L&I Tuesdays' Jokes
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: The Top 16 Differences in the New, Friendlier IRS 16> Old form: "1090" New form: "10-40, Good Buddy!" 15> Prank "Get Out of Jail Free" card sent with audit notice. 14> After particularly painful audits, agents don dark glasses and flash "Men In Black" memory eraser thingy in your face. 13> "Tax shelters" now referred to as "Thatched-Roof Income Cottages." 12> Coffee and tea served while agents wait for Viagra pills to take effect. 11> Instead of kicking you in the family jewels with an iron boot, agents now kick you in the family jewels with a more forgiving penny loafer. 10> All audits conducted in the comfort of Willie Nelson's former home. 9> Rectal probes now warmed to room temperature before audits. 8> Just say "Supersize It!" and Janet Reno will personally conduct your audit. 7> New motto: "Two things are certain: FUN And Taxes!" 6> Rifle butt to the head now accompanied by "Please" and "Thank you." 5> Threatening form letters now lightly scented with CK One and begin, "It's Audit-Doody Time!" 4> Either pay required fines, or go double-or-nothing in a game of whack-a-mole. 3> Agents now required to start with "Hi, my name is Jim, and I'll be screwing you today." 2> Those new commercials featuring a turtleneck-clad George Clooney and catchy "Fork Over, America" jingle. and the Number 1 Difference in the New, Friendlier IRS... 1> Unless that's a typo, looks like you're getting an Audi this year! --- The Top 16 Changes in the New "Love Boat" 16> Safe sex activists insist on mandatory condom-purchasing scene before each couple pairs off on "The No Glove, No Love Boat." 15> Newly-divorced Kathie Lee beds a different man every week while humming, "If He Could See Me Now." 14> Captain Kennedy is too drunk to notice the ship's course is from Boston to New York City and back 6 times a day. 13> For some reason, every episode is 3 hours long and involves an iceberg. 12> New crew member Weasel, the ship's Sexual Harassment Officer, kind of kills the mood. 11> "Day 47: Had to eat another passenger, but now we'll have an even number for the shuffleboard tournament tomorrow." [ The Top Five List [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.topfive.com ] 10> Captain Clinton French kisses each woman passenger as they board. 9> Hopes for a second season dashed when James Cameron signs on to direct 13th episode. 8> Only Hanson could turn a merely annoying TV theme song into a teeth-grinding, hair-pulling, ear-bleeding experience. 7> Wacky hijinks ensue when Purser George Michael forced to fill in for bathroom attendant. 6> Ship's Dr. Kevorkian drowns Pia Zadora in the pool, and throws Andy Griffith overboard. [ The Top Five List [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.topfive.com ] 5> Isaac, the Bartender replaced by Phil, the Starbucks Guy. 4> Goodbye, Dramamine. Hello, Viagra! 3> At the end of every episode: "They killed Leonardo! You bastards!!" 2> During a relapse, Julie forces Captain Stuebing to take the boat into Colombian waters. and the Number 1 Change in the New "Love Boat"... 1> Cost-cutting results in combined character, Captain Bartender Hazelwood. -- SICK IN CHURCH A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" Mom asked. "Yes." "How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick'." - Almost DARWIN Award Winners These are not DARWIN Award Winners, but they are pretty close... AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence... ..With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up... ..And What Was Plan B? An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper t
L&I U.K. Political practise
Richard Soderstrom <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Steve: Terry wrote you the following. Is this true? Government financing for a political campaign?? I would think everyone in the country would run. How do they prevent having a thousand candidates for each office Sody You give us far too much credit, Steve. I am deeply appreciative of the way the English treat their politicians. I guess most everyone on this list is educated enough to know that most anyone can get government financing to run for parliament in England and there are all sorts of bizarre characters and parties that run and put forth candidates. Margaret Thatcher had to run in her district with a fellow that wanted the government to furnish a landing pad for arriving aliens and dressed in a costume that looked like Herblock's talking bombs. I only wish I could have seen the "Iron Lady" in debate with this candidate and standing for photo opportunities with him. I bet her stiff upper lip trembled at times. OTOH this former English colony really takes idiot politicians seriously. You would think we would have learned something from you. Best, Terry The dirty old Gandy Dancer Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I Expert: Jonesboro shootings gender-based
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Viola Provenzano) writes: Hi Sue, It does seem that males are not reacting well to the female struggle for liberation. Our new so-called "freedoms" (to have a punishing career and come home each night to take care of husband and children)are a threat. This is probably biologically determined. In most vertebrate species the male dominates and does not put up with any nonsensical ideas from females wanting to do their own thing. This male dominance idea is quickly passed from father to son. Vi You wrote: . . .<<>> _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I George Michael Arrested For 'Lewd Conduct' (http://www.yahoo.co.uk/hea
