You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Matthew Stitt]

When someone mentions green card, you don't think of immigration
You understand the significance of version 3.8
You think of DASD not DISK
You know what a disk pack is
When someone mentions RENT you don't think of housing expense
You know that WAD has nothing to do with gum
You think that fixed font, green on black is an ideal programming environment
You know where "pluckin' and shuckin'" really came from (and wish you didn't)
You know that the head of string is not an HR position
You think of DASD when someone mentions string
You don't trust any machine you can lift or step over
You remember when your computer had an air bag in it (and a compressor to
inflate it)
You understand how a computer can work better with 30 gallons of water in it
You know that a functional recovery routine is not physical therapy
You know what load unit dials are, and how to use them
You know why BALR 14,14 works like it does
You don't consider channels something on TV or part of a product
distribution system
You remember punched cards and why they were called unit records
You know what a drum card is
You know that a DASD FARM isn't where little DASDs grow
You know CORE is in an apple.. mainframes use monolithic memory these days
You DO know what CORE memory was
You understand why 31bit addressing and not 32bit
You know that DEBE does everything but eat
You spell "kicks" CICS
You can make a sentence out of all acronyms, and your peers will understand
it perfectly
Your computer has always been made up of multiple processors
You can recite at least three meanings for the ISC acronym
You remember having to press REQUEST on the console
You know the keystroke for EOB (Alt + 5)
You know domains were something that Amdahl invented
You know that REUS is not waste recycling
You know that a Coupling Facility has nothing to do with the railroad
You know that a control register has nothing to do with Point Of Sale
When someone says prism, you're not thinking of light diffraction
If someone mentions a "pizza oven" you don't immediately think of food
You know the difference between UNI, MP, AP, and SMP
You think of availability in terms of end user access to applications, not
just recovering to the C:> prompt
You consider most horizontal scaling clustering to just be wanna-be's
You remember HIPO and know that it's not a zoo animal
You know why you can't pop address plugs across strings
You know why blue cables and not grey
You know what CUU means
You know what DISOSS is and it doesn't scare you
You don't have to be told when to press the Enter key
You don't spend hours looking for the "ANY" key
You know who "the BUNCH" were (Burroughs, Univac, NCR, CDC and Honeywell)
You know that SPOOL is an acronym (Simultaneous Peripheral Operations Online)
You don't think that address space is an area on an envelope
You've successfully used PSW RESTART
You know what Reset, Load, Rewind, Start had to do with
You understand the benefits of connection-based communication architectures
You know that TSO TEST could not test everthing
You know that just because your manager wrote some code, that didn't make it
 authorized
You know that AC(1) had nothing to do with room temperature
You know that Carrier Sense Multiple Access / Collision Detect is how a
token succeeds in life.
You know the relative merits of Count Key Data and Relative Block Addressing
You know that //EOJ is not a web address.
You know what IEFBR14 does and how many APARs were taken on it (4)
You now what an APAR is  (Authorized Program Analysis Report)
You know that DITTO is an acronym.   For DOS, no, not that DOS, the other
DOS.  (IBM Data Interfile Transfer, Testing, and Operations Utility).
You know that FS didn't take over from the mainframe, but became a pretty
good System/38.
You don't understand all the furor about security... it's a given
You think that two computers that can't share the same data for update is
silly and archaic
You know what Select Out Bypass is
You know that BUS and TAG aren't children's games
You know that SPIE and STAE are not commands for your pet
You know that SPIE is not espionage
You know that FETCH Protect isn't a way to keep your dog from getting to the
bone stash
You think that all systems should be able to run at 100% 24x7 without having
issues
You know that 24x7x365 was coined by someone who didn't understand math
You don't find 6 months of continuous up-time without having to restart the
system as unusual
You don't "boot" a system, you IPL it
You don't know what throwing an exception means, but do know what an abend
code is about
You think that all the bits of a word should represent a numerical value the
same way it's written... high order on the left
You know the difference between single and multi-mode fibre cable and where
to use which
You can create a tape backup of something and know you can read it back on
another machine
You think nothing of sharing a database between transactional and batch
work, and maintiaining response time
Creating a 2 billion r

Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Gary Green]

Ah  Forgot to include CRLF's did we...? 

