Its always good to vent! I used to bottle things up for weeks and get grumpier and grumpier. I did not have school as a diversion of sorts. I read all of your post so got all of your frustrations thru me and out the door! (did that make sense?) Hang in there and take it by steps. As you mark off one step after another in a while you will see that you have conquered a large hurdle!
Now I try to talk things out before they bog me down too much. My attendants use me as a pschycologist (sp?) and I tell them some things too. But this list is good to. Sometimes its easier for me to write than talk--it usually is a rambling mess, but at least its out. Well, now I need to search an airline website to find more info on when and what it will take to ship my service dog prospect to me from Seattle. What halted everything was the cargo office is closed on the weekends! Gads,don't they know thats usually when people "don 't" work and can get to the airport! Plus, I cannot prepay. The lady shipping her has to pay, which means she needs to weigh the dog and crate-- tell me the total-- then I can find out how much it is, then I need to zip her some money quickly. Little steps at a time, not as big as your hurdles, but enough to be agravating! Oh, and rearrange someone to drive me! My aides all work and/or go to school during the week. take care, Dana and ? [EMAIL PROTECTED] ----- Original Message ----- From: "Stacy Harim" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Quad-List" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, September 20, 2004 9:30 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] ranting I'm enjoying it because now I can keep up. I'm taking 3 online classes and barely keeping up because of the damn doctors and if it's not them, I have my family driving me nuts. I have a stupid 24 year old brother that bugs the hell out of me. He is always needing something. Like I don't have enough problems of my own. I am going through a bad time in my life. I think this is probably the most sad I have been in I don't know how long. I'm just going to remove my profile off of yahoo because all it has done was attract weird men that IM me even when I'm invisible (which is pretty much all the time) These weird men tell me they are attracted to women in wheelchairs. I ask why, they tell me they don't know. I get it out of them and it turns out the freaks think skinny atrophyed legs are sexy. Ever since Mike broke it off with me, that is all I have been having happen to me. Not one normal person. I'm not counting on finding an internet relationship at all. I would opt for a relationship with someone nearby in a heart beat, but I can't freakin get around to meet anyone. My only hope for transportation was taken away from the bus system down here. Yup, finally doing door to door, however, there is a long ass waiting list because they can't handle it all at once. And the one I was using was only for school anyways. Online works great for me now because of the doctors appointments and trying to heal these pressure sores on my feet. The van I am supposed to get is taking forever because the guy that is giving it to me, decided to quit his job before his got done and voc rehab is paying for it, so after a little bit of time, he went back to work long enough to get the van. I have to wait for the whole process after my driving training for the DMV to say it's ok that I have my license and I am told that takes months. When they do say it is ok, I have to wait for this yahoo to get here from Baltimore to teach me all the crap to take the test and that can take another couple of months unless I can get to Baltimore (Fat chance on that) On top of everything, my neighbor who is now my friend, is getting married and I don't even have a date. Believe me I am not meeting anyone there because they are having a small wedding and all their friends are coupled up and their siblings are way out of my age range. I can't buy them a gift because I have zero dollars to buy them anything with. I have not felt this way since being put in this god for saken piece of transportation I have to live in. I live on wheels but can't freakin go anywhere. I'm so sick of being disabled, I can't see straight. The spasms are getting worse, but not much I can do until my sores heal which I am sure are causing them. I went almost a year without a UTI and then I got 2 of them back to back. Then I have to deal with my freakin brother coming over and acting like a spoiled rotten little boy who is 24 years old because he doesn't have a place to stay. The only thing I have going for me now is school and the hopes that I will be driving sometime in the future. I know this isn't rock bottom, but it sure feels like it. Sorry for that all, but I have kept it bottled up all week and can honestly say that I do not have one person close to me that could even come close to understanding. Maybe I just needed to get it out, I can go to sleep and feel better sometime next week when I don't have any apt's because I have 4 doctor related ones squeezed into Mon. and Tues. Podiatrist tomorrow, Surgeon to look at the cut she put into me to remove an abscess, pain management and the foot management place to measure me for shoes that I don't have the money for. I have to go, find out how much and then ask my Dad who just bought a car, so I feel about 2 inches high for asking him because I know it won't be cheap. If only I could find a pair of shoes I know for a fact would work without tearing my feet up some more than they are. I miss pre SCI feet so much. Look at that, another tangent. I'm out of here before I keep going because I could for a lot longer. If you have read this far, thanks for putting up with my ranting and raving, Stacy p.s. how's that for quiet Tony? btw, glad you are out of the woods hurricane wise for the time being. "People who hate you do not win unless you hate them. Then you destroy yourself" ----- Original Message ----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ; [EMAIL PROTECTED]<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Sunday, September 19, 2004 8:19 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] shhhhhh, be vewwwy quiet Heyyyyy listers.....WOW, i'm shocked at how quiet it is on here!! Is everybody just suffering in silence, or is life so beautiful nutin to biatch about??? ; ) Ok, here's my rundown here in hurricane-land...First, let me say this last hurricane was the most devestating of any i've seem. And i just said that 4 weeks ago with Charlie. My evacuation plan was to go to "special needs" shelter with an air-mattress...i didn't have to thank my stars, but i read about a "...needs" shelter up in Pensacola that it sounded like HELL...no food, no power, no phone, roof blew off, thousands crowded in a gymn and no one could leave. This is prob STILL going on...what do the quads do??? It doesn't sound like a quad could survive in there.... Change of subject: I saw two documentries this weekend. One "Dear America" was letters from Vietnam with real footage. Wow, very moving, incredibly insightful....you want to really know the definition of WAR???? Then please see this movie... Too quiet on here, let's start a holy war...; )) peace....tony