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Viola Provenzano) writes: Hi Bill, I guess it was called "The Gay Nineties rag, waltzes and popular :). One thing for sure there was lots of good music written then that is still enjoyably around. Ah, yes, the "beastiality" discussion I do recall and she who claimed that instead of a perversion it was okay behavor as long as the animal enjoyed it. What a crackpot! Abba is okay, although I haven't heard much of them: My musical tastes are eclectic for the most part. The nineteen eighties produced some really good rock and roll, reggae, R & B and popular. It seems to me that the nineteen nineties music has greatly degenerated in quality and singers now bray slurred lyrics into microphones with the drums and musical accompaniment (if one can call it that) drowning out the words. I'll never get enough of Elton John, though. He just gets better and better. :) Vi _ You wrote: HI Vi, Hmm, I wonder what the music from the Gay 90's would be called? I guess it depends on whether it's the 1890's or 1990's. Sorry about the vagueness of the "lamb" comment. I was thinking of "had"in the biblical sense and it got me laughing when I thought of the discussions on the CTV list that centered on bestiality What about the music of Abba? _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I .COTD Christopher, Joseph
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Viola Provenzano) writes: Hi Kathy, Society will be fortunate if this psychomaniac is killed by other inmates - which is probably a distinct possibility. Crazy or sane, he isn't worth the cost of his keep. Have a good rest from L & I. We will miss your leadership and posts. Vi __ You wrote <<<:A pathological racist, Christopher launched a one-man war against blacksin September 1980, claiming victims from upstate New York tosouthwestern Georgia. In his wake, he left an atmosphere of bigotry andviolence that provoked a string of hostile confrontations in communities not known for racial animosity. His legacy of death and hatred lingers to the present day, as several of the crimes connected to his rampage -- or inspired by his example -- are officially unsolved. . .>>> _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I Fred Goldman Is Newest UPN Star
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Viola Provenzano) writes: Hi Sue, IMO this program on American justice is long overdue, and whether Fred Goldman comes across as doleful or happy is irrelevant. The public needs to be educated concerning the chicanery that goes on in a courtroom by high-priced lawyers in the name of "defense". Two years after the Simpson bloody double murder, with the killer able to buy his way out of paying for his crime, I am still meeting people who swallowed Cochran and Co's bull about cops planting blood and glove while ignoring completely the solid, scientific DNA evidence: that size 12, ugly-assed shoe print, blood on the bronco and Simpson's sox, the limo driver's testimony, hair fibers matching Simpson's, his cut finger and his contradictory stories of how he got the cut and where he was during the time of the murders!!! Incredible!!! If any writer came up with a script like this, no publisher would touch it. Vi _ You wrote: . . .<<>> _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I .COTD Christopher, Joseph
"Ronald Helm" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: >Have a good rest from L & I. We will miss your leadership and posts. > >Vi Very quiet on the Law list today. I hope this is not a sign of what is to come whenever Kathy wants a break. C'mon guys and gals, the cats away, the mice should play! Ron 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. [EMAIL PROTECTED] >__ Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I COTD: Christofi, Styllou
Kathy E <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: A native of Cyprus, born in 1900, Styllou Christofi was tried, in 1925, on a charge of murdering her mother-in-law by ramming a lighted torch down the old woman's throat. She persuaded a jury of her innocence and was released, but her problems with in-laws were not at an end. In 1953, Christofi went to live with her son and his German wife of fifteen years in Hampstead, England. The women failed to hit it off, and things became so tense around the house that Hella Christofi announced her intention of taking the children to Germany for a holiday in July 1954. She let her husband understand that she did not expect to find his mother in the house when she returned. On the night of July 28, Styllou ambushed her daughter in the bathroom, knocking her unconscious with an ash plate lifted from the stove. Dragging Hella into the kitchen, she strangled the younger woman with a scarf and tried to hide the evidence by pouring paraffin over the body, setting it on fire. In moments, the flames leaped out of control, threatening to consume the house and her grandchildren, sleeping upstairs. At 1 a.m., a married couple parked near Hampstead station were approached by Christofi, babbling in broken English about a fire at her home. Returning with her to the scene, they doused the flames and found a woman's body, charred in places, with the livid mark of strangulation still visible on her throat. Police were summoned, and a neighbor came forward to describe Christofi stirring the flames around a prostrate "tailor's dummy." Prison doctors found Styllou Christofi insane, but she refused to permit an insanity defense at her trial. Convicted and sentenced to death in October 1954, her subsequent appeals were dismissed and she was executed after three doctors pronounced her sane. Her son did not attend the hanging. -- Kathy E "I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow isn't looking too good for you either" http://members.delphi.com/kathylaw/ Law & Issues Mailing List http://pw1.netcom.com/~kathye/rodeo.html - Cowboy Histories http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/2990/law.htm Crime photo's Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I We got music
