Re: [QUAD-L] giving up
I think a lot of us get this feeling every now and then Toby. If it persists and your caregiver has about had it, as you indicated in your first e-mail, you might want to see if there's any way you can see someone to help you psychologically get through this. Perhaps the avenue which wheelchair suggested would be one approach. You need to be proactive though. I myself have began to feel this way over the last week and I am going to be making an appointment to see someone if I don't start feeling better by Monday. I am a C2-3 incomplete quadriplegic 17 years post, but I have just about the same return as you. Basically C4 and I am able to spend extended periods of time alone at home so that my caregivers can do other things besides take care of me. If you would like to ask questions, I would be willing to talk to you about how I do it. I really don't want to put it on the web for everyone to read, for purposes of security. Take care of yourself and keep what wheelchair said. Quadius On Wed, Sep 12, 2012 at 7:23 AM, Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com wrote: How often does anybody feel like just giving up on life because I know it's hard everyday being a quad isn't easy but it gets even older everyday ! Living as a quad is a day by day life but it gets so old and feel like a 90 year old but only am 47 have been a quad for 21yrs and have had more problems than u can wag a stick at . How does everyone stay positive ? Was in a car wreak in 91 when I was 25 and it's been a long and tiering life ! Any suggestions anyone ? Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 12:50 PM, Bobbie Humphreys bobbie...@aol.com wrote: Carson, Welcome back! Bobbie 39 years post … Parsippany New Jersey 25 miles West of NYC Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 4:18 AM, daa...@aol.com wrote: Glad you're back. Carson. Dana C 4-5, 38 years post, Prairie village Kansas , Kansas City area In a message dated 9/10/2012 8:59:23 P.M. Central Daylight Time, wheelch...@aol.com writes: Hiya Kit! Welcome Back. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/10/2012 2:28:28 P.M. Central Daylight Time, c1c2...@gmail.com writes: I have been on the list before, thought I should come back. I am high quad for 15 years. I live in arizona. Carson
Re: [QUAD-L] giving up
Randal, I'm very excited for you, that's terrific! Bobbie Sent from my iPad On Sep 14, 2012, at 7:37 PM, Randal Rodgers imaqua...@yahoo.com wrote: I just wrote a new book called the Ministry of Suffering. It will be an encouragement to anyone. I am a C67 quad for 17 years. The book can be read at http://www.imaquad.mysite.com/ From: Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com To: quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Cc: daa...@aol.com daa...@aol.com; wheelch...@aol.com wheelch...@aol.com; c1c2...@gmail.com c1c2...@gmail.com; quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wednesday, September 12, 2012 6:23 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] giving up How often does anybody feel like just giving up on life because I know it's hard everyday being a quad isn't easy but it gets even older everyday ! Living as a quad is a day by day life but it gets so old and feel like a 90 year old but only am 47 have been a quad for 21yrs and have had more problems than u can wag a stick at . How does everyone stay positive ? Was in a car wreak in 91 when I was 25 and it's been a long and tiering life ! Any suggestions anyone ? Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 12:50 PM, Bobbie Humphreys bobbie...@aol.com wrote: Carson, Welcome back! Bobbie 39 years post … Parsippany New Jersey 25 miles West of NYC Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 4:18 AM, daa...@aol.com wrote: Glad you're back. Carson. Dana C 4-5, 38 years post, Prairie village Kansas , Kansas City area In a message dated 9/10/2012 8:59:23 P.M. Central Daylight Time, wheelch...@aol.com writes: Hiya Kit! Welcome Back. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/10/2012 2:28:28 P.M. Central Daylight Time, c1c2...@gmail.com writes: I have been on the list before, thought I should come back. I am high quad for 15 years. I live in arizona. Carson
Re: [QUAD-L] giving up
