths with you.
On Monday, December 12, 2016 at 5:14:34 PM UTC-6, Perplexed wrote: > > > Got this in an email while ago; written by a law student... > > Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, > regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al: > > We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, > but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that > I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for > the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has > clearly run its course. > > Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on > what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We > can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own > way. > > Here is a model separation agreement: > > 1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, > each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I > am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it > should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can > effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct > and disparate tastes. > > 2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. > > 3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. > > 4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the > NRA, and the military. > > 5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, > solar, and bio-diesel. > > 6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, > however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to > move all three of them. > > 7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical > companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. > > 8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, > homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens. > > 9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and Rednecks. > > 10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .. > > 11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the > right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. > > 12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or > our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. > > 13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. > > 14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political > correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we > will no longer be paying the bill. > > 15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. > You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. > > 16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing > doctors.. > > 17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a > right. > > 18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." > > 19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to > Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World". > > 20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give > trickle up poverty your best shot. > > 21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name > and our constitution and our flag. > > 22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other > like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, > just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you > answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. > > Sincerely, > > John J. Wall > > Law Student and an American > > P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara > Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you. > > P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our > country. > > Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some > of it will start sinking in! > > **If you can't stand behind our Military, please feel free to stand in > front of them! > > > -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "PoliticalForum" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
