Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration

[Stacy Harim]

I do have those feelings yes. I don't understand it though because I don't have feeling in my legs, but I do in those areas. I'm not sure to what extent because I haven't 'been' with anyone since I got sick. Of course I have experimented, but don't really have any desire to and I think when or at this rate if I am with anyone, that is when I will know.   I do  have a sore on the bottom of my foot and that hurts me as well.  I don't get it.  My doctor said that the nerves to your pelvic area are the most protected on the spine so if I were to feel anywhere, it would be there.  I do get sporadic sensations on my legs but never in the same places all the time.  My doctor also told me that with my disease, it makes things very strange.  No SCI is the same, but I am very much different because of the way it happened.  I don't know if I ever explained it but my spine is very atrophied because of the disease and the damage left over from the inflammation the spine is still very much intact.  I still sweat below my injury level, but the swelling is quite bad and I have more spasticity than most spinal cord patients.   I'm having a hard time going through the holidays single. Most of my friends are married and/or have children.  I don't have hardly any family and didn't have them here for Christmas and now alone for New Years.  I find myself very left out because I don’t have anyone.  One of my best friends pretty much only does things with other couples.  Like going out to dinner, playing cards, etc.  She helps me through the waiver program, so the time we spend together is when she is here helping me out with something.  She just got in an accident and her car got totaled plus she got a broken arm.  I can't get into her new car because it's too low and awkward to transfer out of, so we don't really do anything together anymore.  It's been difficult getting through the holidays and will be glad when they are over.  I'm just not looking forward to the next 6 weeks while everyone is making their valentines day arrangements.   I am happy that everything is going well for you and Steve.  When the time is right, everything will happen naturally.  It's wonderful that he isn't pushing you into anything you are not ready to do.  Keep taking it slow.   Sorry for the book, Stacy ----- Original Message ----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Cc: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thursday, December 30, 2004 5:05 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration In a message dated 21/12/2004 04:17:36 GMT Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: I did think about going to that step, but I wasn't fixated on it.  I was content just having the closeness at the time.  It's the hugging, kissing, and cuddling that I miss so much instead of the act itself.  Hi Stacy,   I totally agree with you, even though I'm still with Steve it's the kissing, cuddles and hugs that I crave.  Although we have talked a lot lately about taking the relationship further, we've been together for 5months now so I don't think we would be rushing into it, and his been so tolorant with it all bless him!  I'm abit nervous about it all though, it's going to be the first time all round for me.  I hope this isn't a too personal question, and if it is I do apologise, but to the females especially; do you still have the sexual sensations?  I'm a bit worried that I won't be a "proper women" if I don't feel everything   Happy new year folks!   Love Smurf xxx