Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
Annette .. your story sounds very similar to mine accept I have had more health issues starting in 2004 (skin breakdown and bladder stones). My husband was 15 years older than I and he had 3 kids from his previous marriage. Two of them had gone off to college and the last one was a teenager when we got married in 1997 (the year your son was born!). Life pretty much stopped after losing the love of my life and I thought that my sister and brother-in-law would let me live with them for more than 3 years which is why I had an estate sale having to sell most all of the things that my husband had had before marrying me and after we were together but I had no other choice because I need help around-the-clock. I know things are just things but we shared everything I used everything I loved everything... most of all the 2 Golden Retrievers that we adopted together and the one that I still have but is getting older. I am thankful she is still very healthy (healthier than I am) because she is the love of my life and has gone through her Daddy's death, having to move away or move somewhere since my sister and brother-in-law asked me to move on. One day I had everything and the next day it was gone. I did not realize I was in shock 4 to 6 months after my husband passed away or if I could've seen the future I would have kept so much that we shared, collective and loved. It is rare for us females to spell out everything on the quad list but I am so glad that you shared what you did! My biggest regret is not having a child of my own or adopting one when I was younger with my ex common-law husband. My husband did not want any more children (he was 49 and I was 33 when we were married) and his kids only saw me as their fathers life since they had a mother of their own. They will e-mail me (at least the two boys will) if I e-mail them but they are both in their middle 30s with lives of their own in other states. My husband missed out on meeting 4 of his grandchildren who were just about to come and visit him the month after he passed away! We had just had his oldest son, his daughter and her husband and their first child who was 18 months old several days around Thanksgiving or Christmas 2011 because my husband passed away of a cardiac arrest in June 2012. We had purchased several gifts for his 18-month-old granddaughter for Christmas and my husband filmed her opening them and it was a nice visit and the first time he met his 18-month-old granddaughter because his daughter and her husband are so busy and live so far away. Same state but Flagstaff Arizona and we are in Tucson and that is quite a trip when you have a little one and a job to go back to (her husband and I think). She became a nurse. I think they moved to New Mexico because his job changed but I'm not sure since she does not correspond with me. Also, when my husband was still alive, she got pregnant again and began sending my husband and me the ultrasound photos so we were looking forward to another grandchild. His second oldest son was coming to visit with his wife and 4 children the following months. In fact, they had already purchased the plane tickets because they live in Connecticut... on the other side of the nation! We always see photos of them but I can't fly so my husband doesn't go there and his son is so busy with his job that it is hard to get away and then get away with 4 kids on a plane. We met their firstborn and we saw them back in 2002 and 2003 but so many different things came up in their life that they were not able to make a trip out and she was popping out one kid after another so that kept them home as well. He also had to finish his PhD (when he was 29) and get used to his job. Now they have moved to North Carolina! All I can say is for you to imagine (which of course is extremely difficult because I was in your position at one time thinking my husband was just fine and his kids were coming to visit, etc. etc. etc.) that what if something were to happen to your husband and son so they would not be with you anymore. In other words, putting yourself in my shoes and God forbid something abruptly happening to your husband & son but life throws some awful curveballs! Again, thank you for sharing Annette! What we should do on this list because it is so easy to forget is to list your name and age and who you live with and where. Just the state of course. If anyone wants to start a thread like that I would participate. Oh! And include your level of injury and the year you were injured. ~Lori On Sun, Jan 29, 2017 at 4:04 AM, Annette Storesund wrote: > I know having my accident at 17 May 1981 was such a shock but being from > such a small town, they all were very supportive. I had wonderful doctors, > nurses, therapists and there were other paralyzed people at the rehab that > inspired me. Plus family, my parents, younger siblings, Aunts, Uncles, > Cousins and family from both sides came to support me and my family. I > took my firs
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