-Original Message-
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf
Of Matthew Stitt
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 4:56 PM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

When someone mentions green card, you don't think of immigration You
understand the significance of version 3.8 You think of DASD not DISK You
know what a disk pack is When someone mentions RENT you don't think of
housing expense You know that WAD has nothing to do with gum You think that
fixed font, green on black is an ideal programming environment You know
where "pluckin' and shuckin'" really came from (and wish you didn't) You
know that the head of string is not an HR position You think of DASD when
someone mentions string You don't trust any machine you can lift or step
over You remember when your computer had an air bag in it (and a compressor
to inflate it) You understand how a computer can work better with 30 gallons
of water in it You know that a functional recovery routine is not physical
therapy You know what load unit dials are, and how to use them You know why
BALR 14,14 works like it does You don't consider channels something on TV or
part of a product distribution system You remember punched cards and why
they were called unit records You know what a drum card is You know that a
DASD FARM isn't where little DASDs grow You know CORE is in an apple..
mainframes use monolithic memory these days You DO know what CORE memory was
You understand why 31bit addressing and not 32bit You know that DEBE does
everything but eat You spell "kicks" CICS You can make a sentence out of all
acronyms, and your peers will understand it perfectly Your computer has
always been made up of multiple processors You can recite at least three
meanings for the ISC acronym You remember having to press REQUEST on the
console You know the keystroke for EOB (Alt + 5) You know domains were
something that Amdahl invented You know that REUS is not waste recycling You
know that a Coupling Facility has nothing to do with the railroad You know
that a control register has nothing to do with Point Of Sale When someone
says prism, you're not thinking of light diffraction If someone mentions a
"pizza oven" you don't immediately think of food You know the difference
between UNI, MP, AP, and SMP You think of availability in terms of end user
access to applications, not just recovering to the C:> prompt You consider
most horizontal scaling clustering to just be wanna-be's You remember HIPO
and know that it's not a zoo animal You know why you can't pop address plugs
across strings You know why blue cables and not grey You know what CUU means
You know what DISOSS is and it doesn't scare you You don't have to be told
when to press the Enter key You don't spend hours looking for the "ANY" key
You know who "the BUNCH" were (Burroughs, Univac, NCR, CDC and Honeywell)
You know that SPOOL is an acronym (Simultaneous Peripheral Operations
Online) You don't think that address space is an area on an envelope You've
successfully used PSW RESTART You know what Reset, Load, Rewind, Start had
to do with You understand the benefits of connection-based communication
architectures You know that TSO TEST could not test everthing You know that
just because your manager wrote some code, that didn't make it  authorized
You know that AC(1) had nothing to do with room temperature You know that
Carrier Sense Multiple Access / Collision Detect is how a token succeeds in
life.
You know the relative merits of Count Key Data and Relative Block Addressing
You know that //EOJ is not a web address.
You know what IEFBR14 does and how many APARs were taken on it (4) You now
what an APAR is  (Authorized Program Analysis Report)
You know that DITTO is an acronym.   For DOS, no, not that DOS, the other
DOS.  (IBM Data Interfile Transfer, Testing, and Operations Utility).
You know that FS didn't take over from the mainframe, but became a pretty
good System/38.
You don't understand all the furor about security... it's a given You think
that two computers that can't share the same data for update is silly and
archaic You know what Select Out Bypass is You know that BUS and TAG aren't
children's games You know that SPIE and STAE are not commands for your pet
You know that SPIE is not espionage You know that FETCH Protect isn't a way
to keep your dog from getting to the bone stash You think that all systems
should be able to run at 100% 24x7 without having issues You know that
24x7x365 was coined by someone who didn't understand math You don't find 6
months of continuous up-time without having to restart the system as unusual
You don't "boot" a system, you IPL it You don't know what throwin

Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Bruce Black]

Forgot to include CRLF's did we...? 


Came out OK in my email.   Maybe "we' through them away? 

--
Bruce A. Black
Senior Software Developer for FDR
Innovation Data Processing 973-890-7300
personal: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
sales info: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
tech support: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
web: www.innovationdp.fdr.com

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Gary Green]

Not at this end so you may have something there...

For others...

IIRC, DERF is spelled DIRF (I zapped it enough times...)

-Original Message-
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf
Of Bruce Black
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 5:06 PM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

>
>
>Forgot to include CRLF's did we...? 
>
Came out OK in my email.   Maybe "we' through them away? 

--
Bruce A. Black
Senior Software Developer for FDR
Innovation Data Processing 973-890-7300
personal: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
sales info: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
tech support: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
web: www.innovationdp.fdr.com

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Desi de la Garza]

Ahem,,,EREP maybe.

