g_b Q&A: "Every Work Form You Fill Asks Your Marital Status"
Q&A: "Every Work Form You Fill Asks Your Marital Status" Ann Ninan interviews LESLEY ESTEVES, a queer activist http://www.ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=47877 NEW DELHI, Jul 29 (IPS) - When the New Delhi High Court amended Article 377 of the Indian Penal Code, a colonial-era law which was used to criminalise consensual homosexual relationships, on Jul. 2, it was a "life-changing moment for me," says Lesley Esteves, a journalist and queer activist based in New Delhi. For the first time, a constitutional authority spoke up "so forcefully for my community," she asserts. The ruling applies to New Delhi, but it sets a precedent for the legal establishment across the country. Already, there are attempts being made by the religious right-wing and political parties to scuttle it. IPS interviewed Esteves about being a queer woman, the judgement and heterosexuality in India. IPS: The judgement on Article 377 is a victory for basic rights to privacy, non discrimination and liberty. LESLEY ESTEVES: My community has lived under the shadow of criminalisation for 150 years. The only crimes (we) committed were refusing to adhere to gender norms laid down by one section of our society - be it in dress, speech, behaviour or choice of sexual partner. These norms were for long claimed to be sanctified by religion, the basis of their enforcement in law. These norms are nothing but prejudices, which ultimately aim to create unequal societies. The writers of the Constitution of India hoped to prevent the prejudices of one set of the Indian people from oppressing another set of people, and they wrote the protections into law through the Fundamental Rights available to all Indians. The Delhi High Court upheld that spirit of inclusiveness and tolerance for diversity, by effectively agreeing that Section 377 could no longer be used as a tool of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. IPS: What would you say about patriarchy and being queer in India? LE: A queer person is quite simply defined as any person who falls outside of, and foul of, the patriarchal notions of family and gender roles. That's why we use the word 'queer', which is a much broader term than gay or LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender). This challenge marginalises not only gay and transgender people, but also single women, single men, straight couples who want to live together and not get married, straight people who reject unequal marriage laws, straight people who reject conventional gender roles, etc. The way that conventional marriage operates, especially in the Indian context, seems to be more about resource preservation and applying privileges of citizenship to only one set of people, than about a relationship. This is seen in how most faiths, law and government regulations recognise only one family system. Only a marriage involving one man with one woman can be sanctified and accorded protection from social or economic discrimination. The queer struggle is to end this hegemony, and to enable equality for all kinds of consensual relationships, family structures and gender behaviours. It is a struggle closely reflected in the issues the women's movement also grapples with. Therefore, in metro cities like Delhi, Bombay, Lucknow and Calcutta, you notice partnerships between queer rights and women's rights groups. IPS: Can you tell me a little about yourself. LE: I have been open about my sexual identity since the age of 15, when my parents discovered I was gay. In the workplace, I wish I could have chosen otherwise, but I never wanted to be counted as heterosexual. Its not evident to most how much heterosexuality hegemonises the discourse in the workplace. Every work form you fill asks your marital status; every colleague you meet asks the same question. And of course, some colleagues have access to facilities that I dont. I cant claim medical benefits for my partner under company schemes, the way they do for their spouses. One of my very first jobs was that of a sales person for email in Bombay. Those were the days when email was a product to be sold! They asked me to leave after a couple of weeks because I refused to change the way I dress. They wanted me to dress more like a woman. My mother told me, let nobody ever tell you how you can and cant dress. So I chose to quit instead. IPS: Will the ruling open a small window even for queer women outside metro India, in less anonymous towns and smaller cities. LE: Women from all social contexts and classes in India have been trying to carve out queer existences, whether in the village or by migrating towards the big cities where there are greater chances of community support. In Delhi and Mumbai, often we have had to support couples escaping family pressure in interior Maharashtra, Uttar Pradesh, Punjab, Haryana. We fully expect such cases to rise, now that the court has sent a message to queer Indians that the courts can and will uphold their rights