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (William J. Foristal) writes: Hi Vi, Abba has provided the background music to some very funny movies. "Muriel's Wedding" and Priscilla Queen of the Desert are two of my favorites. I like most kinds of music except for Country and Western. Just never did get into the twang and nasal singing style. But there have been some great performers who developed their own style out of Country and Western that I really like. Lyle Lovett for example. Also, like jazz, blues and classical. Favorite radio station plays a mix of today's hits and the oldies. Favorite blues performers: Rod Piazza and the Mighty Flyers Bill On Wed, 15 Apr 1998 12:00:22 -0700 [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Viola Provenzano) writes: >[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Viola Provenzano) writes: > >Hi Bill, >I guess it was called "The Gay Nineties rag, waltzes and popular :). >One >thing for sure there was lots of good music written then that is still >enjoyably around. >Ah, yes, the "beastiality" discussion I do recall and she who claimed >that instead of a perversion it was okay behavor as long as the animal >enjoyed it. What a crackpot! Abba is okay, although I haven't >heard much of them: My musical tastes are eclectic for the most part. > The nineteen eighties produced some really good rock and roll, >reggae, R & B and popular. It seems to me >that the nineteen nineties music has greatly degenerated in quality >and >singers now bray slurred lyrics into microphones with the drums and >musical accompaniment (if one can call it that) drowning out the >words. > >I'll never get enough of Elton John, though. He just gets better and >better. :) > >Vi >_ >You wrote: >HI Vi, >Hmm, I wonder what the music from the Gay 90's would be called? I >guess it depends on whether it's the 1890's or 1990's. >Sorry about the vagueness of the "lamb" comment. I was thinking of >"had"in the biblical sense and it got me laughing when I thought of >the >discussions on the CTV list that centered on bestiality > > >What about the music of Abba? > > >_ >You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get >completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno >at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: >[EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: >subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Prom mom offered deal
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: I guess babies just aren't worth anything. :(( FREEHOLD, N.J., April 15 (UPI) -- A 19-year-old New Jersey woman who gave birth in the bathroom during her high school prom and dumped the infant in the trash could strike a plea deal making her eligible for parole in four years. The Newark Star-Ledger reports Monmouth County prosecutors have offered Melissa Drexler a deal that would allow her to plead guilty to aggravated manslaughter, which carries a sentence of 12 to 15 years. Drexler is charged with killing her baby boy after delivering him in the bathroom stall at her senior prom in Aberdeen Township last June 6. If convicted of murder, she faces 30 years to life. Defense attorney Steven Secare told the Star-Ledger in a recent interview that Drexler, free on bail, stays at her Lacey Township home unable to get a job because no one wants to hire her. Prosecutor John Kaye said the newborn, which was born healthy with no defects of any kind, was placed in a small plastic bag used for disposing sanitary napkins and then placed in a trash basket. The infant was discovered by maintenance workers. Kaye said that after the birth, Drexler told friends she wasn't feeling well, ate a salad, and danced at least one dance. One of the Drexler's classmates tells the Star-Ledger: ``She ruined something that was supposed to be a memorable night for a lot of people. ... She did the wrong thing, and I hate her for that.'' -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Group joins appeal of beef suit
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: AMARILLO, Texas, April 11 (UPI) -- The beef defamation dispute pitting Oprah Winfrey and her show against Texas cattlemen has deepened after the Texas Beef Group and other cattle companies joined an appeal against a jury decision acquitting Winfrey and her show. Cattleman Paul Engler filed an appeal March 27 after an Amarillo jury acquitted Winfrey, her show and a guest of allegations that their comments defamed beef and cost the beef producers millions of dollars. The civil trial ended in February. Court documents show that Texas Beef Group, Perryton Feeders Inc., Maltese Cross Cattle Co., Bravo Cattle Co., Alpha 3 Cattle Co. and Dripping Springs Cattle Co. joined the appeal Friday in Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans. In June 1996, Engler sued in U.S. District Court, two months after Winfrey and a guest discussed the health threat from beef consumption. The April l6, l996, show was broadcast during an international scare over so-called ``mad cow'' disease, which devastated cattle herds in the United Kingdom. The disease, which can affect the brain, poses a threat to humans who consume infected beef. After a trial that turned hundreds of Panhandle residents into stargazers out to catch a glimpse of Winfrey and her Hollywood guests, jurors acquitted Winfrey and the other defendants. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Girl involved in second choking attack
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: SAN ANTONIO, April 13 (UPI) -- A 17-year-old girl whose alleged attack on a San Antonio teacher caused a public outcry is being sought by police after allegedly trying to strangle a school bus driver. Northside School District spokesman Larry Meyer says today the girl, who has not been identified, tried to strangle a bus driver with a nylon cord after he ordered her not to stand up on the bus. The driver was treated for minor injuries, and the girl fled after the attack. She was released from a juvenile detention facility last month and ordered to wear an electronic monitoring device. Police looking for the girl say they believe she has removed the device. Bexar County prosecutor Steve Hilbig is trying to get the girl certified as an adult on charges she attacked a reading teacher at Taft High School in January, when she was only 16. Some parents were outraged that Northside school officials could not expel the girl following the attack. State law allows expulsion only if an assault on a teacher qualifies as a felony assault. Meyer says the attack on the driver is severe enough to get the girl expelled. Charges in the case are pending. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Escaped convict caught again