I just wrote a new book called the Ministry of Suffering. It will be an encouragement to anyone. I am a C67 quad for 17 years. The book can be read at http://www.imaquad.mysite.com/ From: Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com To: quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Cc: daa...@aol.com daa...@aol.com; wheelch...@aol.com wheelch...@aol.com; c1c2...@gmail.com c1c2...@gmail.com; quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wednesday, September 12, 2012 6:23 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] giving up How often does anybody feel like just giving up on life because I know it's hard everyday being a quad isn't easy but it gets even older everyday ! Living as a quad is a day by day life but it gets so old and feel like a 90 year old but only am 47 have been a quad for 21yrs and have had more problems than u can wag a stick at . How does everyone stay positive ? Was in a car wreak in 91 when I was 25 and it's been a long and tiering life ! Any suggestions anyone ? Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 12:50 PM, Bobbie Humphreys bobbie...@aol.com wrote: Carson, Welcome back! Bobbie 39 years post … Parsippany New Jersey 25 miles West of NYC Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 4:18 AM, daa...@aol.com wrote: Glad you're back. Carson. Dana C 4-5, 38 years post, Prairie village Kansas , Kansas City area In a message dated 9/10/2012 8:59:23 P.M. Central Daylight Time, wheelch...@aol.com writes: Hiya Kit! Welcome Back. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/10/2012 2:28:28 P.M. Central Daylight Time, c1c2...@gmail.com writes: I have been on the list before, thought I should come back. I am high quad for 15 years. I live in arizona. Carson
Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up
Hi my name is Toby I'm from Columbus Nebraska I'm a c4 complete ,I only have a shrug in my shoulders am having a hard time right now finding a purpose to go on!!! I don't know if I should go into a nursing home or what to do!!! My care giver for the last 15 years has been their 24/7 365 days a year has about had it with me and I haven't really had to depend on anybody but her for a long time I'm scared more than anything but I don't know what to do ?? Sent from my iPad On Sep 12, 2012, at 11:22 PM, Nan nlg52...@yahoo.com wrote: You are not being weird - she is! My call is ... Totally inappropriate! Nan From: ~LittleQuad~ littleq...@yahoo.com To: Wheelchair wheelch...@aol.com; kkba...@yahoo.com; Quad-list post quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wednesday, September 12, 2012 1:36 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? Yes, everything W said! Except the crazy part!! Lq ~LittleQuad~ Sent from my BlackBerry -Original Message- From: wheelch...@aol.com Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2012 13:17:44 To: kkba...@yahoo.com; quad-list@eskimo.com; ericba...@gmail.com; lainieba...@yahoo.com; ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? You are crazy KK, but that is another issue (smiling) In the world of law, that action would be considered, assault. If the person touched you again after any sign of disapproval, those actions would be considered, assault and battery. This alone would lead to police intervention, a report, an arrest and money bond. The case would have to be heard by the court and a judgement. These actions would also lead to additional hearings, by the person's employment. These types of actions should not be tolerated by anyone, verbal or none verbal. Best Wishes -Original Message- From: KK kkba...@yahoo.com To: quad-list quad-list@eskimo.com; eric ericba...@gmail.com; Lainie Batte lainieba...@yahoo.com; MS Quads ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com Sent: Wed, Sep 12, 2012 9:21 am Subject: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? I am having a tough time deciding if this is wrong or I am being crazy. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am paralyzed from the chest down except for my right arm. No feeling at all. I also can not speak. This aide has been with me about 2 months, M-F 5 hours a day. Yesterday we went outside on the front porch she was talking to a neighbor. Suddenly she took my keys ran them across my feet. I did nothing. Didn't feel it but saw her movements. She smiled did it over over again. It was like she did not believe I could not feel it. Now I feel this was inappropriate but not sure what she expected to get out of her actions. It has made me feel uncomfortable dread her coming today. Maybe I am being weird. What do you think about it? KK
Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up
Stay out of a nursing home as long as possible. Exhaust all options. There is hope ! ron c7 From: Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com To: quad-list@eskimo.com Cc: quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thu, September 13, 2012 6:56:30 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up Hi my name is Toby I'm from Columbus Nebraska I'm a c4 complete ,I only have a shrug in my shoulders am having a hard time right now finding a purpose to go on!!! I don't know if I should go into a nursing home or what to do!!! My care giver for the last 15 years has been their 24/7 365 days a year has about had it with me and I haven't really had to depend on anybody but her for a long time I'm scared more than anything but I don't know what to do ?? Sent from my iPad On Sep 12, 2012, at 11:22 PM, Nan nlg52...@yahoo.com wrote: You are not being weird - she is! My call is ... Totally inappropriate! Nan From: ~LittleQuad~ littleq...@yahoo.com To: Wheelchair wheelch...@aol.com; kkba...