g_b The GayBombay meet at Mulund last week
Rains, wadas, bears & twinks and issues that touch each of our lives .what better to spend a monsoon evening that this! J This go, the sunday meet at Mulund, involved a new approach. Since we all do have some of our own doubts, issues, which are more often than not common to all, all were asked to put their Qs on chits which would be discussed. With the 30+ guys scribbling and dropping as many issues this was one huge meet. ‘A’ took on the role of anchoring it and a mixture of fun, serious discussions, bitchy comments and all things associated with the term gay (other than ….ahem,….. u know what) the meet lasted well until 9. Some of the issues raised and the comments made by the group on these are given below in random order – the comments posted are those made by the group and are not necessarily right or wrong Guys--- do correct and post on anything missed out. 1] If you see a guy you like, how do you know he is gay? (An eternal but perennially useful one) Ø Make friends first and talk to him Ø Talk about films like Dostana and so on (thank you thank you karan for this in addition to John’s butt :-d) Ø Check if he looks at guys or girls when they pass by Ø (and the best & most practical one I found) Watch a porn together :-D Surprisingly for me, to a quick poll on how many of us look at a guy for the first time and want to talk to him for a one niter first and then maybe the rest, the minority raised their hands. Jai ho ! 2]How do you know from meeting a guy that he may be infected with HIV/ HBV/ Other STDs? How can we know if it is safe to go ahead with the guy atleast for sex? Ø One cannot look at a person and know if he has an STD Ø Some STDs may have symptoms of warts around the genitals and anus (but not necessarily) Ø There are diseases like Hepatitis B which spread through even kissing Ø Converse with a guy a bit to have an idea if he is a cheat Ø Mention some common names or friends both may be knowing Ø It is unsafe to go to someones place or call the person home at the first meet Ø If you are too cautious you will never get anyone (ouch…but yeah….true?) Ø Be comfortable with you sexual orientation first (did it mean it will help one think more clearly :-?) Ø While having sex do not use multiple condoms Ø HIV can be transmitted through any cuts/ contacts of mucosa (which in englis means semen/ blood normally) Ø In case you have got into an unsafe act, see a doc within next 48 hrs to start prevention therapy as this may help (from what I personally know, this therapy, in addition to be time bound and costly, makes life a living hell for the next one month it has to be done – better avoid the ‘uninhabited’ approach and not have this as a backup) Ø If you regularly donate blood, the blood banks will inform you in case you have Hepatitis infection Ø Govt hospitals do HIV testing free of cost. Humsafar has its unit attached to sion hospital. Private clinics also test it for a decent cost, but these do not offer any counseling in case of any issues. 3] Can a STD be transmitted through Oral Sex Ø The chances of HIV infection through oral sex are less other than if the person giving head has cuts/ bruises and ulcers in his mouth Ø Flavoured condoms are easily available and do not taste bad as the normal ones. Ø Other diseases like gonorrhea ,etc can be passed through oral sex. 4] How do I know if I am top or bottom Ø This is highly individual and depends on what each may like and fancy with the other guy Ø This liking may even change in people over period, time and person involved with. 5] How do you hide a love bite? Ø All cosmetic stores have concealers available with them. Keep a concealer the shade of your skin (and kiss away to glory :-d) . 6] What does one do if he has a crush on someone in his office Ø It will jeopardize my position in the office Ø It will be used to emotionally use one Ø Divert your mind from the person and stick to not liking him (erhow :-?) 7] We should have a trained psychologist who can answer queries and issues raised on the GB website Ø There are medical professionals who regularly do write on the list and reply to the queries. Ø There are psychologists who reply to some issues either in public or private replies for serious issues raised by the person. (In addition one may tap on the community knowledge at the mailing site and he will be guided to a friendly doc/counseller for sure by the group) 8]Is there a site where one can be safe from cheaters? Ø Sadly no such site may exist –surely not free of cost for now. Ø As it is easy to join up a site, there are bound to be chaff along with the grains Ø Look at guys he knows, common friends, chat and take a judgement 9]Why does one not get a BF, but get a one niter so easily? ( this can be an entire meet duratio
g_b Awesome !!!
