Absolutely!
One of the hardest things for an ego to admit is that it doesn't always
help. It's a good tool for some things, but a screwdriver doesn't hammer
nails very well.
One of the hardest things to learn is that the person is not his ego.
Neurolingusitic [de] programming says, My ego may be bruised, but I'm just
fine.
I say, if you're ever going to 'get over it', why not do it now? If
you're never going to 'get over it', you'll waste a lot of time and energy
that the victimizer doesn't even know about, so, just who gets hurt forever?
If something worthwhile and productive can be done, do it...then go on.
[Or, never worry about something that can't be done.]
Hate, worry, anger etc are not necessary to take action if any action CAN
be taken. What is not necessary is a waste...especially when something
else more pleasurable is being delayed...especially when using those
emotions to justify an action and taking that action makes the situation
even worse.
What can I 'do' to make this situation better? Nothing? OK, forget it.
[My ego might not like it, but I am not my ego. My ego only reacts
according to programming. "I" can actually "think".]
The guy that cut me off is going on to his own wreck. I don't have to take
that journey with him.
Atempting to make someone more angry than I am doesn't really make me feel
'good', it only makes me feel 'better than him'. [and then, only if I
succeed] If I have EVER cut someone off...I am not better than him. I have
NO way of knowing WHY he did it. It may be because I just don't count to
him...but my anger makes him count to me and I wind up carrying him around.
Who gets hurt there? [me]
Even more counterproductive is to attempt to make someone who's not even
involved feel worse than I.
When you stop to think about it, feeling better than someone else does not
feel good at all.
In fact, the best thing to do when feeling angry and insulted is to go
out of your way to help someone [anyone] else feel better about themselves.
That's a useful projection that produces a useful reflection. It's
something cool to do AND helps you.
The ego is a liar. It lies to you and points a finger anywhere but to
where the root of the problem is so it can't be solved.
The ego is also a tool. I can help you set and achieve goals by giving you
reasons and justifications for a sense of worthiness. [If you feel you even
need reasons and justifications to do productive things. 'Just cause'..I
wanna?]
Suppression is not control. Control comes from understanding what emotions
are, where they come from and what they do. Once an understanding is
achieved, emotional control becomes automatic and any upset serves as a
trigger for more understanding. Choices made from a basis of understanding
are usually helpful and productive.
It also makes one unprogrammable. Others find it really hard to manipulate
you.
And I find it really hard to not respect someone who can't be programmed.
That's what strength of character really is.
Ken
At 03:45 PM 5/26/02 -0700, you wrote:
>THE MIND IS A POWERFUL TOOL!!
>
>Ken, I agree fully, one of the hardest things I encountered in
>the area of mind control was that I could control an angry
>response to what ever would normally elicit one.
>Although I had been getting excellent results with conscious
>control in many areas of my mind and body for about 10 years
>at that time, the idea that when some dumb #%##**&* just cut
>me off. that I NEED NOT respond in anger, had never occurred to me.
>
>It took a lot of urging by a brilliant woman, (a friend and more),
>to convince me that I had CHOSEN TO RESPOND that way.
>I took me almost a year to manage not to suppress, but substitute,
>of all things, humor as a response. Try it, it can be done!
>
>If you can find the control, you'll sure as hell live a lot longer.
>We CHOOSE how we will respond to so many events, that conscious
>control is really worth trying to achieve
>
>> From: Ode Coyote <coy...@alltel.net>
>> Reply-To: silver-list@eskimo.com
>> Date: Sun, 26 May 2002 08:28:52 -0400
>> To: silver-list@eskimo.com
>> Subject: Re: CS>OT> THE NOCEBO EFFECT
>> Resent-From: silver-list@eskimo.com
>> Resent-Date: Sun, 26 May 2002 05:48:47 -0700
>>
>> The modern assessment of depression is that it's a result of an
imbalance of
>> brain chemicals.
>> This is true enough, but, it's the thought processes and associated
activities
>> that tell the body to produce those chemicals.
>> People run out of reasons to be happy and active.
>>
>> The cure [for most people] is to come to the realization that all
reasons are
>> 'made up' by their own minds.
>> The only difference between a reason and an excuse is that someone else can
>> accept the excuse and call it a reason.
>
>
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