[Hornlist] survey of horns played

[Steven Mumford]

Just out of curiosity, my friend went back and repeated his survey of the 
top 55 orchestra horn sections listed on hornplayer.net.   He found 61 players 
listed as playing 8Ds, 27 Hill, 23 Rauch, 16 Schmid triple, 15 Berg, 11 for 
Lewis, Paxman dbl, Paxman triple, Schmid Dbl and Yamaha triple, 10 Lawson, 9 
Geyer, 7 for 103 and Schmidt, 5 McCracken, 2 Atkinson.   He found almost no 
sections that all played the same horns, the Met being one exception.  A couple 
of the top orchestras didn't list their horns, I think Chicago was one.   FWIW.
   
  - Steve Mumford  


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Re: [Hornlist] survey China horns// brasswinds

[Steve Burg]

I had a student who owned one.  The two largest problems I noticed were:

1.Uneven intonation / scale
2.Valves would freeze-up if it sat for a few days without playing.

Steve Burg
- Original Message - 
From: "Leonard & Peggy Brown" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>

To: "horn list memphis" 
Sent: Saturday, October 06, 2007 5:29 PM
Subject: [Hornlist] survey China horns// brasswinds


Hi, if you would like to be helpful with my "most modesting" of question 
below please jump in.  I would like to limit this to people that have 
actually spent time with horns imported from China.


I know that Chinese horns have lots of problems.  Most of the time they 
are just regarded as "junk" on these lists.  Could we get down to root of 
the evil?  Could you list in order what your think the top 3 or 4 problems 
are with the imported horns?


Here are some remarks... please list a few in order from biggest problem:

poor material (brass), valves leak, poor design to start with, poor 
soldering (falls apart), poor finish, brass too thick, brass too thin, 
valves fit badly in casings (leak, fuzzy), keys break, poor assembly 
(leaks), poor inspection (dents from factory), too heavy, too light, 
sharp, flat, poor fit on slides (leak, don't slide), valve caps and screw 
bells don't fit, smells, wears out quickly, poor tone.


Can you think of anything else?

Regards,
Leonard
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[Hornlist] survey China horns// brasswinds

[Leonard & Peggy Brown]

Hi, if you would like to be helpful with my "most modesting" of question 
below please jump in.  I would like to limit this to people that have 
actually spent time with horns imported from China.


I know that Chinese horns have lots of problems.  Most of the time they are 
just regarded as "junk" on these lists.  Could we get down to root of the 
evil?  Could you list in order what your think the top 3 or 4 problems are 
with the imported horns?


Here are some remarks... please list a few in order from biggest problem:

poor material (brass), valves leak, poor design to start with, poor 
soldering (falls apart), poor finish, brass too thick, brass too thin, 
valves fit badly in casings (leak, fuzzy), keys break, poor assembly 
(leaks), poor inspection (dents from factory), too heavy, too light, sharp, 
flat, poor fit on slides (leak, don't slide), valve caps and screw bells 
don't fit, smells, wears out quickly, poor tone.


Can you think of anything else?

Regards,
Leonard 


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Re: [Hornlist] Survey

[William Foss]

Dear Ron,
Thank you for responding to my survey, ans also for being one of the first. 
I wasn't sure what kind of response I would get, I needed fifty, but I 
surpassed my goal.

Thanks again,
William Foss


Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.






From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Reply-To: The Horn List 
To: horn@music.memphis.edu
Subject: Re: [Hornlist] Survey
Date: Sat, 12 Nov 2005 11:09:58 EST

I am not a professional, but would like to be. I practice three 45 minute
sessions a day, every day.  On days I play in ensembles,  2 1/2 hours  on 
mf and

4 hours on w, I practice about 45 minutes on mf, and none on w.   But then
I'm trying to get there.

Ron
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RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[Shannon Midbrod]

Point(s) well taken, Hans, but good Lord!  He just needs some numbers!  Give 
the guy a break!  (By the way, I try to get in two hours a day but I'm only in 
high school so my response probably isn't overly valuable) 
 
~Shannon Midbrod

Hans <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Your informations are definitely wrong. Have you ever
attended a rehearsal of a Bruckner Symphony or a Mahler
Symphony ? I doubt that. There is so much to play that
everyone is happy at the break. Do you earnestly think that
practising is continuous playing ? 

