Thank you thank you. More more.
Marshall Dudley wrote: > > So with that in mind, here is today's immune system boost: > > Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in- > flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more > entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or > reported: > > 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave > your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." > > 2. Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am > going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as > you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit > cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight > pattern." > > 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We > hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking > you for a ride." > > 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington > National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. > Whoa!" > > 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in > Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please > take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a > landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." > > 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest > Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab > into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other > seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably > shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden > loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. > Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you > have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before > assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, > decide now which one you love more." > > 7. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, > but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and > remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest > Airlines." > > 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an > emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." > > 9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your > belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the > flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." > > 10. "Last one off the plane must clean it." > > 11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to > have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. > Unfortunately none of them are on this flight." > > 12. This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, > Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final > approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an > extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and > announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain > in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis > what's left of our airplane to the gate!" > > 13. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect > landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo > bounces us to the terminal." > > 14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had > hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a > policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while > the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ > airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard > time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would > have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for > this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, did we > land or were we shot down?" > > 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight > attendant got on the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please > remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought > the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the > tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open > the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the > terminal." > > 16. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to > thank you folks for flying with us today...and, the next time you get > the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized > metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways." > > -- > The silver-list is a moderated forum for discussion of colloidal silver. > > To join or quit silver-list or silver-digest send an e-mail message to: > silver-list-requ...@eskimo.com -or- silver-digest-requ...@eskimo.com > with the word subscribe or unsubscribe in the SUBJECT line. > > To post, address your message to: silver-list@eskimo.com > Silver-list archive: http://escribe.com/health/thesilverlist/index.html > List maintainer: Mike Devour <mdev...@eskimo.com>