I know having my accident at 17 May 1981 was such a shock but being from such a small town, they all were very supportive. I had wonderful doctors, nurses, therapists and there were other paralyzed people at the rehab that inspired me. Plus family, my parents, younger siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and family from both sides came to support me and my family. I took my first semester of my senior year at the rehab place. I got to go home on the weekend and my parents allowed my classmates to come visit me. The house was full the whole time. When they left, they always cleaned up. When I got out of rehab I was able to go back to my school the 2nd semester and graduate with my class. I waited a year and then went to collage at ISU for 3 and half year which I made a lot of friends there. I had such wonderful experiences there. Many of my friends from there came to my wedding when I married my high school sweetheart, September 1986. He moved to Las Vegas NV because he was stationed at Nellis Air Force. my husband got out of the Air Force after 10yrs, it was too hard when he had to got oversea for a year. We had our son June 1997 after my husband got out of the Air Force September 1986. He got a job at the Post Office. When our son was just over a year old, we chose to move back to Iowa to be closer to family, October 1998,, grandparent, all our family lived close by so our son would know them. The move was hard but like everything else, we managed. My husband was able to transfer to an Iowa post office. We have been here since. My husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary Sept 2016. Our son will be be 20 in June. Even though I have had a few health issues, we have managed through them. In all this time I seen how my disability helped many others see things differently. I experienced things I never would have if I had not had my accident. I think it was destiny for me to have this accident. The only thing I wish was different since this accident was in my life plan God gave me, I wish I could have hand use of my hands. The older I get my body/skin gets weaker, prone to sores. I still find myself very Blessed. My belief in God helped keep my on the positive road. I have gained so much. It does scare me getting older but my husband and son have informed me that they need me so that is more then enough to keep me going. . For those who feel at the end of their rope, search inside and you should find a silver lining, grab that and let it lead you to a more positive place even if it means moving, adding a new friend or pet in. It many not be easy but life isn't easy for many. .I hope this gives some ideas in finding a new positive road. On Sat, Jan 28, 2017 at 5:22 PM, Carolyn Boyles wrote: > My husband of 33 years (in March) and a houseful of special needs cats. We > couldn't have children so we started adopting special needs cats. We did > get carried away over the years, but we younger and in better health. > > In a more technical sense we keep pushin' on because we haven't died > yet.:-) > > I believe in God. Spinal cord injuries typically happen because of an > accident. Each of us could easily have been killed, but we were spared. I > think it happens for a reason. My husband thinks it's to change the path > your life was on because it would be worse in some way. > > That's my two cents' worth. > > Carolyn > >
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
My husband of 33 years (in March) and a houseful of special needs cats. We couldn't have children so we started adopting special needs cats. We did get carried away over the years, but we younger and in better health. In a more technical sense we keep pushin' on because we haven't died yet.:-) I believe in God. Spinal cord injuries typically happen because of an accident. Each of us could easily have been killed, but we were spared. I think it happens for a reason. My husband thinks it's to change the path your life was on because it would be worse in some way. That's my two cents' worth. Carolyn
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
Love begins, with you. From: Jeffrey Gaede Sent: Friday, January 27, 2017 6:54 PM To: Paul Jacobson Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on Love is a good reason to push on, but not all of us have love in our lives From: Paul Jacobson To: Jeffrey Gaede ; Quad-list Post Sent: Friday, January 27, 2017 9:56 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on love From: Jeffrey Gaede Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:34 PM To: Quad-list Post Subject: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on Why do people keep pushing on? I mean it's bad enough to be substantially disabled, but it doesn't stop there. People, in general, don't want to be around you. It's difficult to go places and do things; average things that most people do all the time. And you know from experience that illnesses and such can pop up at any moment, much more easily than the average person. You try like hell to avoid being dependent on the government but it's nearly impossible, even if you work full-time. That means you constantly have someone with which to answer. Someone with their own rules, who can't begin to understand you and what you go through on a daily basis. I could see where if you were recently disabled then maybe you haven't been through enough to realize what life is going to throw your way, but what about those of us that have been around a while? What keeps you pushing on… Jeff From: greg To: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:30 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] Bd I hate going to bed. I freeze the first half hour no matter how warm I get my room. Shake like I'm convulsing. I'd stay in my chair 24/7 if I could. Plus I just hate not being able to move around. Greg
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