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., April 9 (UPI) -- An escaped convict from Texas with an ironic sense of humor is again in jail, this time in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Steven Jay Russell, who was serving a sentence for stealing $800,000 from a Houston business, has been dubbed ``King Con'' and ``Houdini'' by authorities for slipping out of jails three times -- always on Friday the 13th. Russell is the only inmate to have escaped from Houston's Harris County Jail twice. In 1996, he demonstrated his nerve by impersonating a judge, calling the district clerk's office, ordering his bond reduced from $900,000 to $45,000 and walking away from the facility. Russell's pulled off his most recent escape from the facility March 13 by posing as an inmate dying of AIDS. Jail officials said Russell managed to get a ``special needs'' parole to a south Texas nursing home after convincing someone to call the jail to release him to a Houston hospital for treatment. Once loose, Russell was able to his get lover transferred from the Houston jail to a Dallas lockup, where Russell actually visited him several times by posing as the man's lawyer. In past escapes, Russell has posed as an FBI agent, a judge and a physician. Investigators from Texas and Florida tracked Russell to Sunrise, Fla. , where he was arrested Tuesday night as he was getting into his car. Authorities believe they might have a little comfort room as arrangements are made to transport Russell from Florida to Texas; the next Friday the 13th comes in November. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I British government defends "crime college" kids' prison
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: LONDON, April 14 (AFP) - The British government defended Tuesday plans to open a special detention centre for child criminals that critics claim will become a "college for crime" and cost more than staying at the Ritz hotel. The first such privately run centre for children aged 12 to 14 is to open on Friday in the southern town of Medway and will hold 40 of the country's worst repeat juvenile offenders, who have committed long lists of crimes but are too young for an adult prison. The aim of the facility is to rehabilitate tearaways who have been convicted of three or more imprisonable offences, such as stealing cars. Serious child criminals, such as murderers, can be put into local young offenders' homes, but the courts are reluctant to clog up these facilities with the less serious young criminals, who are usually kept at home under supervision of social workers. The children will be supervised by 26 staff, who will mostly have backgrounds in the social services rather than prison institutions, including nurses, teachers, social workers and gym instructors. To encourage the children to take responsibility for themselves, they will be made to do their own washing and cooking, and will also do at least 25 hours of school work a week. The setting up of the first of five planned centres was contracted out under the previous Conservative government and lambasted at the time by the then opposition Labour Party as creation of "colleges of crime." Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair's government is keen to crack down on youth crime and now finds itself defending the idea, while stressing that the centres will not be jails, but places where children can be put on track. Critics are homing in on the alleged cost of the first centre and fears that putting young criminals together for long periods will only lead to them developing worse habits. According to the Children's Society the cost will be 5,000 pounds (8,350 dollars) per child per week, ten times the cost of top private schools Eton and Harrow, and twice the price of staying at a luxury hotel. "College of Crime. Outrage as 5,000 pound a week children's prison is unveiled," complained The Mirror tabloid daily on Tuesday. Alun Michael, minister of state for home affairs, dismissed these figures as "taken out of the air," but said that the cost could not be disclosed because negotiations are still ongoing for the four other proposed centres. Children's Society chief executive Ian Sparks said kid criminals should be kept nearer their homes, not sent away. "We are in danger of creating dumping grounds for the children society doesn't know what to do with," he said. The principal officer for the National Association for the Care and Resettlement of Offenders, Paul Cavadino, said the five centres would cost more than 30 million pounds a year and that the money should instead have been spent on "developing intensive supervision programmes in the community." Nick Metcalfe, a spokesman for the private security firm Group 4, which is setting up the centre, said "there is clearly some punishment of depriving someone of their liberty. They will be away from home maybe for a year." "There will be a regime that will not involve sitting around watching too much television ... it's going to be fairly brisk," he said. The problem of very young criminals has become a hot political issue thanks to well publicised cases of boys barely in their teens notching up breath-taking crime records almost with impunity. Tommy Laws, now 17, became nationally known as "Spider Boy" when he was just 13 for his method of using roof tops to escape the scene of crimes, including the theft of 190 cars. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Petrocelli Book
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Joan: I just found out tonight that Petrocelli's book will be out on the 28th of this month. Sue -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I 'Spam King' Says He's Sorry
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: President Of Junk E-Mail Company Abdicates, Apologizes Online PHILADELPHIA, Posted 2:45 p.m. April 15, 1998 -- The "Spam King" has declared himself dethroned. Good riddance, says anybody who's had their e-mail box stuffed with spam, what online folks have dubbed commercial bulk e-mail -- or junk e-mail. Sanford Wallace is the president of Cyber Promotions Inc., a junk e-mail company that once sent out as many as 25 million unsolicited ads, according to The Associated Press. Wallace, hardly embarrassed about his reputation for being the most hated man on the Internet, likes to refer to himself as "Spamford." Now, the wire service says that he has apologized to his unwilling subjects and promised to stop flooding their e-mail boxes. Over the weekend, he reportedly sent a message to his critics on an Internet newsgroup dedicated to fighting spam. He said he will never go back to his old ways. Instead, writes AP, he will support anti-spam legislation. Hmmm. The Spam King also tells the wire service he's been worn down by legal battles and the struggle to get his operations back online. Let's hope he's sincere and that his spamming subordinates follow his lead. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Retrial of confessed murderer
