I have the great fortune to have a house of my own which we built seven years
ago. I live with two handicapped/retarded men who have been with me for 35
years. They can do many things with verbal directions and step by step help.
So they help me with the physical things and I help them by verbally
instructing them so they can continue to live semi independently. My youngest
daughter lives next door, my oldest daughter is 5 miles away and my son and his
wife are 5 miles away in the other direction. My youngest daughter has been my
hero since I was injured and she was only 15. She went to Santa Clara and
learned my total care so that we could continue to show horses. She has just
recently come back to being a part time caregiver for me, but we definitely
needed to break off the caregiver/client aspect for a while so we could regain
our mother daughter relationship. My oldest daughter does most of the grocery
shopping-she’s crazy, she loves it-and puts me to bed five nights a week. My
family, including my ex husband, have been very instrumental in my quest for as
much independence as I can handle, even as they do not agree with what I am
doing. The first few times after getting my Omega Trac and being able to
actually leave my property independently and motor down to the bus stop 2 miles
away they secretively followed me just to make sure I was OK J. Now they are
very blasé about the whole thing. It’s great to have family and friends
support, and we all try to work hard at keeping things in perspective and not
letting the little things get in the way of our goals. I have an agency that
supplies me with the caregiver up to 35 hours a week, and I have luckily been
able to keep most of my caregivers for a long time, a couple of them for five
years. So it is possible to go on with life in many many ways, each of us find
some way to continue. You are fortunate to have a husband that will be your
caregiver, my husband tried it and did not work for either of us so we agreed
to divorce after 22 years but we have been able to keep our friendship going
and I am very pleased that he is remarried and is happy, because I actually
enjoy making the decisions myself without having to worry if someone else will
agree. Each to our own ways. Joan, sitting in front of a fire for the first
time this year.