Practising consists of learning a piece (etudes included) by
reading it first, sometimes with the horn in hand so to
practise the fingerings, sometimes without the horn in hand
just reading the part. Then the playing starts. Some notes
have to be thought about, maybe searching for alternative
fingering, sometimes correcting a phrasing, water emptying
the horn, adjusting the slides, counting rest measures, -
all that is included in practise time. PRACTISE IS NOT
CONTINUOUS PLAYING. ONLY IDIOTS DO THAT  Sorry !!! Why
do I call these people idiots ? Because they ruin their
embouchure by continuously playing, ruining all the beauty
of tone if they had it allready. They waste their time, as
by this methode nothing will go forward. Thew profit of such
"practising" is ZERO.

Did you ever think, that professional musicians would be
"serious players" also ? If you have a three hour rehearsal
in the morning (a symphony or an operatic work) plus a
performance at night lasting another 4 hours two twenty
minutes break included, would you think that these
"unserious players" would play less music than a student
would play during a three hour practise session, interrupted
by walks to the toilet, incoming or outgoing frequent celll
phone calls ??

It might be better for your mathematic experiment, to ask
the student community (high school level only !! Not college
level !!) to answer your survey. 

Personally I think it be useless anyway, as many
""students"" (people who call themselves students ironiously
!) might thak the results of the survey word by word & think
the average amount of practise time would be enough for them
to get success. 

All the square roots you might take out of the survey are of
evil anyway, as a lot of statistics are. Price change from 1
ct to 2 cts implies a rise of 100%, but a car price tag
rise from 25.000.- (to be moderate) to 50.000 would be the
same 100% rise. So statistic is just good if interpreted in
a serious & objective way. See politics !!!
.
By the way some entertaining:
Newspaper clip (Germany): Parish St.Anton got their urns
cemetary newly painted with some nice colours as the parish
meant: "I thought to bring a bit of live to the cemetary
!!"



-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On
Behalf Of William Foss
Sent: Sunday, November 13, 2005 4:40 PM
To: horn@music.memphis.edu
Subject: RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

Dear List,
I should have been more specific in my description of a
"serious player." I would say that a serious player might
play with a community group or two on a regular basis and
also devotes a sizeable amount of time to practicing on his
or her own.
This is not to say that anyone who does not fit this
description is not a serious player, rather, it is simply
the term that I will use for my project. I hope that
everyone does not get stuck on my use of "serious player,"
because I don't mean to put anyone down.
I would like to include practicing only, please, because
rehearsals are not continuous playing, like practicing is.

Thank you very much
William Foss

Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say
to your colleagues.


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-
 Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.  
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Re: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[MARKSUERON]

Carlberg,
 
 
I think you're way off base on this.  The guy has a legitimate  project.
 
Ron
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RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[William Foss]

Your informations are definitely wrong. Have you ever attended a 
rehearsal of a Bruckner Symphony
or a Mahler Symphony ? I doubt that. There is so much to play that 
everyone is happy at the break.

Do you earnestly think that practising is continuous playing ?

In my limited experience, I have not attended a rehearsal of either. I was 
operating within the limited boundaries of my own experience; rehearsals 
stop and start, the conductor asks for something different, we play again. 
And so on. I will try to make less generalizations in the future.
I do not think of practicing as continuous playing. That was simply a poor 
choice of words on my part. What I meant was the time that you set aside for 
practicing. For example, I just (4:15- 5:50) set aside an hour and a half. I 
did not practice for the entire hour and a half, I took many short breaks 
but the majority was playing. I apologize again for my poor choice of words


William Foss


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Re: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[Erin Block]

Though I am sure there are greater experts than I out on the list, I'll do my 
duty as a doctoral student in a research program (meaning, I've suffered my 
share of statistics courses) and ask you, William, about what exactly you have 
in mind for your survey. What hypotheses are you testing with the survey? Is 
there anything in particular you are trying to demonstrate or support with the 
info you gather? Is it just the one question regarding hours of practice? What 
types of analyses are you considering running?
Knowing the answers to these questions will do wonders for clarifying your 
potential respondent pool and the phrasing in your survey, and will also help 
other list members give you the best data you can get. Best of luck, keep us 
updated!
 