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla., April 13 (UPI) -- Testimony is set to begin in the trial of a Daytona Beach woman who confessed to a slaying recorded on videotape and conspiracy in another death. Deidre Hunt was on death row for her crimes, but was given a trial by the Florida Supreme Court when it was learned her lawyer sold her story to a tabloid television program before her confession. Hunt and her lover Kostas Fotopoulos were sent to death row for the 1989 murders of Bryan Chase and Kevin Ramsey in an murder-for-hire scheme. Fotopoulos, married to a wealthy woman, owned a Daytona Beach billiards parlor where Hunt worked as a cocktail waitress. The two allegedly plotted the death of Lisa Fotopoulos to collect her life insurance. Investigators say lovers picked Bryan Chase, a teenage runaway, as the triggerman, proposing a test to see if he had the courage to commit the crime. They say Fotopoulos videotaped as Hunt pumped several bullets into Ramsey, another runaway, as he stood tied to a tree. Chase was allegedly given a gun and told to break into the Fotopoulos' home and kill Mrs. Fotopoulos, but Chase did not know it was a setup. Prosecutors contend the runaway was shot and killed seconds after he put a bullet in the forehead of Mrs. Fotopoulos, who survived the homicide attempt. Hunt's attorney plans a battered-woman syndrome defense contending his client had fallen under the control of Fotopoulos. The prosecution is asking for the death penalty. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Kevorkian associate surrenders
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: DETROIT, April 15 (UPI) -- A former live-in girlfriend of a patient of Jack Kevorkian says one of Kevorkian's associates sexually assaulted her 5-year-old daughter. Neal Nicol, 58, of Waterford Township surrendered to police Tuesday and was arraigned on a charge of first-degree criminal sexual conduct. The child's mother is the former girlfriend of Thomas Hyde, 30, of Novi, Mich., whose body was found Aug. 4, 1993, in Kevorkian's van on Belle Isle in Detroit. Hyde, who suffered from Lou Gehrig's disease, is the father of the child. He was the 17th person to die with Kevorkian's help. Waterford police released few details of the sexual assault case. The mother and the girl lived with Nicol this year. She could not be reached for comment. Nicol was released on $5,000 bond pending a May 14 court hearing. Nicol's attorney Michael Odette describes the complaint as ``unfounded and weird.'' Nicol first helped Kevorkian in the 1960s with early blood transfusion experiments at Pontiac General Hospital. The Walled Lake woman met Nicol in August 1993, about the time of Hyde's death, Odette said, adding the pair ``didn't date for a year or two.'' The woman and her daughter moved in with Nicol in August 1997, ``but it didn't last,'' Odette said. In December, Nicol asked the woman to move out. In December, Nicol called social workers saying the girl was being abused by her mother. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I That same rock
Richard Soderstrom <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, > 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should > hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' > -Larry Miller > > "What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?" >--Marilyn Pittman > *** > "When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in > the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?" > --Robin Williams >*** > "A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new > boyfriend in bed together. > Solution? I sent them to her dad." >--Christopher Case > > "Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should > treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave > you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance > pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." >--Bob Ettinger > > "I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always > say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my > mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her." > --Ellen DeGeneres > *** > "I've been doing the Fonda workout: The Peter Fonda workout. That's > where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my > sister's house and ask her for money." >--Kevin Meaney > *** > "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. > 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. > I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any > witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too." > --Jake Johansen > > "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." > --Dick Cavett > * > "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least > they can find Kuwait." >--A. Whitney Brown > > "Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat > pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has > spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart > everybody?" >--Jon Stewart > > "My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in > the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying > to teach you how to swim.' " >--Paula Poundstone > *** > "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly > in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? > Do tall people burn slower?" >--Warren Hutcherson > > "I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the > Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be > like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache." >--Jack Mayberry > > "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" >--John Mendoza >* > "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal > skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: > Duh." >--Conan O'Brien > > "When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and > they would only play with each other." >--Rita Rudner > *** > "I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting > C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually > bought a congressman." --Bruce Baum >** > "It had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to > use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That > may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from > animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners." >--Jeff Stilson > ***
