Openoffice and mail merge. Or maybe one of those boilerplate letters William de Worde keeps for dwarfs who want to write home (in pterry's "the truth")
Then run it through a text to speech converter of some kind Sirtaj Singh Kang [05/11/08 18:58 +0530]:
each winter, what I want is a HUD that will allow me to speak to long-lost relatives in the following manner: Sat Sri Akal, <relation prefix> <relative name>, it's lovely to see you for the first time since <previous wedding where this person was met>, I am so sorry on the passing of <relative's deceased close relative>, and I heard about <salutory event>, congratulations! How is <relative's close relative>? I don't see <him/her> here, has <he/she> <milestone event> yet?