@yahoo.com; Quad-list post quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wednesday, September 12, 2012 1:36 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? Yes, everything W said! Except the crazy part!! Lq ~LittleQuad~ Sent from my BlackBerry -Original Message- From: wheelch...@aol.com Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2012 13:17:44 To: kkba...@yahoo.com; quad-list@eskimo.com; ericba...@gmail.com; lainieba...@yahoo.com; ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? You are crazy KK, but that is another issue (smiling) In the world of law, that action would be considered, assault. If the person touched you again after any sign of disapproval, those actions would be considered, assault and battery. This alone would lead to police intervention, a report, an arrest and money bond. The case would have to be heard by the court and a judgement. These actions would also lead to additional hearings, by the person's employment. These types of actions should not be tolerated by anyone, verbal or none verbal. Best Wishes -Original Message- From: KK kkba...@yahoo.com To: quad-list quad-list@eskimo.com; eric ericba...@gmail.com; Lainie Batte lainieba...@yahoo.com; MS Quads ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com Sent: Wed, Sep 12, 2012 9:21 am Subject: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? I am having a tough time deciding if this is wrong or I am being crazy. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am paralyzed from the chest down except for my right arm. No feeling at all. I also can not speak. This aide has been with me about 2 months, M-F 5 hours a day. Yesterday we went outside on the front porch she was talking to a neighbor. Suddenly she took my keys ran them across my feet. I did nothing. Didn't feel it but saw her movements. She smiled did it over over again. It was like she did not believe I could not feel it. Now I feel this was inappropriate but not sure what she expected to get out of her actions. It has made me feel uncomfortable dread her coming today. Maybe I am being weird. What do you think about it? KK
Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up
If you don't get or keep a caregiver, then you may have to go to a home of some type---I met a quad from Florida once that told me he lived in an independent living facility for a number of years with some other disabled people, he said he really enjoyed his time there, plus they had a nurse or caregiver to help them when needed. I don't know if this option is available anymore or what states have this but it is worth checking into. Dan H. From: Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com To: quad-list@eskimo.com Cc: quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thu, September 13, 2012 6:56:32 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up Hi my name is Toby I'm from Columbus Nebraska I'm a c4 complete ,I only have a shrug in my shoulders am having a hard time right now finding a purpose to go on!!! I don't know if I should go into a nursing home or what to do!!! My care giver for the last 15 years has been their 24/7 365 days a year has about had it with me and I haven't really had to depend on anybody but her for a long time I'm scared more than anything but I don't know what to do ?? Sent from my iPad On Sep 12, 2012, at 11:22 PM, Nan nlg52...@yahoo.com wrote: You are not being weird - she is! My call is ... Totally inappropriate! Nan From: ~LittleQuad~ littleq...@yahoo.com To: Wheelchair wheelch...@aol.com; kkba...@yahoo.com; Quad-list post quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wednesday, September 12, 2012 1:36 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? Yes, everything W said! Except the crazy part!! Lq ~LittleQuad~ Sent from my BlackBerry -Original Message- From: wheelch...@aol.com Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2012 13:17:44 To: kkba...@yahoo.com; quad-list@eskimo.com; ericba...@gmail.com; lainieba...@yahoo.com; ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? You are crazy KK, but that is another issue (smiling) In the world of law, that action would be considered, assault. If the person touched you again after any sign of disapproval, those actions would be considered, assault and battery. This alone would lead to police intervention, a report, an arrest and money bond. The case would have to be heard by the court and a judgement. These actions would also lead to additional hearings, by the person's employment. These types of actions should not be tolerated by anyone, verbal or none verbal. Best Wishes -Original Message- From: KK kkba...@yahoo.com To: quad-list quad-list@eskimo.com; eric ericba...@gmail.com; Lainie Batte lainieba...@yahoo.com; MS Quads ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com Sent: Wed, Sep 12, 2012 9:21 am Subject: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? I am having a tough time deciding if this is wrong or I am being crazy. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am paralyzed from the chest down except for my right arm. No feeling at all. I also can not speak. This aide has been with me about 2 months, M-F 5 hours a day. Yesterday we went outside on the front porch she was talking to a neighbor. Suddenly she took my keys ran them across my feet. I did nothing. Didn't feel it but saw her movements. She smiled did it over over again. It was like she did not believe I could not feel it. Now I feel this was inappropriate but not sure what she expected to get out of her actions. It has made me feel uncomfortable dread her coming today. Maybe I am being weird. What do you think about it? KK
