[lace-chat] Humour
An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Brisbane and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares." David To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Punctuation Problem - Answer
John, where Jack had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher. Susan Webster Canton, Ohio To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] Eats, Shoots and Leaves
On Wed, 19 May 2004 18:13:50 -0700, Weronika wrote: >As far as I know (currently taking the third term of a Japanese course, >so I may well be missing things), these are the only punctuation marks >in Japanese, and the periods normally look like little o's. Periods >work pretty much like in English and Polish. The commas are a little >vague (either that or I'm just vague on how to use them). Ah, right, >there are quotation marks too sometimes, which look like little corners: >"|_" before and _ >" |" after. The most confusing thing about Japanese is >that there generally aren't any spaces, other than in books for little >children. I just recently got to the "no-space" stage... I learnt to speak then read and write a bit of Thai nearly 20 years ago. Thai has alphabetical characters - 70 odd of them - not the Japanese picture representations of ideas. However Thai doesn't have much of a concept of a word. It is written as a long sequence of letters with gaps for the breaks between sentences. I don't remember there being any punctuation at all in my beginner's reader, nor on things I saw while I was there. I might have missed something like quotation marks though. -- Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking? Steph Peters, Manchester, England [EMAIL PROTECTED] Scanned by WinProxy http://www.Ositis.com/ To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] Humour
David, that is wonderful I intend sending it to my brother, who has step-children living interstate...you might just've saved him a lot of money! Ruth Budge (Sydney, Australia) --- David Collyer <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney and says, "I hate to > ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; > forty-five years of misery is enough." > > "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. > > "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. > "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you > call your sister in Brisbane and tell her," and he hangs up. > > Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck > they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." > > She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT > getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my > brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do > a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. > > The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, > "They're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares." Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Bread Statistics
Long live the Atkins diet, where half a loaf is better than a whole one... From: M. K. 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month! 6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis. 7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. 8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. 9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. 10. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. 12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions: 1. No sale of bread to minors. 2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, with complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. 3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. 4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. 5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] :) Fwd: Bread Statistics
Dear God in heaven!!! I've got two loaves in the kitchen right now!! Should I incinerate them? Shoot them? Drown them in a bucket? How do we protect ourselves? And how dangerous is pita bread? I was going to have a bedtime snack of some strawberry preserves on a slice of bread, but I think I'll go for a small bowl of ice cream instead. I just hope I'm not attacked by bread in retaliation for rejecting it. :) Thurlow Lancaster OH [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :)? Fwd: fundraising
Got this from DS, and am forwarding to the chat-at-large (rather than through the "subterrenean" route), because, while "somewhat political", it's unbiased, just reporting facts. And, I suspect, it's also fascinating (if I could only learn how to navigate it properly and "milk" it for all the info it contains ). It is also an interesting addendum to the -- periodically resurfacing on chat -- issue of privacy (and how much of it we have. Or not. As the case seems to be ). Having your lace postings "bandied" on Google may be unpleasant and, personally, I'm not overfond of the yearly Visa "summary" of my spending, but this is "something else". To people who still have illusions of being able to "keep themselves to themselves", it's *beyond* "a bit scary"... I had no idea that a track of the *checks* I write is a matter of public record; just as well I never could afford (or justify ) big political donations :) From: D.D. Dunno if you've seen this site: http://www.fundrace.org/ The money maps are pretty cool [...] The site also lets you look up what people have contributed, by address or by name. See who's contributed how much to whom in your neighborhood and bake them a cake / toilet paper their yard! (Yes, it's a bit scary.) --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] :) Fwd: Bread Statistics
Thurlow wrote: >Dear God in heaven!!! I've got two loaves in the kitchen right now!! Should I incinerate them? Shoot them? Drown them in a bucket? How do we protect ourselves?> Omigosh--YES Preferably all three in reverse order. And don't ever turn your back on a baguette. >And how dangerous is pita bread? How do you think the Middle East got this way? From millennia of eating pita And pita leads to hummus and tahina and olive oil and chaos. Avital To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] Eats, Shoots and Leaves
> I learnt to speak then read and write a bit of Thai nearly 20 years ago. > Thai has alphabetical characters - 70 odd of them - not the Japanese picture > representations of ideas. Actually, Japanese has two different syllabic alphabets with about 50 characters, plus thousands of "kanji" (the really complicated Chinese-like ones). > However Thai doesn't have much of a concept of a > word. It is written as a long sequence of letters with gaps for the breaks > between sentences. I don't remember there being any punctuation at all in > my beginner's reader, nor on things I saw while I was there. I might have > missed something like quotation marks though. That's very interesting. Even though it doesn't use spaces, Japanese does have a pretty clear concept of a word - or maybe they just made it up to teach to foreigners ;-) Weronika To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] The "peculiar" languages
On May 21, 2004, at 1:00, Weronika Patena wrote In response to Steph Peters' message): That's very interesting. Even though it doesn't use spaces, Japanese does have a pretty clear concept of a word - or maybe they just made it up to teach to foreigners ;-) Don't know about that... But I do remember that my students (I taught ESL to some Japanese girls, for a year, about 10 yrs ago or so) used to have those "funny" dictionaries... When I tried to understand how the dictionary was arranged, they told me it was according to the *number of strokes* drawn in a particular ?hieroglyph? used for a word (or phrase)... I found that method even more intimidating than Roget's dictionary of synonyms/antonyms before it went over to alphabetical listings... As bad, indeed, as the yellow pages in the phone-book or a 'putert search (how on earth do you *begin* to guess???) And, speaking of puters and guessing... I explored the fundraising website a wee-bit (within my limited capabilities), and recommend searching by *address*, not by name... All of my near neighbours are either as poor as I am, or as uninvolved; I came up empty on that score... But, the *address* search was *very* rewarding It started with a 0.1 mile radius, and broadened (I quit looking after 35 mile distance was passed; didn't know anyone there anyway). Truly fascinating... I'll have to ask DH tomorrow if he knows some of the U-professors names mentioned; just as well to know who to steer clear of . Though it was nice to find out that we sent our child (then aged 3) to the "right" pre-school, ran byt the "right" person, all those years ago... --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
