Sometimes it's nice to be a silverback. Having hashed this out in 1986, my 
answer is twofold.
"Mountain bike" = fat tire knobs + (intended) location*. 

That's it. My Quickbeam has been a mountain bike for brief periods, but now 
it is not. Probably it will be again. My Bontrager is always a mountain 
bike, but I could turn it into a road bike. I've ridden it on the road, but 
never made it into a road bike.

The Quickbeam: if it has slick tires and I'm way out in the woods on a 
singletrack trail, I'm either "hardcore," or "stupid," but it's still a 
road bike. If it has fat knobbies and I'm out there, it's a "mountain 
bike." Same trail, different bike, only based on the tires. Even if some 
guy says knowledgeably to his girl, "cross bike," without noticing that 
it's fixed, it's still a mountain bike, because I'm not riding 'cross. 
Cyclocross is its own thing, and 'cross bikes are race bikes**. 
The Bontrager: has drop bars. Knobby tires. A front shock, but I've had 
rigid mountain bikes, so that's not a criterion. It is INTENDED to ride on 
dirt. I've ridden it with the lunchtime roadies, but have dropped into the 
ditch and ridden up a hill on dirt when a car wouldn't pass me. "Mountain" 
bike. 
I'm building up a Singular Gryphon, which is supposed to be a drop bar 
mountain bike, but right now I intend to ride it on the road. It's a "29er 
road bike." If I put on fat knobbies in order to ride trails, it will 
become a mountain bike. If I put on knobbies in order to look cool while 
riding around town... not a mountain bike. It would be a poseur bike. 
I have a friend's bike in my shed. She may have NEVER ridden it offroad. It 
has knobbies, and I'm about to put flat bars back on it, but it's just a 
'bike.' There's no expectation that it will get more than a mile into the 
woods, ever. "Bike."

Short story long. 
To summate: A mountain bike has fat tires and is found in the woods. 
To clarify: If you intend to ride your bike in the woods, you will optimize 
it so you can ride more confidently there. You will probably choose knobby 
tires, because they work better in the woods. Are knobbies a sign, or a 
symbol? If they are a sign, then you have a mountain bike. If they 
symbolize riding in the woods, but you do not ride there, you simply have a 
bike. Which is rad. Bikes are rad. 

*"Fat tire knobs" might have a lower width limit. "Intention" also applies 
to the manufacturer (an Ibis Mojo was always intended to be a mountain 
bike, but a Trek 820 was always intended to sell bikes to people who wanted 
mountain bikes). 
**per Ira Ryan - blew my mind.  

Philip
www.biketinker.com

On Saturday, December 7, 2013 7:11:05 AM UTC-8, ted wrote:
>
> Please help me out of my ignorance. What objective characteristics 
> distinguish a "true" mountain bike from other types of bikes?

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