RE: [QUAD-L] Giving up
Toby, you have been very fortunate in having a consistent caregiver for so long. I was a caregiver for my mother for six years after she had a major stroke, and before I broke my neck. I am still a caregiver (although it is not a physical caregiving situation, but a supervisory directional caregiving instead), and it is difficult not to get burned out by the sameness and sometimes very frustrating feeling of helplessness that as a caregiver we can’t “fix” the problem. My family and I were counting up the number of caregivers that I have had in the last 22 years, and except for my youngest daughter who has on and off again been my caregiver it is close to 50! This includes some out of the caregivers who came and trained for a week or two and then we decided it was not going to work, and several who were with me for multiple years. The one thing I have learned over these years is that for me it is best to have at least three caregivers that I can count on to help out when life changes as it always does. My youngest daughter is again my main caregiver and works with me four days a week. I have another caregiver who comes four evenings a week and another who come in three days a week, returning in the evening for those three days. I have tried to keep in touch with my caregivers who have moved on as I have found that there are times when I run through all of the options available to me and need somebody for a day or two. I have been very lucky that I have a couple of ex caregivers who are willing to jump in and help if it is possible with their schedule. I find that I do much better and that I am more appreciative of each of their strengths when I do not depend upon one person. The only thing that we can count on in life is that there will always be change, and many times I have resisted the change only to find out that it was the best thing that could happen to me at that time of my life. It still is very scary to me to start to train a new caregiver, as I am a middle of the night “worst scenario possible nightmare type of person” and have to push myself to look for the positive and any new situation. My answer for myself is to keep busy and try very hard not to focus on the negative and try to remember that each of my top five caregivers of all time LOL were also completely new and green to my needs at one time. I’m trying to keep active outside of my family life so that I have unusual and different things to talk about with my family and attendants. I am still pushing myself to do things independently as much as possible, and have learned that most people in the community are very happy to help get something down from the shelves in the store, clerks are usually happy to put the things up on the scanner and cetera. I just have to swallow my pride and ask for help. The places that I go to on a regular basis are quite used to my needs and often ask if I need help long before I do. For instance, if I am at Home Depot I go around the store and look for the items that I want, and then go ask for help to put them in the cart and help me check out. If I have taken public transportation (we have a fabulous para transit system here in Reno) they will usually put my purchases aside until somebody can come pick them up. Just this little bit of independence really bolsters my self esteem and confidence level for the day. Sorry to go on and on, but yes there is plenty of life for even high quads like ourselves, but we have to look for it and find out what makes us the happiest. Or at least more content with what we have done that day which is never anything like what we were able to do before our injuries, or illnesses made such a dramatic change in our lives. Look for what makes you happy, and then go for it to the best of your ability. Good luck at this difficult time in your life. Joan
Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up