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g_b hi...
hi.. pls send me mail fastly. regrds See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/
g_b Govt buys time to soothe anti-gay sentiment
Update from meeting between 3 ministers.. http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/PoliticsNation/Govt-buys-time-to-soothe-anti-gay-sentiment/articleshow/4832084.cms === NEW DELHI: The decision to ask the Union Cabinet to take a final call on the recent Delhi High Court judgement legalising adult gay sex may only help the government buy more time to soothe the angry feelings it has invoked among various religious communities. The latest move by a three-member panel comprising home minister P Chidambaram, law minister Veerappa Moily and health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad - tasked by the prime minister to formulate a view on whether Section 377 needed to be updated/scrapped - to seek a consensus within the Cabinet comes even as their own opinion is in favour of the judgement legalising sex between consenting adult homosexuals. At the meeting on Tuesday, there was broad agreement that HC judgement scrapping a particular provision of Section 377 regarding consensual gay sex between adults was “balanced”, as it had left the provisions criminalising non-consensual sex between homosexuals as well as sodomy intact. -- - Preyas For true friendship..
Re: g_b Ways to deal with homophobia
Good article. Looks like New Yorkers have not heard about Gandhigiri yet! On Wed, Jul 29, 2009 at 10:30 AM, S S wrote: > > > > Censoring other people's homophobic rants can boomrang, but cussing them > could be kosher sometimes :-) > http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/28/nyregion/28nyc.html (may require > registration) > > > -- - Preyas For true friendship..
g_b Events > Queer Azadi March 2009 > Fund-raising event - 'Dancing Queens' on Saturday, 1st Aug '09
Posting message sent by Abhijit who is on the QAM 2009 committee. (Edits by me.) Please feel free to forward. Kinnar Kasturi in association with Humsafar Trust presents 'DANCING QUEENS' (Glimpses of Bollywood's dancing divas) 'Dancing Queens' is a performance by drag queens of aamchi Mumbai. They will walk you through some of best Hindi film dance numbers filmed on Bollywood divas. The proceeds of the event will be used to (partly) meet expenses of the Queer Azaadi March to be held on 16 August 2009. QAM 2009 is a celebration of sexuality and a statement of being proud of ourselves. The march is an effort to mainstream issues of sexual minorities and work towards addressing issues of stigma and discrimination in society. Come and encourage the dancing divas. Venue and time details of 'Dancing Queens': 1 August 2009 at 6.00 pm at Kherwadi Social Welfare Community Center (Parishram Bhawan), Near Nirmal Nagar Police Station, Kherwadi, Bandra (East), Mumbai. Nearest station: Bandra. Location map for Nirmal Nagar Police Stn: http://tinyurl.com/NirmalNgrYahoo Tickets are available at: The Humsafar Trust : (Manisha / Girish) Ph: (022) 26650547 / 26673800 Humsafar CEFE : (Dyaneshwar Raut) Ph: (022) 65760357 -~--~~~~--~~--~--~--- "To know more about Queer Azadi, click the link below" http://queerazaadi.wordpress.com -~--~~~~--~~--~--~---
g_b Short Story
SHORT STORY: Kathani Aur Karni Aaj shahar ke sabhi sam-laingik NGOs ki meeting thi. Satish apne zordar speech ke baad sab se wah-waahi batorne mein busy tha. Aaj uske speech ne sab mein josh bhar diya tha. Sab log maan chuke the ki sam-laingik andolan ko ab ek nayi disha milne wali hai. Waise bhi aaj zaroorat aise hi leaders ki hai ..jo sirf baatein na karein.. kuchh karke dikhayeSatish ke speech ka saar yehi tha ki sab ko himmat karke aage aana chahiye. Usne sabse jyada is baat per zor diya tha ki is community ke sabhi logon ko apne sexual orientation ko disclose karke aage aana hoga. Jab tak numbers nahi badhenge..tab tak hamaare group ki aawaz nahi suni jayegietc etc Apni zordar presence note karwane ke