Re: [JOYnet] Re: [Joynet] Falling in love before mariage is wrong
Hello all Joyful people, It's nice to see so many joynetters talking on Love, which is a foundation of human relationship. Love starts with an emotion, it is directly connected with heart. We love with our hearts not with our minds. Our heart is involved first when we fall in love and with our minds we make a commitment. I agree perfectly with Ravi, Christopher and Godwin. We shud learn the way God loves us unconditionally. We are human beings and our emotions are always at play. God did not create robots but Human beings who have free will. Nowehere is it mentioned that 2 people getting married cannot or shud not be in love with each other before marriage. Yes I call it rightly falling in love. It's an act of humility which only Love can bring. It definitely starts with an attraction (physical, intellectual, etc) but doesn't continue to remain. By falling I mean when you start knowing the person you are in love you tend to know also how different the person is from you and then you encounter lot of falls even as u try to adjust, but important thereafter is rising where the mind gets involved. How can one define the rise without experiencing the fall. It's like how can you love the light if you don't know what is dark. Jesus says Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies then will it bear much greater fruit. I remember here the Love of Jesus, for He loved us so much he felled down three times for the sake of our love but He stood up and died (again fallen) but then was risen. Love is definitely an emotion but Christ asks us to take one step ahead, He teaches us to make Love our decision. Christ made a decision to die to fulfil the love towards His Father and His Love for us. Thats why we should involve Christ. The modern world has changed the definition of Love - made it more physical, sexual. But we shud understand the definition of Love in the words of God. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son to die for us. There are so many who say that I love you so much I can die for you and there are many who have done it. But so different both the contexts are - The first one is God's love which is saving whereas the other is selfish. We cannot deny the fact that by nature we also are selfish. There are very few who die to self everyday to make their partner happy. This is called sacrificial love which Christ teaches us. Love without sacrifice is mere words without any meaning. (eg. Love of Abraham to God) For me Love is an emotion which is natural and allowed by God (Rachael Jacob, etc). What is important is to know whether to cultivate this emotion or no. Before falling in love you cannot ask God whether I shud love this guy or know. God has made each and every one a free person our loving God respects our freedom. But on our part as His loving children, we have to surrender the person whom we like to Him and ask whether His will is there or no. After all God wants us to give us eternal joy not momentary happiness. And our Lord who knows what is the best for us will guide us. Who can understand Love other than God who is Love personified. Many also say that most of the love marriages fail. I don't completely disagree. But how many arranged marriages are successful? Instead of blaming the criteria of marriage, important to get to know the root cause of marriage failures. I cannot comment on the marriages being broken in other religions. When a Christian marriage breaks, then there can be only a spiritual reason. I can say this with confidence because it is the word of God that says what God unites, let no man divide. But it is not said in the Bible what God unites, let satan not divide.he he but it's surely not a joke. This was a revelation that God has given me which I wud like to share with you all. Many Christian marriages are broken because Christ is not present as a third important partner in a marriage. And why this happens because where there is sin, there God cannot come. The marriage couple gets so involved in the other preparations (reception, clothes, music, entertainment of guests, etc.) that they forget the most important thing and that is the sacrament of CONFESSION. When we are preparing for Sacrament of Matrimony, we so easily forget that Christ is also going to be our partner may it be love marriage or arranged marriage and thus instead of Christ, the third partner is non other than the evil one. Where satan is there, there only division and destruction is, how can such marriages be successful. Every couple getting married should prepare oneself well by confessing all their sins and coming before the Lord with pure heart, mind, body and soul. Such couples are blessed with the presence of Christ who is an active partner in marriage and though many ups and downs come in marriage, Christ will let them through. Because He is the common person out of all the differences Who will bind them together. And He is also
Re: [JOYnet] Re: [Joynet] Falling in love before mariage is wrong
Dear JYs I am not yet married, but would like to share my views ...I am assuming that we are speaking of falling in love in the context of looking for a marriage partner ... If I decide based on emotional assent, is it falling in love? If I make my decision after intellectual consent, am I avoiding the pitfalls of 'falling in love'? (Wo)Man is an integrated whole...comprising body, mind and spirit. If acting on emotions alone is wrong, then merely consenting with one's intellect could also be wrong. To expect only the intellectual part of me (or my that of my parents)to consent and expect not a stir from my emotions is to stoically deny that God has given me an endocrine system as he has given me a digestive or nervous system. To be swayed only by emotional highs without using my mental faculties is to make a decision as reliable as the shifting sands. What is needed is a balance of all our faculties - in this way we make a decision of a human being fully alive in the glory of God (St Ireneaus). It is like...my mind says 'Compatible, good family, suitable educated, sipritual , a JY :-) etc.. My feelings say 'Wow, it feels good , happy to be around with him, her., lots of peace..etc. My will says 'Im going ahead and making the decision'..This may not happen in every case but we need to remember that we are human beings holding a divine treasure and not purely spirit in nature .. What is most important is that we find the partner of God's choosing...the one in this perfect will for us. To me the question of falling in love is not the main one...It is how prepared I am ; spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically to receive the person God has chosen for me..an then, if I do fall in love with her/him, I am falling in love with the one God has chosenwho can question that? .Irrespective of how I meet her/him - courtship varies across cultures and God is 'broadminded' (to put it in human terms) enough to allow for such variations - whether I fall in love or not, God needs to be at the center of my decision making if I want to have a successful marriage.. Of course, we need to be careful to avoid lust and sexual aberrations etc and the examples of selfish and lustful encounters that we have in most movies The biblical examples ( Isaac and Rebecca Gen 24; Jacob and Rachel Gen 29; Ruth and Boaz Ruth 2 ; Tobias and Sarah Tob 7 ) do not happen in the same stereotyped fashion... they all happen differently..BUT , the common thread that runs thru is that all of them lived in the will of God. And that made finding their partner easier. So, rather than take a radical stance on falling in love, there seems to be a much broader perspective, where all the faculties of the individual are involved in choosing a partner after much prayer and seeking after the will of God.. Love and prayers, Christopher Chennai, India Wilson Thomas wrote: Pradeep, You are absolutely wrong. Falling in love before marriage is wrong, either for flesh, or for whatever divine relation we call it. I can show you hundreds of youngsters believing in these and get cheated. The right for God is not the right we choose, but He choose. He choose not as we think, but through OTHER right persons in right time. If we choose like modern society, we will be changing it every now and then. That is where the Spirit of the World will guide us through. Please dont get cheated... If we are lacking love in our life, don't borrow it from the street, but get it abundantly from Jesus. If you think that a girl is chosen for you, get married first with the permission of your guardians and Church. Then love her with whole your heart. Anything outside that is adultery. If not, we don't need such a divine sacrament called marriage. ONLY by this sacrament two flesh becomes one. Praise the Lord Wilson Thomas Singapore - Original Message - From: PRADEEP GEORGE [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: JoYNet [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Sunday, February 16, 2003 10:53 PM Subject: [JOYnet] RE::Valentine's day..is it ok to fall in love ? I think there is nothing wrong in falling love with some one. But young people are so much encouraged and pressurized to somehow fall in love even at the risk of making a wrong decision and regretting it till the end of our lives . This is not the right ..no doubt... Love is divine.But only for the sake of saying i too have an affiar is not the right way Ofcourse there is some one whom Jesus has selected for all of us from the very beginning.And he will reveal whom it is at the right time.We need not ry to know it before that , I think. We can (and we should) pray for the person whom God have selected for us from eternity .FOr that we need not know who it is... We had a preist , who taught us to pray for our future life partner. that was during the catechism classes in our tenth standard. I belive it is the right way and i do