My sweetheart of 34 years and family Bobbie "Be the change you want to see in the world". Gandhi > On Jan 27, 2017, at 12:56 PM, Paul Jacobson wrote: > > love > > From: Jeffrey Gaede > Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:34 PM > To: Quad-list Post > Subject: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on > > Why do people keep pushing on? I mean it's bad enough to be substantially > disabled, but it doesn't stop there. People, in general, don't want to be > around you. It's difficult to go places and do things; average things that > most people do all the time. And you know from experience that illnesses and > such can pop up at any moment, much more easily than the average person. You > try like hell to avoid being dependent on the government but it's nearly > impossible, even if you work full-time. That means you constantly have > someone with which to answer. Someone with their own rules, who can't begin > to understand you and what you go through on a daily basis. I could see where > if you were recently disabled then maybe you haven't been through enough to > realize what life is going to throw your way, but what about those of us that > have been around a while? What keeps you pushing on… Jeff > > > From: greg > To: quad-list@eskimo.com > Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:30 PM > Subject: [QUAD-L] Bd > > I hate going to bed. I freeze the first half hour no matter how warm I get my > room. > Shake like I'm convulsing. > I'd stay in my chair 24/7 if I could. > Plus I just hate not being able to move around. > Greg > >
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
I ran out of family. I can't even remember what it's like to have parents since I lost them when I was a teenager. Then I lost my grandparents who loved having me live with them. Then I lost my first common law husband of 13 years and then my husband of 15 years. So it is my Golden (retriever) that my husband and I adopted together and who stays with me 24/7/365. I have 2 much older sisters and only 1 niece who talks to me so this is the first time I have been living alone without family or a spouse. I was so traumatized by the loss of my husband that I began to have Psychogenic Nonepileptic Seizures (caused by stress) and so when I lose my devoted canine daughter I know I will have even more seizures. I am not thinking negatively but she is the only "being" who loves me for who I am and stays with me and when I have to go to a doctor's appointment without her or something she won't eat or drink until I get back. Now, after last year of hell... she is the only reason I get up in the morning now. On Fri, Jan 27, 2017 at 1:18 PM, Larry Willis wrote: > My family is what keeps ne going. Without then I would be ready to go. 46 > years as a quad is enough. > > Sent from my iPad > > Begin forwarded message: > > *Resent-From:* quad-list@eskimo.com > *From:* RONALD L PRACHT > *Date:* January 27, 2017 1:35:43 PM EST > *To:* Quad-list Post > *Subject:* *Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on* > *Reply-To:* RONALD L PRACHT > > What it comes down to is there is no option other than suicide to get out > of it. What has helped me is the realization that life is short for > everybody and in 50 years nobody will know the difference who was a quad or > not. Life is a gift, even as a quad and each of us have to find our own > reasons. I dont know if you have heard the song by garth brooks called the > dance, but it talks about lifes pain and gifts. In order to get out of the > pain you would of had to miss the dance. Think about all the special things > you have done in your life. We have to struggle harder to find purpose each > day that the average person thats for sure. I think a quad knows and > appreciates the little things life gives us more. Listen to the song and > maybe that can help. > > > On Friday, January 27, 2017 11:57 AM, Paul Jacobson > wrote: > > > love > > *From:* Jeffrey Gaede > *Sent:* Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:34 PM > *To:* Quad-list Post > *Subject:* [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on > > Why do people keep pushing on? I mean it's bad enough to be substantially > disabled, but it doesn't stop there. People, in general, don't want to be > around you. It's difficult to go places and do things; average things that > most people do all the time. And you know from experience that illnesses > and such can pop up at any moment, much more easily than the average > person. You try like hell to avoid being dependent on the government but > it's nearly impossible, even if you work full-time. That means you > constantly have someone with which to answer. Someone with their own rules, > who can't begin to understand you and what you go through on a daily basis. > I could see where if you were recently disabled then maybe you haven't been > through enough to realize what life is going to throw your way, but what > about those of us that have been around a while? What keeps you pushing on… > Jeff > > > -- > *From:* greg > *To:* quad-list@eskimo.com > *Sent:* Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:30 PM > *Subject:* [QUAD-L] Bd > > I hate going to bed. I freeze the first half hour no matter how warm I get > my room. > Shake like I'm convulsing. > I'd stay in my chair 24/7 if I could. > Plus I just hate not being able to move around. > Greg > > > > > -- "Petting, scratching and cuddling a dog could be soothing to the mind and heart and deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer." ~Dean Koontz
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