Erin Block
Grad. Student, I/O Psychology
St. Louis, MO

William Foss <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Dear List,
I think that I will modify the amount of people who can respond, because I 
need more responses.
If you consider yourself a fairly serious player; if you practice or play 
regularly, please send me privately or on-list an approximate amount of time 
that you practice on a weekly basis.

Thank you
William Foss



Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.


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RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[Hans]

Your informations are definitely wrong. Have you ever
attended a rehearsal of a Bruckner Symphony or a Mahler
Symphony ? I doubt that. There is so much to play that
everyone is happy at the break. Do you earnestly think that
practising is continuous playing ? 

Practising consists of learning a piece (etudes included) by
reading it first, sometimes with the horn in hand so to
practise the fingerings, sometimes without the horn in hand
just reading the part. Then the playing starts. Some notes
have to be thought about, maybe searching for alternative
fingering, sometimes correcting a phrasing, water emptying
the horn, adjusting the slides, counting rest measures, -
all that is included in practise time. PRACTISE IS NOT
CONTINUOUS PLAYING. ONLY IDIOTS DO THAT  Sorry !!! Why
do I call these people idiots ? Because they ruin their
embouchure by continuously playing, ruining all the beauty
of tone if they had it allready. They waste their time, as
by this methode nothing will go forward. Thew profit of such
"practising" is ZERO.

Did you ever think, that professional musicians would be
"serious players" also ? If you have a three hour rehearsal
in the morning (a symphony or an operatic work) plus a
performance at night lasting another 4 hours two twenty
minutes break included, would you think that these
"unserious players" would play less music than a student
would play during a three hour practise session, interrupted
by walks to the toilet, incoming or outgoing frequent celll
phone calls  ??

It might be better for your mathematic experiment, to ask
the student community (high school level only !! Not college
level !!) to answer your survey. 

Personally I think it be useless anyway, as many
""students"" (people who call themselves students ironiously
!) might thak the results of the survey word by word & think
the average amount of practise time would be enough for them
to get success.  

All the square roots you might take out of the survey are of
evil anyway, as a lot of statistics are. Price change from 1
ct to 2 cts  implies a rise of 100%, but a car price tag
rise from 25.000.- (to be moderate) to 50.000 would be the
same 100% rise. So statistic is just good if interpreted in
a serious & objective way. See politics !!!
.
By the way some entertaining:
Newspaper clip (Germany):   Parish St.Anton got their urns
cemetary newly painted with some nice colours as the parish
meant: "I thought to bring a bit of live to the cemetary
!!"



-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On
Behalf Of William Foss
Sent: Sunday, November 13, 2005 4:40 PM
To: horn@music.memphis.edu
Subject: RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

Dear List,
I should have been more specific in my description of a
"serious player." I would say that a serious player might
play with a community group or two on a regular basis and
also devotes a sizeable amount of time to practicing on his
or her own.
This is not to say that anyone who does not fit this
description is not a serious player, rather, it is simply
the term that I will use for my project. I hope that
everyone does not get stuck on my use of "serious player,"
because I don't mean to put anyone down.
I would like to include practicing only, please, because
rehearsals are not continuous playing, like practicing is.

Thank you very much
William Foss

Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say
to your colleagues.


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de

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RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[William Foss]

Dear List,
I should have been more specific in my description of a "serious player." I 
would say that a serious player might play with a community group or two on 
a regular basis and also devotes a sizeable amount of time to practicing on 
his or her own.
This is not to say that anyone who does not fit this description is not a 
serious player, rather, it is simply the term that I will use for my 
project. I hope that everyone does not get stuck on my use of "serious 
player," because I don't mean to put anyone down.
I would like to include practicing only, please, because rehearsals are not 
continuous playing, like practicing is.


Thank you very much
William Foss

Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.



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Re: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[Carlberg Jones]

At 3:22 PM + 11/13/05, William Foss wrote:
>I think that I will modify the amount of people who can respond, because I
>need more responses.

>If you consider yourself a fairly serious player; if you practice or play
>regularly, please send me privately or on-list an approximate amount of
>time that you practice on a weekly basis.


Greetings, William -


I already sent you privately 54 responses which you undoubtedly knew were
made up, but which, however, were more or less valid in terms of my opinion
about how much professionals and teachers may practice.

What I don't understand is what difference this all makes. It's a
mathematics class. Why are you insistent on getting real responses?