Re: L&I Fred Goldman Is Newest UPN Star
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Vi: He already has one state that is putting that law about children not having to live or be in the custody of murders on the books. I didn't realize it but in almost every state a person can be convicted of murdering their spouse and still retain custody of the children. Sue > Hi Sue, > > IMO this program on American justice is long overdue, and whether Fred > Goldman comes across as doleful or happy is irrelevant. The public needs > to be educated concerning the chicanery that goes on in a courtroom by > high-priced lawyers in the name of "defense". > > Two years after the Simpson bloody double murder, with the killer able to > buy his way out of paying for his crime, I am still meeting people who > swallowed Cochran and Co's bull about cops planting blood and glove while > ignoring completely the solid, scientific DNA evidence: that size 12, > ugly-assed shoe print, blood on the bronco and Simpson's sox, the limo > driver's testimony, hair fibers matching Simpson's, his cut finger and > his contradictory stories of how he got the cut and where he was during > the time of the murders!!! Incredible!!! > > If any writer came up with a script like this, no publisher would touch > it. > > Vi -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Paula Jones Will Appeal
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: April 15) -- Paula Jones will ask a federal appeals court to reverse a judge's dismissal of her sexual harassment lawsuit against President Bill Clinton, CNN has learned. A formal announcement is scheduled for Thursday afternoon. But sources tell CNN's Bob Franken that after a day of haggling and argument among lawyers and Jones and her representatives, a decision has been made to proceed. There has been friction between lawyers from the Dallas law firm that has been representing Jones, the Rutherford Institute -- the conservative group that has been financing the suit -- and Susan Carpenter McMillan, Jones' spokeswoman and adviser. Sources say the parties will meet again Thursday morning to work out the final details on an agreement outlining the conditions under which they will proceed during the appeal. Jones, a former Arkansas state employee, alleges that Clinton exposed himself and requested that she perform oral sex during an encounter in a Little Rock hotel room in 1991. Clinton was governor of Arkansas at the time. Clinton has said he doesn't recall meeting Jones and has denied any wrongdoing. Last month, U.S. District Judge Susan Webber Wright in Little Rock dismissed the suit, saying that even if Jones' allegations were true, Clinton's conduct would not meet the legal standards necessary to constitute sexual harassment. Jones' appeal of Wright's decision will go to the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, based in St. Louis, which handles federal appeals from Arkansas. McMillan told reporters that in deciding on whether to appeal, "You have to look at what's the human toll, what's the financial toll, what are the chances (of success)." She noted that the St. Louis appeals court reverses about one-third of the cases it receives in which a judge dismisses a case before trial, which is called summary judgment. "They don't like summary judgments," she said. CNN plans live coverage of Jones' news conference, set for 2:50 p.m. EDT. -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I Expert: Jonesboro shootings gender-based
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Vi: Although you are probably right about everything you said here, I honestly think the reason the kid shot the girls was because he was pissed off at one of them for not returning his "love and attention", just as he told another kid. As for the other girls and teacher getting shot they were probably with the girl that got shot, or just happened to be in the way of a bullet. Whatever the reason, it really is getting bad. I heard today that two of the boys that raped the 3 year old in Texas won't even be held liable for what they did. The law won't allow it. Now that is really sick, IMO. Sue > > Hi Sue, > > It does seem that males are not reacting well to the female struggle for > liberation. Our new so-called "freedoms" (to have a punishing career > and come home each night to take care of husband and children)are a > threat. This is probably biologically determined. In most vertebrate > species the male dominates and does not put up with any nonsensical ideas > from females wanting to do their own thing. This male dominance idea is > quickly passed from father to son. > > Vi -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I We got music
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Bill: I liked the music of Abba. But then again there isn't much music I don't like, including country. :) I even like Celtic and Native American music. And I also liked the Village People. :) Sue > > Hi Vi, > > Abba has provided the background music to some very funny movies. > "Muriel's Wedding" and Priscilla Queen of the Desert are two of my > favorites. > > I like most kinds of music except for Country and Western. Just never > did get into the twang and nasal singing style. But there have been some > great performers who developed their own style out of Country and Western > that I really like. Lyle Lovett for example. Also, like jazz, blues and > classical. Favorite radio station plays a mix of today's hits and the > oldies. > > Favorite blues performers: Rod Piazza and the Mighty Flyers > > Bill -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I Presidential Scandals in U.S. History