Hi Toby, My heart goes out to you and I hope you are able to develop a resolve. GOD, helps those who help themselves. The League of Human Dignity- Center for Independent Living Norfolk, Ne800-843-5785 toll free telephone. You have to make the original call to them. They are the Federal Funded Center closest to you. They represent you and YOUR best interest. Please call them and introduce yourself and advise them of your issues and concerns. I can only wish you well. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/13/2012 6:56:01 A.M. Central Daylight Time, toby.aus...@yahoo.com writes: Hi my name is Toby I'm from Columbus Nebraska I'm a c4 complete ,I only have a shrug in my shoulders am having a hard time right now finding a purpose to go on!!! I don't know if I should go into a nursing home or what to do!!! My care giver for the last 15 years has been their 24/7 365 days a year has about had it with me and I haven't really had to depend on anybody but her for a long time I'm scared more than anything but I don't know what to do ?? Sent from my iPad On Sep 12, 2012, at 11:22 PM, Nan _nlg52352@yahoo.com_ (mailto:nlg52...@yahoo.com) wrote: You are not being weird - she is! My call is ... Totally inappropriate! Nan From: ~LittleQuad~ _littlequad@yahoo.com_ (mailto:littleq...@yahoo.com) To: Wheelchair _wheelchair@aol.com_ (mailto:wheelch...@aol.com) ; _kkbatte@yahoo.com_ (mailto:kkba...@yahoo.com) ; Quad-list post _quad-list@eskimo.com_ (mailto:quad-list@eskimo.com) Sent: Wednesday, September 12, 2012 1:36 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? Yes, everything W said! Except the crazy part!! Lq ~LittleQuad~ Sent from my BlackBerry -Original Message- From: _wheelchair@aol.com_ (mailto:wheelch...@aol.com) Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2012 13:17:44 To: _kkbatte@yahoo.com_ (mailto:kkba...@yahoo.com) ; _quad-list@eskimo.com_ (mailto:quad-list@eskimo.com) ; _ericbatte@gmail.com_ (mailto:ericba...@gmail.com) ; _lainiebatte@yahoo.com_ (mailto:lainieba...@yahoo.com) ; _ms-quads@yahoogroups.com_ (mailto:ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com) Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? You are crazy KK, but that is another issue (smiling) In the world of law, that action would be considered, assault. If the person touched you again after any sign of disapproval, those actions would be considered, assault and battery. This alone would lead to police intervention, a report, an arrest and money bond. The case would have to be heard by the court and a judgement. These actions would also lead to additional hearings, by the person's employment. These types of actions should not be tolerated by anyone, verbal or none verbal. Best Wishes -Original Message- From: KK _kkbatte@yahoo.com_ (mailto:kkba...@yahoo.com) To: quad-list _quad-list@eskimo.com_ (mailto:quad-list@eskimo.com) ; eric _ericbatte@gmail.com_ (mailto:ericba...@gmail.com) ; Lainie Batte _lainiebatte@yahoo.com_ (mailto:lainieba...@yahoo.com) ; MS Quads _ms-quads@yahoogroups.com_ (mailto:ms-qu...@yahoogroups.com) Sent: Wed, Sep 12, 2012 9:21 am Subject: [QUAD-L] Is this inappropriate touching? I am having a tough time deciding if this is wrong or I am being crazy. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am paralyzed from the chest down except for my right arm. No feeling at all. I also can not speak. This aide has been with me about 2 months, M-F 5 hours a day. Yesterday we went outside on the front porch she was talking to a neighbor. Suddenly she took my keys ran them across my feet. I did nothing. Didn't feel it but saw her movements. She smiled did it over over again. It was like she did not believe I could not feel it. Now I feel this was inappropriate but not sure what she expected to get out of her actions. It has made me feel uncomfortable dread her coming today. Maybe I am being weird. What do you think about it? KK =
[QUAD-L] Giving up- UpDate
To those with concerns, regarding Toby, I was advised by my contacts at the League of Human Dignity that a contact was made by the Executive Director and Toby. The Privacy Act prevents us from knowing further details. I truly hope that our friend Toby is satisfied at this point. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/13/2012 10:26:47 A.M. Central Daylight Time, wheelch...@aol.com writes: Hi Toby, My heart goes out to you and I hope you are able to develop a resolve. GOD, helps those who help themselves. The League of Human Dignity- Center for Independent Living Norfolk, Ne800-843-5785 toll free telephone. You have to make the original call to them. They are the Federal Funded Center closest to you. They represent you and YOUR best interest. Please call them and introduce yourself and advise them of your issues and concerns. I can only wish you well. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/13/2012 6:56:01 A.M. Central Daylight Time, toby.aus...@yahoo.com writes: Hi my name is Toby I'm from Columbus Nebraska I'm a c4 complete ,I only have a shrug in my shoulders am having a hard time right now finding a purpose to go on!!! I don't know if I should go into a nursing home or what to do!!! My care giver for the last 15 years has been their 24/7 365 days a year has about had it with me and I haven't really had to depend on anybody but her for a long time I'm scared more than anything but I don't know what to do ??
