how On Jan 7, 3:41 am, Travis <[email protected]> wrote: > Franken may actually raise the intellectual level of the senate. > > On Tue, Jan 6, 2009 at 5:01 PM, Ohio mark <[email protected]>wrote: > > > > > > > I am thinking a serious beat down with wipe that nasty smirk off his > > ugly mug. but that's just me. > > > On Jan 6, 4:37 pm, Travis <[email protected]> wrote: > > > From: Travis > > > Subject: Hi, Im Senator Al Franken and if You Dont Like Me, Youre a $%&! > > > Jerk > > > > Date: Tuesday, January 6, 2009, > > > > January 6, 2009 > > > Exclusive: Hi, I'm Senator Al Franken - and if You Don't Like Me, You're > > a > > > $%&! Jerk > > > > Pam Meister< > >http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/authors/id.37/author_detail.asp> > > > > Hi, I'm Al Franken. Many of you may know me as the effeminate > > > self-affirmation expert Stuart Smalley on *Saturday Night Live*, a > > drunken > > > Amtrak baggage handler in the movie *Trading Places*, or – in my biggest > > > role to date – an angry talk show host on the failed (financially, not > > > morally or ideologically, of course) talk show network Air America. Oh, > > > wait, that last one wasn't a fictional character. Oh well, they say truth > > is > > > stranger than fiction. > > > > You may also know me from my writings, which frankly deserve to put me on > > > the Pulitzer Prize shortlist – or at the very least they should be > > included > > > in high school and college syllabi around the nation: *Rush Limbaugh is a > > > Big Fat Idiot*, *Lies (and the Lying Liars who Tell Them)* and, my > > favorite, > > > "Porn-o-Rama< > >http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/05/23/al-frankens-playboy-.. > > .>," > > > an article I wrote for that distinguished literary magazine *Playboy*. > > What > > > the (bleep) do you mean? Of course it's a literary magazine! Everyone > > says > > > they read it for the articles. > > > > Anyhoo, I'm just about to sign the contract for my next big gig: Senator > > > from the great state of Minnesota! Getting rid of – I mean, defeating > > Norm > > > Coleman wasn't easy. First, I had to actually campaign. It was really > > tough > > > answering questions at events where only one > > > person< > >http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/al_franken/2008/08/11/120880.html > > >showed > > > up. Boy, I feel sorry for that guy – just imagine the pressure he was > > > under! And some people may tell you I'm a bully and have a foul > > > mouth< > >http://hotair.com/archives/2008/09/12/coleman-ad-hits-franken-on-temp...>, > > > but I'm here to say that's simply not true. I just don't like (bleep) > > > conservatives – especially those who come to my > > > events<http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/14115411.html>and who work > > > for <http://demosophia.mu.nu/archives/170171.php> talk radio hosts who > > are > > > more successful and better looking than me. > > > > So then there was the election, and that (bleep) jerk Coleman beat me out > > by > > > a lousy< > >http://hotair.com/archives/2008/11/05/minnesota-senate-recount-assured>726 > > > votes. 726? I thought for sure I would win with a crushing majority, > > > what with riding on the coattails of Obama and my D-list Hollywood fame > > and > > > all. Fortunately for me, Minnesota has this great deal where recounts are > > > automatic if the winner wins by a margin of less than one half of one > > > percent. So it now turns out that instead of losing to Coleman by less > > than > > > a thousand votes, I'm about to be named "the winnah" by 225 votes. Hey, > > is > > > it my fault that election officials might be > > > double-counting<http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123111967642552909.html > > >ballots? > > > I'm in it to win – I mean, I'm in it to serve the people of > > > Minnesota, bless their hearts. But only those Minnesotans who voted for > > me, > > > the number of which seems to be growing by the > > > day< > >http://www.minnesotademocratsexposed.com/2009/01/05/for-the-sake-of-m...> > > > . > > > > The latest, of course, is that Coleman is planning on suing. What a > > (bleep) > > > baby. Of course, I probably would have done the same thing, but it's the > > > principle of the thing. When Republicans win, the election is rigged. > > Ever > > > since Bushie stole the 2000 election they think they can get away with > > it. > > > Well, they haven't met the likes of Al Franken before! > > > > But you know what the best thing about being in the Senate will be? The > > > vision and dental plans. I'm sick of having glasses like Ralphie in *A > > > Christmas Story*, and I really am looking forward to getting a set of > > > choppers as impressive as Joe Biden's. > > > > So now I'm off to Washington, where I'll be welcomed by giants like Harry > > > Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. It'll be great – just like being > > back > > > on the set of SNL, but with actual power, like the ability to vote for my > > > own raises instead of having to wait for beleaguered radio networks to > > > cough< > >http://radioequalizer.blogspot.com/2006/01/did-al-frankens-outrageous.. > > .>up > > > the cash. (I have a feeling that Harry Reid will be easier to fool > > > than > > > Lorne Michaels was.) I'm also looking forward to Caroline Kennedy being > > > named to replace Hillary Clinton. Maybe she'll let me write about her for > > my > > > next article for *Playboy* – illustrated! Camelot, here I come. > > > > *Pam Meister is the editor for FamilySecurityMatters.org. * > > > > Click this to view on the web : > >http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.2195/pub_detail.asp > > > > -- > > > *~@):~{> > > -- > *~@):~{> --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. 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