What it comes down to is there is no option other than suicide to get out of it. What has helped me is the realization that life is short for everybody and in 50 years nobody will know the difference who was a quad or not. Life is a gift, even as a quad and each of us have to find our own reasons. I dont know if you have heard the song by garth brooks called the dance, but it talks about lifes pain and gifts. In order to get out of the pain you would of had to miss the dance. Think about all the special things you have done in your life. We have to struggle harder to find purpose each day that the average person thats for sure. I think a quad knows and appreciates the little things life gives us more. Listen to the song and maybe that can help. On Friday, January 27, 2017 11:57 AM, Paul Jacobson wrote: love From: Jeffrey Gaede Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:34 PMTo: Quad-list Post Subject: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on Why do people keep pushing on? I mean it's bad enough to be substantially disabled, but it doesn't stop there. People, in general, don't want to be around you. It's difficult to go places and do things; average things that most people do all the time. And you know from experience that illnesses and such can pop up at any moment, much more easily than the average person. You try like hell to avoid being dependent on the government but it's nearly impossible, even if you work full-time. That means you constantly have someone with which to answer. Someone with their own rules, who can't begin to understand you and what you go through on a daily basis. I could see where if you were recently disabled then maybe you haven't been through enough to realize what life is going to throw your way, but what about those of us that have been around a while? What keeps you pushing on… Jeff From: greg To: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:30 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] Bd I hate going to bed. I freeze the first half hour no matter how warm I get my room.Shake like I'm convulsing.I'd stay in my chair 24/7 if I could.Plus I just hate not being able to move around.Greg
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
JeffMost of us Quads can very well relate to what you said here ! To sum it up for me is that-- Life itself is a challenge for everyone on Earth in many different ways. Life is not always easy or fair while we are here. I think that for a person to kill themselves is wrong and not part of Gods intended plan for mankind. ( although who am I to Judge anyone ) I just try to do my best while here in facing all the hard challenges, and learn or grow in any way possible...Plus try to enjoy the best things in life that I can, such as eating a good meal, watching a good movie or listening to good music, and enjoy my family and friends as much as possible. I was lucky to begin to have grand kids after my accident and it's been a joy watching them learn and grow. I have had some cool pets too...had an Amazing Red Doberman that would mind and obey almost like a human, sadly (Sabra ) passed away just short of 9 years of age. So I think we must just try to do our best until our time here is over. Other quads on here may have some more views on this subject, take care ! Dan H. ** On Friday, January 27, 2017 11:57 AM, Paul Jacobson wrote: love From: Jeffrey Gaede Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:34 PMTo: Quad-list Post Subject: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on Why do people keep pushing on? I mean it's bad enough to be substantially disabled, but it doesn't stop there. People, in general, don't want to be around you. It's difficult to go places and do things; average things that most people do all the time. And you know from experience that illnesses and such can pop up at any moment, much more easily than the average person. You try like hell to avoid being dependent on the government but it's nearly impossible, even if you work full-time. That means you constantly have someone with which to answer. Someone with their own rules, who can't begin to understand you and what you go through on a daily basis. I could see where if you were recently disabled then maybe you haven't been through enough to realize what life is going to throw your way, but what about those of us that have been around a while? What keeps you pushing on… Jeff From: greg To: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:30 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] Bd I hate going to bed. I freeze the first half hour no matter how warm I get my room.Shake like I'm convulsing.I'd stay in my chair 24/7 if I could.Plus I just hate not being able to move around.Greg
Re: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on
love From: Jeffrey Gaede Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:34 PM To: Quad-list Post Subject: [QUAD-L] Why keep pushing on Why do people keep pushing on? I mean it's bad enough to be substantially disabled, but it doesn't stop there. People, in general, don't want to be around you. It's difficult to go places and do things; average things that most people do all the time. And you know from experience that illnesses and such can pop up at any moment, much more easily than the average person. You try like hell to avoid being dependent on the government but it's nearly impossible, even if you work full-time. That means you constantly have someone with which to answer. Someone with their own rules, who can't begin to understand you and what you go through on a daily basis. I could see where if you were recently disabled then maybe you haven't been through enough to realize what life is going to throw your way, but what about those of us that have been around a while? What keeps you pushing on… Jeff From: greg To: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:30 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] Bd I hate going to bed. I freeze the first half hour no matter how warm I get my room. Shake like I'm convulsing. I'd stay in my chair 24/7 if I could. Plus I just hate not being able to move around. Greg