Re: [QUAD-L] Giving up
Toby, I agree with Joan, it is awful to lose a good aide, almost as bad as a divorce but we as quads need to have at least 2 aides if not more depending on your needs. Also, it can be scary to be independent but people out there are helpful. Sometimes people fall all over themselves trying to help me in the grocery store (not always) Perhaps you can get a canine companion. Don't give up, this too shall pass.. Meredith - Original Message - From: Joan Anglin poaj...@sbcglobal.net To: Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com, quad-list@eskimo.com Cc: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:16:07 AM Subject: RE: [QUAD-L] Giving up Toby, you have been very fortunate in having a consistent caregiver for so long. I was a caregiver for my mother for six years after she had a major stroke, and before I broke my neck. I am still a caregiver (although it is not a physical caregiving situation, but a supervisory directional caregiving instead), and it is difficult not to get burned out by the sameness and sometimes very frustrating feeling of helplessness that as a caregiver we can’t “fix” the problem. My family and I were counting up the number of caregivers that I have had in the last 22 years, and except for my youngest daughter who has on and off again been my caregiver it is close to 50! This includes some out of the caregivers who came and trained for a week or two and then we decided it was not going to work, and several who were with me for multiple years. The one thing I have learned over these years is that for me it is best to have at least three caregivers that I can count on to help out when life changes as it always does. My youngest daughter is again my main caregiver and works with me four days a week. I have another caregiver who comes four evenings a week and another who come in three days a week, returning in the evening for those three days. I have tried to keep in touch with my caregivers who have moved on as I have found that there are times when I run through all of the options available to me and need somebody for a day or two. I have been very lucky that I have a couple of ex caregivers who are willing to jump in and help if it is possible with their schedule. I find that I do much better and that I am more appreciative of each of their strengths when I do not depend upon one person. The only thing that we can count on in life is that there will always be change, and many times I have resisted the change only to find out that it was the best thing that could happen to me at that time of my life. It still is very scary to me to start to train a new caregiver, as I am a middle of the night “worst scenario possible nightmare type of person” and have to push myself to look for the positive and any new situation. My answer for myself is to keep busy and try very hard not to focus on the negative and try to remember that each of my top five caregivers of all time LOL were also completely new and green to my needs at one time. I’m trying to keep active outside of my family life so that I have unusual and different things to talk about with my family and attendants. I am still pushing myself to do things independently as much as possible, and have learned that most people in the community are very happy to help get something down from the shelves in the store, clerks are usually happy to put the things up on the scanner and cetera. I just have to swallow my pride and ask for help. The places that I go to on a regular basis are quite used to my needs and often ask if I need help long before I do. For instance, if I am at Home Depot I go around the store and look for the items that I want, and then go ask for help to put them in the cart and help me check out. If I have taken public transportation (we have a fabulous para transit system here in Reno) they will usually put my purchases aside until somebody can come pick them up. Just this little bit of independence really bolsters my self esteem and confidence level for the day. Sorry to go on and on, but yes there is plenty of life for even high quads like ourselves, but we have to look for it and find out what makes us the happiest. Or at least more content with what we have done that day which is never anything like what we were able to do before our injuries, or illnesses made such a dramatic change in our lives. Look for what makes you happy, and then go for it to the best of your ability. Good luck at this difficult time in your life. Joan
