I am thinking a serious beat down with wipe that nasty smirk off his ugly mug. but that's just me.
On Jan 6, 4:37 pm, Travis <[email protected]> wrote: > From: Travis > Subject: Hi, Im Senator Al Franken and if You Dont Like Me, Youre a $%&! > Jerk > > Date: Tuesday, January 6, 2009, > > January 6, 2009 > Exclusive: Hi, I'm Senator Al Franken - and if You Don't Like Me, You're a > $%&! Jerk > > Pam > Meister<http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/authors/id.37/author_detail.asp> > > Hi, I'm Al Franken. Many of you may know me as the effeminate > self-affirmation expert Stuart Smalley on *Saturday Night Live*, a drunken > Amtrak baggage handler in the movie *Trading Places*, or – in my biggest > role to date – an angry talk show host on the failed (financially, not > morally or ideologically, of course) talk show network Air America. Oh, > wait, that last one wasn't a fictional character. Oh well, they say truth is > stranger than fiction. > > You may also know me from my writings, which frankly deserve to put me on > the Pulitzer Prize shortlist – or at the very least they should be included > in high school and college syllabi around the nation: *Rush Limbaugh is a > Big Fat Idiot*, *Lies (and the Lying Liars who Tell Them)* and, my favorite, > "Porn-o-Rama<http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/05/23/al-frankens-playboy-...>," > an article I wrote for that distinguished literary magazine *Playboy*. What > the (bleep) do you mean? Of course it's a literary magazine! Everyone says > they read it for the articles. > > Anyhoo, I'm just about to sign the contract for my next big gig: Senator > from the great state of Minnesota! Getting rid of – I mean, defeating Norm > Coleman wasn't easy. First, I had to actually campaign. It was really tough > answering questions at events where only one > person<http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/al_franken/2008/08/11/120880.html>showed > up. Boy, I feel sorry for that guy – just imagine the pressure he was > under! And some people may tell you I'm a bully and have a foul > mouth<http://hotair.com/archives/2008/09/12/coleman-ad-hits-franken-on-temp...>, > but I'm here to say that's simply not true. I just don't like (bleep) > conservatives – especially those who come to my > events<http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/14115411.html>and who work > for <http://demosophia.mu.nu/archives/170171.php> talk radio hosts who are > more successful and better looking than me. > > So then there was the election, and that (bleep) jerk Coleman beat me out by > a > lousy<http://hotair.com/archives/2008/11/05/minnesota-senate-recount-assured>726 > votes. 726? I thought for sure I would win with a crushing majority, > what with riding on the coattails of Obama and my D-list Hollywood fame and > all. Fortunately for me, Minnesota has this great deal where recounts are > automatic if the winner wins by a margin of less than one half of one > percent. So it now turns out that instead of losing to Coleman by less than > a thousand votes, I'm about to be named "the winnah" by 225 votes. Hey, is > it my fault that election officials might be > double-counting<http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123111967642552909.html>ballots? > I'm in it to win – I mean, I'm in it to serve the people of > Minnesota, bless their hearts. But only those Minnesotans who voted for me, > the number of which seems to be growing by the > day<http://www.minnesotademocratsexposed.com/2009/01/05/for-the-sake-of-m...> > . > > The latest, of course, is that Coleman is planning on suing. What a (bleep) > baby. Of course, I probably would have done the same thing, but it's the > principle of the thing. When Republicans win, the election is rigged. Ever > since Bushie stole the 2000 election they think they can get away with it. > Well, they haven't met the likes of Al Franken before! > > But you know what the best thing about being in the Senate will be? The > vision and dental plans. I'm sick of having glasses like Ralphie in *A > Christmas Story*, and I really am looking forward to getting a set of > choppers as impressive as Joe Biden's. > > So now I'm off to Washington, where I'll be welcomed by giants like Harry > Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. It'll be great – just like being back > on the set of SNL, but with actual power, like the ability to vote for my > own raises instead of having to wait for beleaguered radio networks to > cough<http://radioequalizer.blogspot.com/2006/01/did-al-frankens-outrageous...>up > the cash. (I have a feeling that Harry Reid will be easier to fool > than > Lorne Michaels was.) I'm also looking forward to Caroline Kennedy being > named to replace Hillary Clinton. Maybe she'll let me write about her for my > next article for *Playboy* – illustrated! Camelot, here I come. > > *Pam Meister is the editor for FamilySecurityMatters.org. * > > Click this to view on the web > :http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.2195/pub_detail.asp > > -- > *~@):~{> --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
