OBITUARY For Mr. COMMON SENSE!

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart
failure on the brink of the new millennium.

No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done without
fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating
such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the
early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not
the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his
health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his
waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but
overbearing regulations.


He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.  His
health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools
had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not
inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the
Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally, when a woman, failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common
Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.


Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is
survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many attended
his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

-Author Unknown



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