Just recently, on this forum, two questions were posited for answer
and perusal of those participants whose chose to participate. They
were prescient questions deserving of an intelligent, thoughtful
response. The two questions in question were these; what is a liberal
and what is a conservative? The poster asked for well thought out,
specific descriptions of the opposite ends of the political spectrum.
As expected, as usual, I not only stepped up to the plate, I knocked
it out of the park. I put on a blinding brilliance of literary
composition rarely seen in human endeavor. {See my response below}
However, not one little, Lilliputian, liberal lackey bucked up, took
the stage and dared to proffer a positive portrayal of the affliction
that is modern liberalism. And, I think I know why. It would be much
akin to pointing out the benefits of cancer.
Liberalism has no basis in fact, reason or sanity. It is unrealistic,
antithetic to the principals and values this country was founded upon
and requires the willing suspension of disbelief, “sound familiar?”
Liberals claim to believe in our constitution and derided George W.
Bush for violating it by, “torturing” detainees currently living the
good life at the renowned vacation retreat in the tropical paradise
lovingly referred to as Club Gitmo.
Yet liberals are nuanced in their devotion to the constitution that we
conservatives consider sacrosanct. They ignore section two and
enumerated powers; they are blind to the tenth amendment limiting
federal authority to only those enumerated powers.
If they were honest with themselves, “not bloody likely” they would
admit this one truism that is the wooden stake in the heart of Looney
liberalism, it is the silver bullet, the Ark of the Covenant. Our
founders were conservative. This is inarguable and unassailable. This
country was founded on the principals of conservatism and our founding
documents reflect that; without doubt. It’s all there, in the words of
those brave men whom bore this country. Read them, learn them and
then; “if you dare”, argue your liberal point of view and open
yourself up to be rhetorically dragged behind my smoke belching SUV,
flailing in you flawed ideology. So, let’s just light this
firecracker. Liberalism is a false premise and cannot be defended,
that’s why no one even tried. Liberalism is the most spineless, yellow-
bellied ideology one can ascribe to. It requires no critical thinking
or workable solutions. One needs only to appear compassionate.
And there is the crux of the malady known as liberalism. It’s all
about feelings. These tweed jackets, pseudo-intellectuals glom on to
every Oprah moment to come down the pike and then smugly look down
their bifocals at the rest of the great unwashed as characters from
Deliverance. Yet; not one damn thing these dust bunnies have ever put
forth works. Take the war on poverty; for instance. Since 1964 we have
transferred $12TRILLION dollars from the haves, to the have not’s. Yet
poverty levels haven’t decreased. We’ve only succeeded in insuring
every Joe-No-Lunchbox has a flat screen television in his hovel.
Liberals demanded sex education in our public schools. So… what
happened? Well; we now have a society where the only virgins are ugly
sixth graders and teachers not only teach sex but also turn down the
lights and put on Sinatra for their students. The good news is that
even though little Suzy is squeezing out her twelfth rug rat those
food stamps will keep on coming. Thanks to liberals. Still; we mustn’t
examine the outcomes of liberal policies; oh no, we must only focus on
their good intentions. Well; spank my ass and call me Judy. I’m done
with letting you liberals set the premise and change the measure of
success.
You liberal piles of steaming excrement deserve both barrels and I’ve
got an itchy trigger finger. In other words; it’s time to barbeque
some ass and I’ve got the spit.
1.The energy crisis is your fault. Environmentalists, tree hugging,
“arbor perverts” and your PETA pal pundits have blocked, at every
turn, our effort to drill in ANWAR, off of our coasts and anywhere we
might conceivably increase supply. You have blocked the construction
of fuel refineries. Your useful idiots in the, “Sierra Club” have shut
down or halted more coal mines and coal power plants than can be
counted using basic math. You and your ilk have sued in federal court
to halt the construction of nuclear power plants and when you are
successful, in doing so, you run to your homes to watch Jane Fonda’s
overacting performance in, “The China Syndrome”. And you weep. Well,
let me be succinct and blaring. Get over it. We have more oil in this
country and off of our coasts than is present in the entire Middle
East. We are the Saudi Arabia of coal. We have the greatest nuclear
technology in the world. We have more natural gas in this country than
all of the hot air you’ve been bellowing for forty years.
2.You are the racists, sexists, bigots and homophobes. It is you
leftists who categorize people into groups and then attempt to make
them victims. Conservatives don’t give a rat’s rear end about a
person’s skin color, their sex or what they do in the privacy of their
bedrooms. You left leaning, Leninist liars have taken three of our
conservative dictums and completely perverted them. That being the
diabolical divergence of affirmative action, our rigidity against gay
marriage and our opposition to abortion. My over active grey matter
can easily portray these vapid portrayals for the inept pronouncements
they are. For those of you being literarily dazzled I have a question,
a most prescient one; how much time have you spent lately thinking
about my sex life? That’s how much I spent thinking about yours. If
you want to be gay, be gay. Marriage however, is a time honored
tradition and shouldn’t be adulterated. Affirmative action; we are all
created equal. No one should be granted special rights, “or denied
them” because of any distinguishing identifier. Abortion; Find a
general right to privacy in our constitution and we can talk. The
Supreme Court cannot, out of whole cloth, enumerate constitutional
text. We’ll throw in that pesky moral dilemma for good measure.
3.It is you that has cheapened what our founders born. Were it so,
that the founders of this country existed today, I’m just saying;
There would be a lot of liberals, limply lying at the end of a short
rope strung from a tall tree. The constitution you so readily hide
behind when spouting your socialist rhetoric is the same constitution
you treat as, “Charmin” three ply when you stumble across text you
find disagreeable. You cite the separation of church and state, where
one does not exist. You support limitations on our second amendment.
The bastardization of our tenth amendment has your fingerprints all
over it. You demand more and more from federal government instead of
abiding personal responsibly and rugged individualism. Reflect, if you
dare and ponder this; were our founders conservative or liberal?
Genuine reflection should make you reach for pharmaceuticals in vast
quantities. Prozac anyone?
4.For what you have done to our children there will be a special place
in hell. Loony liberals have been running our educational system for
40 years. Juxtapose that statistic with our falling international
scholastic test scores America and her children have long endured. The
liberal educational system is but one of the few endeavors wherein we
accept greater and greater financing without positive result. In
Washington D.C. the taxpayers fund each student to the sum of
$25,000.00 per student, per year. Yet, 50% still do not graduate. We
are told, more money is needed, while, in truth, what is needed is to
run these liberal, tweed jacket nerds into the ocean, at high tide. I
have a deep faith Mr. Jefferson would approve.
5.You despise the poor. You must, look what you have done to them. The
war on poverty began in 1964 by the real idiot from Texas. Trumpeted
by leftists it has decimated inner cities and many small towns. You
have taken from those you’ve sought to help all self sufficiency,
independence, self reliance and dignity god gave them. You have made
poverty just comfortable enough to abide in. Benjamin Franklin said
that poverty should be uncomfortable and people should be run from it.
You have made poverty cozy, ensuring it will be endured.
6.If it’s broken, you broke it. The listing of your liberal
transgressions is endless. That statement is all encompassing and
meant to be so. By nature, conservatives have a deep reverence for our
constitution, for the sacrifice of our founders, for American
exceptionalism, manifest destiny and hold unshakable beliefs that God
so endowed this country. So, by default, if it’s broken, liberals
broke it. Happy Trails.
Conservative Springfield Staff Writer
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