-Original Message-
From: Matthew Stitt [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 3:56 PM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

When someone mentions green card, you don't think of immigration
You understand the significance of version 3.8
You think of DASD not DISK
You html

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Gilbert Saint-Flour]

Matthew Stitt wrote:

> You understand the significance of version 3.8

Version 3.8 ?  Of what?

If you're thinking of MVS 3.8. you're not really a mainframer, because 
MVS 3.8 never existed.  True mainframers know that what some people 
call MVS 3.8 today was called, in fact, OS/VS2 Release 3.8 (MVS).

This concludes our nit-picking session.  Thank you for your attention.

-- 

 Gilbert Saint-Flour
 GSF Software
 http://gsf-soft.com/
 mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Joe Zitzelberger]

That is a different list -- "The you might use a non-archaic computer  
if..."


But thanks for pointing out that they forgot:

#1 - CRLF?  Weee dooont need nooo stinking CRLF in our card decks!

On Aug 9, 2005, at 4:57 PM, Gary Green wrote:


Ah  Forgot to include CRLF's did we...?

-Original Message-
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]  
On Behalf

Of Matthew Stitt
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 4:56 PM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

When someone mentions green card, you don't think of immigration You
understand the significance of version 3.8 You think of DASD not  
DISK You

know what a disk pack is When someone mentions RENT you don't think of
housing expense You know that WAD has nothing to do with gum You  
think that

...

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Shmuel Metz (Seymour J.)]

In <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, on 08/09/2005
   at 03:55 PM, Matthew Stitt <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> said:

>Your computer has always been made up of multiple processors

650/MP ;-)

>You know that a Coupling Facility has nothing to do with the
>railroad

Bordello?

>You remember HIPO and know that it's not a zoo animal

That's a matter of opinion. HIPO as promised did not match HIPO as
published.

>You know why blue cables and not grey

Serpents have nothing to do with Herpetology. You don't ride in a bus
of play tag.

>You know what DISOSS is and it doesn't scare you

Parse error; unasble to reconcile "and it doesn't scare you".

>You know that Carrier Sense Multiple Access / Collision Detect is
>how a token succeeds in life.

No; Token Ring is CSMA/CA, not CSMA/CD.

>You don't "boot" a system, you IPL it

Depending on the vendor you bootstrap it or dead start[1] it.

>You don't know what throwing an exception means,

Why not?

>If someone mentions BDAM, you know they're not swearing

If I mention BDAM or ISAM, I will probably be swearing in the same
conversation.

>You think you can fix the jam in the MFCM

You don't expand MF as multi-function.

>If you remember the sequence PCP, MFT, MVT.

SSS, MSS, MPS, VMS; PCP, MFT, MVT, MFT II.

>If you know that much of FORTRAN was writen in FORTRAN!!

Only FORTRAN (H).

>You know what MIPS originally meant, and can explain why it doesn't
>mean that today

It means the same thing today; it was undefined then and still is.

>You know that PCP is an operating system, not a recreational
>pharmaceutical

Some would allege a connection.

You don't play a drum and you don't slip a disk.

[1] Di mortui nihil nisi bonum.
 
-- 
 Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz, SysProg and JOAT
 ISO position; see  
We don't care. We don't have to care, we're Congress.
(S877: The Shut up and Eat Your spam act of 2003)

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[David Andrews]

On Tue, 2005-08-09 at 15:55 -0500, Matthew Stitt wrote:
[... the perfect Friday thread, albeit a few days early]

Also:

You know what NPRO means
Your primary performance measurement tool was once a wait light
You've ever eagerly anticipated letters from M. Kloomok
You've ever referred to Easycoder as "queasy odor"

(Regarding the 1403-N1: as with coffee, on poker nights you should not
leave a big jar of pennies on the printer.  They are hard to pick up
from a tile floor, and they travel a remarkable distance.)

-- 
David Andrews
A. Duda and Sons, Inc.
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Paul Hanrahan]

You might be a mainframer if you've ever played ring toss in the tape pool
out of boredom. 

Ever showed up for a, "cable pull," just to get free pizza.

Gotten a sick feeling while sitting at your desk outside the raised floor,
just after lunch, when all the lights flickered and things got real quiet.