Re: [QUAD-L] giving up
How often does anybody feel like just giving up on life because I know it's hard everyday being a quad isn't easy but it gets even older everyday ! Living as a quad is a day by day life but it gets so old and feel like a 90 year old but only am 47 have been a quad for 21yrs and have had more problems than u can wag a stick at . How does everyone stay positive ? Was in a car wreak in 91 when I was 25 and it's been a long and tiering life ! Any suggestions anyone ? Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 12:50 PM, Bobbie Humphreys bobbie...@aol.com wrote: Carson, Welcome back! Bobbie 39 years post … Parsippany New Jersey 25 miles West of NYC Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 4:18 AM, daa...@aol.com wrote: Glad you're back. Carson. Dana C 4-5, 38 years post, Prairie village Kansas , Kansas City area In a message dated 9/10/2012 8:59:23 P.M. Central Daylight Time, wheelch...@aol.com writes: Hiya Kit! Welcome Back. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/10/2012 2:28:28 P.M. Central Daylight Time, c1c2...@gmail.com writes: I have been on the list before, thought I should come back. I am high quad for 15 years. I live in arizona. Carson
Re: [QUAD-L] giving up
I can completely understand how you feel ! Our car wreck was August 3rd 1997. I was 40 and now i'm 55 years old. This morning we were both struggling to get up get going another day, My wife was in the accident with me and is my sole caregiver, She gets severe migraine headaches from the accident and must work full time plus take care of me and a grandson we must raise. My 1st 10 years as a quad was heavenly compared to now . lol, I feel like i'm like a feeble older 80 plus year old man at times. I guess all we can do is try to stay positive, focus on the good things we have or can enjoy--I think we all gotta be tough mentally...We are not alone, as many of the quads on here face similar trials of life. Stay strong ! like I have found out thru the years-things could always be worse than most current situations, even when that seems hard to imagine at times. I have seen quads on T.V. in forein countries that are so poor they must be pulled around in a wagon because the terrain is bad and can't afford wheelchairs. When I think of poor folks like that...I realize how blessed I am. Dan H.* C-6 From: Toby Ausbun toby.aus...@yahoo.com To: quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Cc: daa...@aol.com daa...@aol.com; wheelch...@aol.com wheelch...@aol.com; c1c2...@gmail.com c1c2...@gmail.com; quad-list@eskimo.com quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wed, September 12, 2012 6:24:51 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] giving up How often does anybody feel like just giving up on life because I know it's hard everyday being a quad isn't easy but it gets even older everyday ! Living as a quad is a day by day life but it gets so old and feel like a 90 year old but only am 47 have been a quad for 21yrs and have had more problems than u can wag a stick at . How does everyone stay positive ? Was in a car wreak in 91 when I was 25 and it's been a long and tiering life ! Any suggestions anyone ? Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 12:50 PM, Bobbie Humphreys bobbie...@aol.com wrote: Carson, Welcome back! Bobbie 39 years post … Parsippany New Jersey 25 miles West of NYC Sent from my iPad On Sep 11, 2012, at 4:18 AM, daa...@aol.com wrote: Glad you're back. Carson. Dana C 4-5, 38 years post, Prairie village Kansas , Kansas City area In a message dated 9/10/2012 8:59:23 P.M. Central Daylight Time, wheelch...@aol.com writes: Hiya Kit! Welcome Back. Best Wishes In a message dated 9/10/2012 2:28:28 P.M. Central Daylight Time, c1c2...@gmail.com writes: I have been on the list before, thought I should come back. I am high quad for 15 years. I live in arizona. Carson