What's the point?

By the way, it's "who may respond," not "who can respond." You are giving
permission, not ability.


Regards, Carlberg

Carlberg Jones
Guanajuato, Gto.
MEXICO


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RE: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

[John Baumgart]

Do you make a distinction between practicing and rehearsing?

John Baumgart

-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
William Foss
Sent: Sunday, November 13, 2005 9:22 AM
To: horn@music.memphis.edu
Subject: [Hornlist] Survey Revision

Dear List,
I think that I will modify the amount of people who can respond, because I 
need more responses.
If you consider yourself a fairly serious player; if you practice or play 
regularly, please send me privately or on-list an approximate amount of time

that you practice on a weekly basis.

Thank you
William Foss



Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.


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[Hornlist] Survey Revision

[William Foss]

Dear List,
I think that I will modify the amount of people who can respond, because I 
need more responses.
If you consider yourself a fairly serious player; if you practice or play 
regularly, please send me privately or on-list an approximate amount of time 
that you practice on a weekly basis.


Thank you
William Foss



Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.



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Re: [Hornlist] Survey

[MARKSUERON]

I am not a professional, but would like to be. I practice three 45 minute  
sessions a day, every day.  On days I play in ensembles,  2 1/2 hours  on mf 
and 
4 hours on w, I practice about 45 minutes on mf, and none on w.   But then 
I'm trying to get there.
 
Ron
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Re: [Hornlist] Survey

[William Foss]

Dear List,
The question relates to statistics; I have to have something that averages 
to a solid number. Then, I will create a frequency distribution table to 
represent the data, find central tendency, variance, and standard deviation.
The question is one that simply gives a single set of numbers. That is all 
that I am looking for.



William Foss

Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.




At 1:12 PM + 11/12/05, William Foss wrote:
>I am doing a statistics for my math class. My topic is practice habits of
>professional players. If as many teachers or professional players could 
let

>me know:
>"How many hours per week do you practice?"


Will you please explain how this relates to mathematics?

Thanks.

Carlberg Jones
Guanajuato, Gto.
MEXICO



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Re: [Hornlist] Survey

[Carlberg Jones]

At 1:12 PM + 11/12/05, William Foss wrote:
>I am doing a statistics for my math class. My topic is practice habits of
>professional players. If as many teachers or professional players could let
>me know:
>"How many hours per week do you practice?"


Will you please explain how this relates to mathematics?

Thanks.

Carlberg Jones
Guanajuato, Gto.
MEXICO


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[Hornlist] Survey

[William Foss]

Dear List,
I am doing a statistics for my math class. My topic is practice habits of 
professional players. If as many teachers or professional players could let 
me know:

"How many hours per week do you practice?"
The requirements of the project require the poll to include fifty people. 
So, I would like to get as many replies as possible. Feel free to contact me 
privately or on-list.


Thank you very much
William Foss



Paul Ingraham's advice to young horn players:
Find a good teacher. Practice diligently. Watch what you say to your 
colleagues.



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[Hornlist] survey (3)

[Daniel Canarutto]

Dear List,
up to now, the survey proposed by "Il Club del Corno" was not such a 
big success, only 7 answers (but some big names among them). However, 
this remains an open project, namely at any time professionals can 
send their ideas, as well as correct or add to what they already 
sent; moreover, I'll try to add answers by directly inteviewing any 
pro player I happen to meet. I'll keep you informed of any important 
news.

All the best, Daniel
--
Daniel Canarutto
mathematical physicist & dedicated amateur hornist
http://www.dma.unifi.it/~canarutto/  (professional home page)
http://www.corno.it  (Il Club del Corno)
http://www.amadeusorchestra.org  (orchestra Amadeus - Firenze)
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Re: [Hornlist] SURVEY (2)

[Daniel Canarutto]

As far as I know, the site is up and works properly. Maybe there were 
problems in that moment when you tried.

I will email the questions to anybody who asks it. Unfortunately, my 
html skills are not yet sufficient for enabling you to write the 
answers online.

