On 11/8/17 5:22 PM, Ben Finney wrote:
Jon Ribbens<jon+use...@unequivocal.eu> writes:
On 2017-11-08, Ben Finney<ben+pyt...@benfinney.id.au> wrote:
I also think Jon had cause to bristle somewhat at the characterisation.
I don't think Jon was attacked by Steve's remark, but I do sympathise
with the instinct to feel a criticism as an attack.
Steve called me arrogant, that's an attack
To say that someone is being arrogant simply is not an attack, and I
really want you to see that.
Ben, this idea is really stupid!
Be honest: when you read what I just wrote, did you feel a dispassionate
discussion starting, or did you feel a bit attacked?
I think it is unrealistic to expect people to be completely dissociated
from the ideas they hold.
Second, now you want us to agree that calling someone arrogant isn't an
attack? Perhaps you are able to discuss your own behavior this way, but
I assure you, most people are not. You are holding up this kind of
distance from yourself as an ideal we should all strive for. To me it
seems like a Dr.-Spock-like separation from feelings. People don't work
this way.
How many paragraphs of close parsing are we going to twist ourselves
through, just to avoid saying, "Yeah, sorry, that went a bit far. I
didn't want to alienate you in the pursuit of a demonstration of my own
correctness."
--Ned.
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