By eating beans for breakfast.

On Wed, Jan 7, 2009 at 5:53 AM, Ohio mark <[email protected]>wrote:

>
> how
>
> On Jan 7, 3:41 am, Travis <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Franken may actually raise the intellectual level of the senate.
> >
> > On Tue, Jan 6, 2009 at 5:01 PM, Ohio mark <[email protected]
> >wrote:
>  >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > I am thinking a serious beat down with wipe that nasty smirk off his
> > > ugly mug.  but that's just me.
> >
> > > On Jan 6, 4:37 pm, Travis <[email protected]> wrote:
> > > > From:  Travis
> > > > Subject: Hi, Im Senator Al Franken and if You Dont Like Me, Youre a
> $%&!
> > > > Jerk
> >
> > > > Date: Tuesday, January 6, 2009,
> >
> > > > January 6, 2009
> > > > Exclusive: Hi, I'm Senator Al Franken - and if You Don't Like Me,
> You're
> > > a
> > > > $%&! Jerk
> >
> > > > Pam Meister<
> > >http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/authors/id.37/author_detail.asp>
> >
> > > > Hi, I'm Al Franken. Many of you may know me as the effeminate
> > > > self-affirmation expert Stuart Smalley on *Saturday Night Live*, a
> > > drunken
> > > > Amtrak baggage handler in the movie *Trading Places*, or – in my
> biggest
> > > > role to date – an angry talk show host on the failed (financially,
> not
> > > > morally or ideologically, of course) talk show network Air America.
> Oh,
> > > > wait, that last one wasn't a fictional character. Oh well, they say
> truth
> > > is
> > > > stranger than fiction.
> >
> > > > You may also know me from my writings, which frankly deserve to put
> me on
> > > > the Pulitzer Prize shortlist – or at the very least they should be
> > > included
> > > > in high school and college syllabi around the nation: *Rush Limbaugh
> is a
> > > > Big Fat Idiot*, *Lies (and the Lying Liars who Tell Them)* and, my
> > > favorite,
> > > > "Porn-o-Rama<
> > >http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/05/23/al-frankens-playboy-..
> > > .>,"
> > > > an article I wrote for that distinguished literary magazine
> *Playboy*.
> > > What
> > > > the (bleep) do you mean? Of course it's a literary magazine! Everyone
> > > says
> > > > they read it for the articles.
> >
> > > > Anyhoo, I'm just about to sign the contract for my next big gig:
> Senator
> > > > from the great state of Minnesota! Getting rid of – I mean, defeating
> > > Norm
> > > > Coleman wasn't easy. First, I had to actually campaign. It was really
> > > tough
> > > > answering questions at events where only one
> > > > person<
> > >http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/al_franken/2008/08/11/120880.html
> > > >showed
> > > > up. Boy, I feel sorry for that guy – just imagine the pressure he was
> > > > under! And some people may tell you I'm a bully and have a foul
> > > > mouth<
> > >http://hotair.com/archives/2008/09/12/coleman-ad-hits-franken-on-temp..
> .>,
> > > > but I'm here to say that's simply not true. I just don't like (bleep)
> > > > conservatives – especially those who come to my
> > > > events<http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/14115411.html>and who
> work
> > > > for <http://demosophia.mu.nu/archives/170171.php> talk radio hosts
> who
> > > are
> > > > more successful and better looking than me.
> >
> > > > So then there was the election, and that (bleep) jerk Coleman beat me
> out
> > > by
> > > > a lousy<
> > >http://hotair.com/archives/2008/11/05/minnesota-senate-recount-assured
> >726
> > > > votes. 726? I thought for sure I would win with a crushing majority,
> > > > what with riding on the coattails of Obama and my D-list Hollywood
> fame
> > > and
> > > > all. Fortunately for me, Minnesota has this great deal where recounts
> are
> > > > automatic if the winner wins by a margin of less than one half of one
> > > > percent. So it now turns out that instead of losing to Coleman by
> less
> > > than
> > > > a thousand votes, I'm about to be named "the winnah" by 225 votes.
> Hey,
> > > is
> > > > it my fault that election officials might be
> > > > double-counting<
> http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123111967642552909.html
> > > >ballots?
> > > > I'm in it to win – I mean, I'm in it to serve the people of
> > > > Minnesota, bless their hearts. But only those Minnesotans who voted
> for
> > > me,
> > > > the number of which seems to be growing by the
> > > > day<
> > >http://www.minnesotademocratsexposed.com/2009/01/05/for-the-sake-of-m..
> .>
> > > > .
> >
> > > > The latest, of course, is that Coleman is planning on suing. What a
> > > (bleep)
> > > > baby. Of course, I probably would have done the same thing, but it's
> the
> > > > principle of the thing. When Republicans win, the election is rigged.
> > > Ever
> > > > since Bushie stole the 2000 election they think they can get away
> with
> > > it.
> > > > Well, they haven't met the likes of Al Franken before!
> >
> > > > But you know what the best thing about being in the Senate will be?
> The
> > > > vision and dental plans. I'm sick of having glasses like Ralphie in
> *A
> > > > Christmas Story*, and I really am looking forward to getting a set of
> > > > choppers as impressive as Joe Biden's.
> >
> > > > So now I'm off to Washington, where I'll be welcomed by giants like
> Harry
> > > > Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. It'll be great – just like
> being
> > > back
> > > > on the set of SNL, but with actual power, like the ability to vote
> for my
> > > > own raises instead of having to wait for beleaguered radio networks
> to
> > > > cough<
> > >http://radioequalizer.blogspot.com/2006/01/did-al-frankens-outrageous..
> > > .>up
> > > > the cash. (I have a feeling that Harry Reid will be easier to fool
> > > > than
> > > > Lorne Michaels was.) I'm also looking forward to Caroline Kennedy
> being
> > > > named to replace Hillary Clinton. Maybe she'll let me write about her
> for
> > > my
> > > > next article for *Playboy* – illustrated! Camelot, here I come.
> >
> > > > *Pam Meister is the editor for FamilySecurityMatters.org. *
> >
> > > > Click this to view on the web :
> > >
> http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.2195/pub_detail.asp
> >
> > > > --
> > > > *~@):~{>
> >
> > --
> > *~@):~{>
> >
>


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