Thanks again,
Daniel

I just tried the link and it won't come up.  Any suggestions?
Sonja Reynolds

In a message dated 2/17/03 2:59:18 AM Mountain Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

<< http://www.corno.it >>


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Re: [Hornlist] SURVEY (2)

[Sonjahornteacher]

I just tried the link and it won't come up.  Any suggestions?
Sonja Reynolds

In a message dated 2/17/03 2:59:18 AM Mountain Standard Time, 
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

<< http://www.corno.it >>
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[Hornlist] SURVEY (2)

[Daniel Canarutto]

Friends,
up to now, the survey I recently proposed was not a big success: I 
only received 3 answers, though they are from well-known and highly 
esteemed professionals. To all the others I say: COME ON! PLEASE 
ANSWER! It will only take a few minutes (if you choose to write short 
answers).
In order to read the answers given up to know, click the  
link on the homepage of http://www.corno.it . There you can also read 
the questions.

I'd like to make a comment about breathing devices and related 
issues. You know that there are successful players who either use it 
themselves or for their students. Yes, it's true that a person who 
naturally does everything right doesn't need these... maybe. But how 
to instruct others? Are you sure that there are no methods which can 
help someone whom you regard as hopeless?

The Alexander Technique teaches that even the most deeply rooted 
habits can be changed, though it's not an easy task. The way in which 
an individual walks, speaks, moves, all these can be substantially 
improved, given a real understanding of the problems and the right 
methods. I have experienced all this (well, it's a never-ending 
enterprise), and it's true also for horn playing: it's incredible how 
my playing has changed in 3 years (of course it's far to late for 
imagining a pro career). And I know a good young professional who 
once was told, by a renowned player, that he had to abandon...

Trying to raise some discussion...
--
Daniel Canarutto
mathematical physicist & dedicated amateur hornist
http://www.dma.unifi.it/~canarutto/
http://www.corno.it
http://www.amadeusorchestra.org
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[Hornlist] SURVEY

[Daniel Canarutto]

Please, forgive this double post.

Il Club del Corno, the Italian Horn Website ,
is promoting an opinion survey among professional horn players, based 
on the following list of questions.
The answers will be published on the site in English and in Italian.

You may wish to answer only part of the questions, or to add any
consideration which you think is appropriate to the context; you are also
free to write just a few words or a contribution of any length.

Many thanks to all those who will contribute.

Daniel Canarutto
Il Club del Corno
http://www.corno.it

--
QUESTIONS:

1) What where the turning points in your development as a horn 
player? List any factor that was important to your progression as a 
musician (e.g. which conservatory/music school attended, influential 
teacher/s, particular events).

2) Do you think that your professional success could have been essentially
different (either greater or lesser) if you had had other teachers?

3) How much does the possibility of becoming a competent horn player depend on
a) Facial structure, b) Inborn talent, c) Application/study ?

4) Should a student who is having serious problems in the fundamentals, after
studying the horn for some years, abandon the idea of becoming a
professional at all, or could he/she be still brought to a level of
competency by appropriate teaching metods (that is, by finding a new
teacher)?

5) What is, in your opinion, the importance and use of
a) Mouthpiece buzzing, b) Handled rim (rim on a stick) buzzing, c) Free lip
buzzing ?

6) Do you know, use, recommend the "inspiron" and/or other breathing devices?

7) Do you think that progresses in one's playing happens steadily, by
constant application, or by leaps?

8) Should a teacher give precise embouchure directions? And how precise?

9) Are there special directions/techniques for mastering the low and 
high registers?

10) How was your experience in auditioning and what advice on this
matter can you give to aspiring professionals?
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[Hornlist] Survey: Are Orchestras too Loud?

[Paul Kampen]

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>>SURVEY OF ORCHESTRAL MUSICIANS