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Vi: Didn't all this with Eisenhower happen (if it did) during WWII? If it was and he didn't do anything while over in Europe, he would be the only guy that didn't, I bet. :) Sue > > Hi Terry, > > Usually where there is smoke, there is fire. Ike, being human and away > from Maime for a long period of time probably did have a flirtation. > People were romantic is those days and did not necessarily hop into bed. > There may have been anything from the exchange of a few kisses to a > full-blown love affair going on and we may never know for sure. > > Whatever he may have done abroad, though, he did the honorable thing at > home and stood by his wife and children. > > Vi -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I Jokes for Wednesday
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: The Top 16 Surprises in the Final Episode of "Seinfeld" 16> 105-year-old Elaine recounts how Jerry's apartment hit an iceberg. 15> Jerry reveals to all that he, Paul Rieser and Richard Lewis are actually the same person. 14> Mulder and Scully bust in to kill Kramer, who was sent here as part of a diabolical alien plot, but he's already escaped to join the cast of "3rd Rock from the Sun." 13> Jerry wakes up next to Bob Newhart and realizes it was all just a dream. 12> *George* awakens from a long nightmare to find Bobby Ewing in his shower. 11> Bikini waxing accident leaves Elaine follically impaired. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) 10> George Michael guest stars as "Master Of His Domain." 9> Jerry finally accomplishes his goal of dating every single woman in NYC. His number is then retired into the rafters with Wilt Chamberlain's. 8> Everyone watches helplessly as the Soup Nazi invades Poland. 7> George gets crushed by a falling beam at Yankee Stadium. 6> Jerry, Kramer, George and Newman compare their nude sketches of Elaine. 5> Newman goes postal -- 8 dead, 14 wounded. 4> A wacky new spin-off, "Minefield", is born when Elaine introduces the gang to her pregnant "roommate", played by the irrepressible Jodie Foster. 3> Jerry's hot new girlfriend tricks him into appearing with her on the "I'm dating a prissy, neurotic mama's boy!" episode of Jenny Jones. 2> Kramer shoots himself in the head mere moments after Jerry finally locks his front door. and Top5's Number 1 Surprise in the Final Episode of "Seinfeld"... 1> Special surprise appearance by Shoshanna Lowenstein's obstetrician. -- The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. "Your Holiness" said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths." The Pope thought is was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Have we not," he asked "a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel?" "None that plays golf very well," a cardinal said. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklas, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a cardinal; then ask him to play Benjamin Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match." Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad news, Your Holiness," said the world-class golfer. "Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope. "Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous." "There's bad news?" the Pope asked. Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Woods by three strokes." -- "Insurance Proceeds" A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "How do you start a flood?" ~~ "An Accident" A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who carefully closed it and put it away. "Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor. "Sure; after the police leave," replied the lawyer. ~~ "Taking It With You" An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 f
L&I "GRINNING O.J. TAKES A 'STAB' AT HUMOR.
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: The guy is bonkers, IMO. Sue "GRINNING O.J. TAKES A 'STAB' AT HUMOR. O.J. Simpson went bananas after a recent TV interview, pretending to stab a reporter with a piece of fruit while mugging for the camera, the New York Post reports today. TV footage shows a wild-eyed Simpson, with a crazy grin on his face, wielding a banana like a knife and hacking away at BBC reporter Ruby Wax. Wax said she was stunned by the horseplay: 'O.J. said he had a surprise for me and I genuinely was surprised,' she said. 'I think it was his idea of a joke.' Simpson, 50, was acquitted during a criminal trial of murderering ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ronald Goldman, but a civil jury later found him liable for the deaths. In the interview, which airs April 29, he says 'Anyone is capable of murder,' but insists he did not kill the two victims." -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I George Michael Arrested For 'Lewd Conduct' (http://www.yahoo.co.uk/hea
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Vi: Maybe I am dense or something, but I honestly don't see where his sexuality has anything at all to do with what he did or did not do in that restroom. Sorry. My daughter was in love with him when he was in his glory with Wham. That is how I got to know his music, and I really liked it a lot then. I also heard yesterday that his career is taking off again since this restroom fiasco. Sue > Hi Sue, > > No wonder I liked his music so much in the beginning! Thanks for the > information. You can't blame anyone for coming to terms with their > sexuality over time, [][but one sure ought to stay out of public > restrooms in coping! :) > > Vi -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: L&I Boys Attack 3-Year-Old Girl
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Hi Ron: They can't even do anything to the two younger kids. :( The law in Texas says that they can't be held liable. Sue > > >> Police questioned the boys after the 7-year-old admitted > >> his involvement while being disciplined for another > >> matter by his school principal, police said. He then > >> implicated the other two boys. > > > > This has got to be the youngest "plea bargainer" in the history of criminal > justice. > > Ron -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
L&I TAX TIME!--The Daily Outrage!
Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes: Wednesday, April 15, 1998 TAX TIME! Mr. Outrage was confused. He had just filed his income tax forms and was reviewing them, as well as his overall income and expenses for 1997, with his financial advisor. Their conversation follows: Advisor: Look, we'll go through it step by step. Maybe that will help. First of all, the city says your house went up in value, so your real estate taxes increased. Mr. Outrage: What do I pay those for? I send my kids to private school because the local public schools are teaching that Martin Luther King led the troops at Valley Forge. All the local cops do is pull me over for speeding. The streets have potholes and the local dog-catcher accidentally put our Great Dane to sleep. Advisor: Well, your problem isn't the real estate taxes. Actually, in terms of local taxes, you probably paid more in sales tax. Plus, the real estate taxes are deductible against your state and federal income taxes, and the sales taxes aren't. Mr. Outrage: Sales taxes? I thought those went to the state. Advisor: Well, actually you pay two different sales taxes. When you eat out, you pay a state sales tax plus a meals tax. Incidentally, you seem to be eating out a lot. Mr. Outrage: Yeah, ever since my wife left me for the paperboy, I've been a regular at Mickey Dees and Burger King. But why do I pay an extra tax when I eat at fast food joints? Advisor: Well, a meals tax is sort of a luxury tax. By taxing all you single people who eat out all the time the city can pay for vital necessities, like the Easter egg hunt in the local park. Mr. Outrage: What about the personal property taxes? They seem really high. Advisor: Well, the local sales taxes and the real estate taxes weren't enough to pay for the new baseball stadium, so the city had to raise the personal property tax. Mr. Outrage: But isn't the stadium privately owned? I'm sure it is - that guy that made six billion dollars when he co-founded MacroHard owns it. Advisor: Yes, it's privately owned. But real estate, personal property and local sales taxes aren't what's really killing you. Did you look at your business return? Mr. Outrage: I did, but I still don't understand it. I was sure those sexual harassment insurance premiums were deductible. Advisor: They are, but only in the event that your income is less than $82,764. And of course not if you qualify for the alternative maximum income tax. Unless, of course, Jupiter is in the seventh moon, in which case you need to file form 32F. Mr. Outrage: What are these penalties? Advisor: You under-estimated your estimated tax. We had anticipated that you would have made less money than you did last year, but you made more, so you've got some problems. Mr.Outrage: How can that be? I don't have any money left. Advisor: You may also owe some alternative minimum tax. Mr. Outrage: What! I thought that was to make sure Madonna and Bill Gates paid their fair share. What does it have to do with me? Advisor: Quit complaining, the government provides lots of useful services. Didn't you see the PBS special, "Bill Clinton: A Moral Hero for our Times"? Mr. Outrage: This is unbelievable. How did these taxes get so high? Advisor: Well, some people complained about the National Endowment for the Arts paying millions of dollars for artists to paint black canvases. But their defenders explained that a hundred million dollars was nothing, in the scheme of things. Other people complained about farm subsidies and paying farmers not to grow crops. But the farmers protested: after all, as a percent of GNP, the subsidies weren't very much. Of course, despite the fact that there are approximately 751,293 competing forms of private media, we couldn't do without National Public Radio. And then there's the cost of playing Globo Cop. A few hundred million here, a few hundred million there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money. Mr. Outrage: What's this social security payment? Advisor: It's to help out the older folks, so they don't eat dog food in their golden years. Mr. Outrage: You mean like my great aunt Carol? The one that inherited the local shopping mall? Of course she never paid into the system. Well, at least I'll be secure in my old age. Advisor: No - actually, the system will be bankrupt by that time. Mr. Outrage: I have to tell you, I'm just glad I still have my boat. If I didn't have some place to escape I think I'd just go insane. Advisor: You may need to sell that boat. They're thinking about implementing an annual luxury tax on boats. Mr. Outrage: What are these capital gains? I didn't sell anything. Advisor: Those are from your mutual funds. Mr. Outrage: But I didn't sell any of my mutual funds. Advisor: Doesn't matter. The mutual funds sold stocks within the funds, and as a mutual fund owner you're liable for their gains. Mr. Outrage: How could there by any gains? The on
