Okay. Just when I thought that nothing could throw me...
How in the name of Heisenberg can these people stand up and declare themselves
to be part of this segment of non-society? If I ever meet one of them, my first
question will be, "Have you or anyone you love ever been waterboarded?" (And
I'll have a camera on hand to capture the facial expression that results...)
"Tracey de Morsella (formerly Tracey L. Minor)" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
November 7, 2007
Waterboarders Protest Negative Media Stereotypes
Angry Torturers March on Washington
Furious about what they see as negative media stereotypes about
waterboarding, a group representing the nationâs waterboarders marched
on Washington today.
The group, which calls itself the National Association of Waterboarders
and Controlled Drowners, is the largest organization of its kind,
representing over 20,000 of the nationâs waterboarders.
Waterboarders across the country have silently seethed for the past week
as members of the Senate Judiciary Committee grilled Attorney General
nominee Michael Mukasey about his views on the controversial
interrogation technique.
But after several days of hearing senators repeatedly denigrate the
practice on national television, waterboarders âhave had enough,â said
Carol Foyler, executive director of the waterboardersâ group.
âWhen senators use the words âcontrolled drowning,â people ignore the
âcontrolledâ part and focus on the âdrowningâ part,â Ms. Foyler
said.
âAs someone who spent years of training to become a licensed
waterboarder, Iâm deeply offended by this.â
Braving chilly November temperatures to make their point about the
mediaâs negative stereotyping of them, the angry torturers got some
moral support when one of their most prominent advocates, Vice President
Dick Cheney, emerged from his secure undisclosed location to address them.
The vice president received a thunderous ovation from the crowd when he
proposed that the government earmark $1.6 billion to improve the media
image of waterboarding and waterboarders.
âThereâs nothing wrong with waterboarding that a little public relations
makeover wouldnât fix,â the vice president told the crowd. âFor
starters, why not call it dunking?â
Elsewhere, faced with a Writers Guild strike, Paramount Pictures said it
would produce the second âTransformersâ film without a script, âjust
like the first one.â
www.borowitzreport.com
"There is no reason Good can't triumph over Evil, if only angels will get
organized along the lines of the Mafia." -Kurt Vonnegut, "A Man Without A
Country"
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