>As a result of Mr. Hunt's recent article titled "Please Turn Down

>the Orchestra" a survey of orchestral players was undertaken. The

>object was to determine whether or not, in the opinion of the players,

>orchestras have become too loud.<

Dear All

This is a very serious matter at the moment; especially in Europe where new
EEC Regulations (which will come into to force shortly) are expected to
make a lot of daily orchestral life illegal.  Surveys have shown that brass
and woodwind players often have daily personal noise exposures in excess of
90db.  Current British law (the Noise at Work Regulations 1989) requires
that, where a person's daily exposure is likely to exceed an equivalent of
90db averaged over 8 hours, it must be muffled at source, or the person
must be distanced from the noise, or the exposure time must be reduced
(halving the exposure time knocks off 3db from the daily dose).
Where daily exposure is below 90db but above 85db, people must be offered
protection but are not legally obliged to use it.
It must be emphasised that once lost, hearing cannot be regained. Put it
another way; flatten the delicate Stereocilia in the ears and they will
stand up again after a few days (hence the 'temporary deafness' sometimes
experienced).  But once they have been destroyed, they will not re-grow and
your hearing is gone for good.
The new EEC rules will tighten up the legislation and then in Britain we
have two choices.  One is to take the attitude that Brussels is tampering
with the rights of the free-born Englishman yet again - if he wants to go
deaf, what right has the Common Market got to tell him that he cann't? Sign
up for the UK Independence Party at once!
Or we can take measures which have been suggested like going back to medium
bore brass instruments (just think about it - our 1st horn's Conn 8d to be
confiscated by the Health and Safety Executive!);  schedule more small
orchestra pieces (all those free lance players who come in as extras put
out of work), re-seat everybody (how the hell do you do that in the pit of
the Theatre Royal in Nottingham?), schedule more sectional rehearsals
(Boring!!) or give up.
An attempt has been made by PEARLE *(the confederation of European
Entertainment Unions) for special regulations for the entertainment
industry but the  Social Dialogue Committee of the EEC had not accepted the
 idea, which however has  gone for further consultation; but the EEC
Commission is against it.
Anybody interested in these matters should obtain the ABO report 'A Sound
Ear' prepared by Alison Wright Reid.  Look at the ABO website
(www.abo.org.uk) for details.
It is a serious business!

Cheers

Paul A. Kampen - 4th horn, Orchestra of Opera North (Leeds UK)
Horn Tutor - Leeds Music College
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[Hornlist] Survey: Are Orchestras too Loud?

[PMJILKA]

>SURVEY OF ORCHESTRAL MUSICIANS

>As a result of Mr. Hunt's recent article titled "Please Turn Down

>the Orchestra" a survey of orchestral players was undertaken. The

>object was to determine whether or not, in the opinion of the players,

>orchestras have become too loud.

>This question was asked: "Do you, as a professional orchestral

>musician think that orchestras have become too loud, and if so, how has

>this

>affected you personally?" Following , in score order, are some typical

>responses.

>1. Flutist: "Yes, most decidedly. In fact the situation has

>deteriorated to the point that I am actually looking forward to being

>demoted

>to 3rd flute and piccolo where I will be able to make myself heard, at

>least on

>the picc.."

>2. Oboist: "I think so. I have trouble keeping up as far as volume

>is concerned. I have finally resorted to two pieces of cedar shakes tied

>together to make a reed and the conductor still keeps asking for

>more."

>3. Clarinetist: "Perhaps. The conductor has asked me to stand up on

>all solos so that the audience will notice me. I am also using one of those

>new

>titanium reeds. The tone is a bit metallic, but it does cut through the

>mass of string sound. I suppose the strings could play softer. I don't

>know;

>they have never been asked to."

>4. Bassoonist: "I really don't know. I didn't show up for the last

>three concerts and nobody seemed to notice."

>5. Hornist: "If he wants it louder, he should hire more horn

>players!"

>6. Trumpet player: "I think we should play louder, faster, and put

>it up an octave."

>7. Trombonist: "I really don't care. Just wake me up when we get to

>the last movement. By the way, where is the party after the concert?"

> 8. Tuba player: "I never thought about it. What I want to know is

>why I'm not allowed to wear my lederhosen at concerts. After all, I am

>principal of the section!"

>9. Percussionist: "What?"

>10. First violinist. "No, I don't think so. When the brass come in

>we don't have to worry about intonation in the fiddle section. I don't know

>what's going on in the seconds. There are times when I can't hear them

>at all."

>11. Second violinist: "Perhaps Things have become a bit more

>complicated. I now use two bows, one for the soft spots and another for

>when the

>brass come in. I use soap on that one instead of rosin."

> 12. Violist: "Duh?"

>13. 'Cellist: "Well I guess so. At least we have had to play louder

>since the bassoons stopped showing up."

>14. Double bassist: "I don't know about the rest of the orchestra

>but all we can hear back here is that damn tuba. We all chipped in and

>bought

>that big guy a tuba with the bell aimed the other direction, but he won't

>use

>it. If we allowed him to wear his lederhosen would he play

>softer?"
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