[CTRL] Easter Canceled This Year!
Easter Canceled This Year!Author Unknown Jerusalem, April 15, 1995- -Archeologists who have been excavating in the hills above Jerusalem announced today the discovery of a 2000-year-old mummy bearing puncture wounds through the hands and feet and a deep laceration in the lower left chest. Scientists noted that there was a large accumulation of blood in the lower body, consistent with the body having been upright at the time of death. Carbon dating of the body and its burial shroud indicated death had occurred 1990 +-95 years ago. The archeologists stated that in spite of its age, the body was well preserved in the dry air of the hidden, sealed cave. A senior archeologist, asked if this was the body of Jesus Christ, refused to comment, but agreed that "the evidence is not inconsistent with that hypothesis." A younger archeologist, who requested anonymity, said "This is the corpse of Christ. Period. They're just going to have to cancel Easter this year." A Vatican spokesman said that such a discovery was impossible, because they had the true burial cloth of Christ, the Shroud of Turin. Asked to explain its carbon date of approximately 1300 AD, the spokesman repeated the Vatican position that there was a burst of radiation at the time of the resurrection. In a separate news conference, another spokesman said that a careful reading of the Bible and Catholic doctrine would show that they were "not inconsistent" with such a discovery. Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States, announced outrage that such a discovery should be made. In Lynchburg, Virginia, Jerry Falwell, leader of Moral Majority, denounced it as "an attempt by atheistic scientists to undermine the Constitution." Armed troops were patrolling the Christian sections of Jerusalem after the Chief Rabbi commented that he "had always known the resurrection was a myth." The Israeli government ordered him to make no further statements on the discovery.
Re: [CTRL] Easter Canceled This Year!
-Original Message-From: Conspiracy Theory Research List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of blue honeySent: 19 April 2000 13:49To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [CTRL] Easter Canceled This Year! Easter Canceled This Year!Author Unknown Jerusalem, April 15, 1995- -Archeologists who have been excavating in the hills above Jerusalem announced today the discovery of a 2000-year-old mummy bearing puncture wounds through the hands and feet and a deep laceration in the lower left chest. Who are these archaeologists? Scientists noted that there was a large accumulation of blood in the lower body, consistent with the body having been upright at the time of death. Who are these scientists? Carbon dating of the body and its burial shroud indicated death had occurred 1990 +-95 years ago. Who did the carbon dating? The archeologists stated that in spite of its age, the body was well preserved in the dry air of the hidden, sealed cave. A senior archeologist, WHO? asked if this was the body of Jesus Christ, refused to comment, but agreed that "the evidence is not inconsistent with that hypothesis." A younger archeologist, WHO??? who requested anonymity, said "This is the corpse of Christ. Period. They're just going to have to cancel Easter this year." How did he know this? A Vatican spokesmanWHO??? said that such a discovery was impossible, because they had the true burial cloth of Christ, the Shroud of Turin. Asked to explain its carbon date of approximately 1300 AD, the spokesman repeated the Vatican position that there was a burst of radiation at the time of the resurrection. In a separate news conference, another spokesman WHO??? said that a careful reading of the Bible and Catholic doctrine would show that they were "not inconsistent" with such a discovery. Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States, announced outrage that such a discovery should be made. In Lynchburg, Virginia, Jerry Falwell, leader of Moral Majority, denounced it as "an attempt by atheistic scientists to undermine the Constitution." Armed troops were patrolling the Christian sections of Jerusalem after the Chief Rabbi commented that he "had always known the resurrection was a myth." The Israeli government ordered him to make no further statements on the discovery. Reference please? Silas
Re: [CTRL] Easter Canceled This Year!
This is all this I have for you: http://www.infidels.org/misc/humor/easter.html I believe it was meant to be humorous. Easter Canceled This Year!Author Unknown Jerusalem, April 15, 1995- -Archeologists who have been excavating in the hills above Jerusalem announced today the discovery of a 2000-year-old mummy bearing puncture wounds through the hands and feet and a deep laceration in the lower left chest. Who are these archaeologists? Scientists noted that there was a large accumulation of blood in the lower body, consistent with the body having been upright at the time of death. Who are these scientists? Carbon dating of the body and its burial shroud indicated death had occurred 1990 +-95 years ago. Who did the carbon dating? The archeologists stated that in spite of its age, the body was well preserved in the dry air of the hidden, sealed cave. A senior archeologist, WHO? asked if this was the body of Jesus Christ, refused to comment, but agreed that "the evidence is not inconsistent with that hypothesis." A younger archeologist, WHO??? who requested anonymity, said "This is the corpse of Christ. Period. They're just going to have to cancel Easter this year." How did he know this? A Vatican spokesmanWHO??? said that such a discovery was impossible, because they had the true burial cloth of Christ, the Shroud of Turin. Asked to explain its carbon date of approximately 1300 AD, the spokesman repeated the Vatican position that there was a burst of radiation at the time of the resurrection. In a separate news conference, another spokesman WHO??? said that a careful reading of the Bible and Catholic doctrine would show that they were "not inconsistent" with such a discovery. Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States, announced outrage that such a discovery should be made. In Lynchburg, Virginia, Jerry Falwell, leader of Moral Majority, denounced it as "an attempt by atheistic scientists to undermine the Constitution." Armed troops were patrolling the Christian sections of Jerusalem after the Chief Rabbi commented that he "had always known the resurrection was a myth." The Israeli government ordered him to make no further statements on the discovery. Reference please? Silas
Re: [CTRL] Easter Canceled This Year!
4/19/00 I thought it might be intended as a joke. It wasn't a gut buster, but sort of cute. Except for me, atheists aren't very funny. Get used to the shock god guys. One day soon you will read an article similar to this and it will be real. The end is nigh. Enjoy it while you can. Joshua2 = Easter Canceled This Year! Author Unknown Jerusalem, April 15, 1995- -Archeologists who have been excavating in the hills above Jerusalem announced today the discovery of a 2000-year-old mummy bearing puncture wounds through the hands and feet and a deep laceration in the lower left chest. A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/"www.ctrl.org/A DECLARATION DISCLAIMER == CTRL is a discussion informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substancenot soap-boxingplease! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory'with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright fraudsis used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html A HREF="http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html"Archives of [EMAIL PROTECTED]/A http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ A HREF="http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/"ctrl/A To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