-Original Message-
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf
Of David Andrews
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 8:48 AM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8


On Tue, 2005-08-09 at 15:55 -0500, Matthew Stitt wrote:
[... the perfect Friday thread, albeit a few days early]

Also:

You know what NPRO means
Your primary performance measurement tool was once a wait light You've ever
eagerly anticipated letters from M. Kloomok You've ever referred to
Easycoder as "queasy odor"

(Regarding the 1403-N1: as with coffee, on poker nights you should not leave
a big jar of pennies on the printer.  They are hard to pick up from a tile
floor, and they travel a remarkable distance.)

-- 
David Andrews
A. Duda and Sons, Inc.
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Nix, Robert P.]

I can't remember the exact machine now, but we had just replaced a 3081 with a 
new, single frame box, so the computer room was empty, with the single frame 
standing in the center (kind of like the IBM server ad). The building's power 
failed, and I went into the computer room to await power and to assess the 
damage. The room was completely dark, but the mainframe, standing alone in the 
center of the room, was still merrily running like nothing had happened. We'd 
come a long way :-) 


-- 
Robert P. Nix   Mayo Foundation
RO-CE-8-857 200 First Street SW
507-284-0844Rochester, MN 55905
-
"In theory, theory and practice are the same, but
 in practice, theory and practice are different."

-Original Message-
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Paul 
Hanrahan
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 7:53 AM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

Gotten a sick feeling while sitting at your desk outside the raised floor,
just after lunch, when all the lights flickered and things got real quiet.

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Bill Fairchild]

 
In a message dated 8/10/2005 6:45:09 A.M. Central Daylight Time,  
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
 
[speaking of MIPS]
>It means the same thing today; it was undefined then and still  is.

 
_http://www.webopedia.com/TERM/M/MIPS.html_ 
(http://www.webopedia.com/TERM/M/MIPS.html)  has  the original definition.  It 
may always have been 
meaningless, but it  was never without a definition.
 
Bill Fairchild

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Marian Gasparovic]

And you read a lot of neverending or offtopic threads on your popular
mailing list

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Alan Schwartz]

Darren must still be on vacation. 
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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Howard Brazee]

On  9-Aug-2005, [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Matthew Stitt) wrote:

> You know the keystroke for EOB (Alt + 5)

That's one I don't believe I've ever done.

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Shmuel Metz (Seymour J.)]

In <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, on 08/10/2005
   at 08:53 AM, Paul Hanrahan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> said:

>You might be a mainframer if you've ever played ring toss in the tape
>pool out of boredom.

Thunder never bothered you as a child, but now it makes you cringe.
 
-- 
 Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz, SysProg and JOAT
 ISO position; see  
We don't care. We don't have to care, we're Congress.
(S877: The Shut up and Eat Your spam act of 2003)

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Paul Hanrahan]

Misleading Indicator of Processor Speed.

-Original Message-
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf
Of Bill Fairchild
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 9:22 AM
To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8


 
In a message dated 8/10/2005 6:45:09 A.M. Central Daylight Time,  
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
 
[speaking of MIPS]
>It means the same thing today; it was undefined then and still  is.

 
_http://www.webopedia.com/TERM/M/MIPS.html_ 
(http://www.webopedia.com/TERM/M/MIPS.html)  has  the original definition.
It may always have been 
meaningless, but it  was never without a definition.
 
Bill Fairchild

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Shmuel Metz (Seymour J.)]

In <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, on 08/10/2005
   at 09:22 AM, Bill Fairchild <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> said:

>It may always have been meaningless, but it was never without a 
>definition.

A "definition" that does not define is not a definition. Saying that
it is millions of instructions per second does not define it unless
you say which instructions, in what sequence and with what operands,
or at least provide ground-rules so that the numbers aren't all over
the landscape.
 
-- 
 Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz, SysProg and JOAT
 ISO position; see  
We don't care. We don't have to care, we're Congress.
(S877: The Shut up and Eat Your spam act of 2003)

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Re: You might be a mainframer if... :-) V3.8

[Bill Fairchild]

 
In a message dated 8/11/2005 5:00:38 A.M. Central Daylight Time,  
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
 
>A "definition" that does not define is not a  definition.


 
Somehow I knew this was going to end up in a debate over the definition of  
the word "definition."  Webster's online English dictionary says a  
"definition" is:  "2 a : a statement expressing the  essential nature of 
something."  The 
definition was vague and useless, but  it was still a definition in my 
opinion.
 
Bill Fairchild

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