baad, excited Satish ko jaise pankh laga gaye the. Apne khyaalon mein khush hota hua Satish jaise hi ghar pahuncha, dekha Daddy saamne baithe usi ka intezaar kar rahe the. Satish saham gaya aur sambhal kar chalne lagaa. "haan beta...aao baitho.." Daddy ne paas bithaya...satish darte darte paas gaya. Pata nahi aaj daddy ne kyu baithaya hai...jaroor koi khaas baat hai.. "hum sabhi log kal Bhopal jaa rahe hain..." unhone bataya.. "agale hafte hum log yaha se nikalenge...tab tak tum apne office mein bhi leave application de dena...2-3 din lagenge" "Lekin..baat kya hai daddy..!!" Darte darte badi mushkil se awaaz nikali. "tumhare liye tumhari Mausi ne ladki dekhi hai..kareeb kareeb baat pakki ho hi chuki hai...bas tumhe usko dekhna bhar hai...hum log chal rahe hai sab baat final karke hi aayenge...soch raha hu ..deewali tak tumhari shaadi ho jaye... Apni Packing Kar lo.." Daddy ne apni raub-daar awaaz mein kaha... Satish ke muh se awaaz hi nahi nikali satish sar jhukaye baitha tha. Bas woh ek hi line bol paya... "jee Daddy..." See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/
g_b YELLOW NITE @ Mercure - Bangalore Sat,1st Aug
YELLOW NITE ~~ A Friendship Day Celebration with Party Square! ~~~ For ages now we have seen high and low, it is with friends that we always grow! Celebrating the greatest occasion of the year Friendship Day! Yesterday brought in the beginning, today marks the end, But somewhere in the middle, we find good friends. A journey once so tired, grows more pale, When friends are not part of the flavour And life can become stale So as a mark of celebration for this year's friendship day, we ask you to adorn the color Yellow the color of Friendship A Yellow nite party just for making friends, old and new Friends Meeting Day.. Saturday 1st Aug 2009 Friendly Timing 8pm onwards.. Friendship Square: Mercure (formerly Fabulous) Above Pizza Hut 3rd Floor Opp Dell, Koramangala Ring road Domlur Bangalore Route- Take the Koramangala ring road, After the flyover junction on Old Airport road, or ask the oldbies, "where did Fabulous exist"?? lol Friendship deal: 2 alcoholic drinks (Beer, Vodka with mixers, Gin, Whisky, Wine red/white) Unlimited starters (Veg / Nonveg) Dance, Music (Retro, House, Commercial, Hip-hop) DJ Kumar Party till midnight! and DINNER too (Veg and Nonveg) Friendship fare Rs 650/- for making friends Friendship Wrap A collection of gifts, goodies and more for those that win the contests of friendship Yes, but we had told you that it's the celebration of the Rainbow colors! So get those yellow strings on for the jam session with the best of your friends! (Join/become member, and link your profile with Party-Square Club in Planetromeo.com website to get online updates about Bangalore parties and events) NOTE : *YES YOU CAN SHAKE YOUR BODY ON HOUSE/HIP-HOP, TRANCE, COMMERCIAL, BOLLYWOOD TRACKS. *PARTY STARTS FROM 8pm EVENING TO TILL 12 MIDNIGHT .!!! *PVT. MSG US OR DROP YOUR MOBILE NUMBERS TO GET UPDATES / MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BANGALORE PARTIES *PARTY SQUARE / CLUB IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR BELOGINGS. *CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED ONLY IN BAR COUNTER Some dos : Party Square as a support group, has created this comfort/safe space for all Party Takers. Many guys at the party may be "First Timers", those who come to a party for the first time. We request you to consider the comfort levels of others and to behave and dress accordingly. DON'T GATHER IN GROUPS OUT SIDE THE VENUE. Some Don'ts NO PRIVATE SPACES AND NO SEX ON THE PREMISES. IF FOUND INDULGING IN ANY "HANKY PANKY" YOU SHALL BE ASKED TO LEAVE THE PARTY So get your friends der, for a meaningful share, A Friendship rare, wit Party Square!
g_b Ways to deal with homophobia
Censoring other people's homophobic rants can boomrang, but cussing them could be kosher sometimes :-) http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/28/nyregion/28nyc.html (may require registration)
